America To World: We Screwed Up!
On the eve of Fourth of July weekend, looking back on two-hundred and thirty years of American history, it's easy to see that, as a nation, we've made a mistake or two along the way: Slavery, the administration of James Buchanan, prohibition, Barry Manilow - all readily come to mind. But nowhere - and I mean, NOWHERE - did we err as mightily as we did in November of 2000 - Election Day, to be precise - when we foolishly sent a contemptible, half-witted inside trader by the name of George W. Bush to the oval office - to the White House! Most people learn from their mistakes, right? Not us! No sir! Already the laughingstock of the planet, the world looked on with what can only be described as horrified amusement, wondering if we would repeat our little electoral aberration. On election day, 2004, we cheerfully obliged.
I must say something in our own defence, meager as that defence may be: Bush didn't actually win those elections. We now know the story about how they removed 57,000 African Americans from the list of registered voters in Florida in 2000. WELCOME HOME, JIM CROW! The Village Idiot of Crawford Texas was actually installed by the United States Supreme Court that year. And it is now perfectly clear that the Republicans were able to steal the key battleground states of Ohio and New Mexico in 2004. But in all honesty that's not much of an excuse. George W. Bush is such an incompetent fool, both of those elections should have been landslides for the Democrats. The fact that such a huge percentage of American voters are so rib-ticklingly out of touch with affairs of state that they actually thought that sending this fucking idiot to Washington for eight years was a good idea, shows the deplorable state of our national political dialogue.
I must share in some of that blame. You see, in 2000 I supported Ralph Nader for president. In the spring of that year, I left the democratic party, frustrated that they would nominate Al Gore over the far more qualified (at least I thought so at the time), Bill Bradley. I registered as a Green Party member and never looked back (OK, I take a peek now and then but that's it, I promise). I ran for NY state Senate in 2002, was handily defeated, got bored silly with the Greens and now I am nothing - A man without a party, so to speak. I guess you might call it my very own party of one. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to! You would cry too if it happened to you - Cha! Cha! Cha!
I now realize the error of my ways. In 2000, I should have known that the (much) lesser of two evils is always preferable an option than pure evil. (And please take note: When I use the term, "pure evil", I'm not being facetious. I use it with its absolute theological definition in mind).
So here's my little message to the rest of the planet: Listen, World, we're sorry, OK? On election days 2000 and 2004, we were drunk, alright? It was just one of those silly little accidents of history and we'll never do it again - Scout's honor!
It is now painfully obvious to everyone but the viewers of FOX News what the real agenda of the right-wing is and it's not a pretty picture: Military intimidation across the globe; The destruction of the middle class in this county; The subversion of the constitution....Not a pretty picture at all. We've got to put a stop to this madness and we will, World, we will! We as a nation are starting to wake up to the fact that the damage that this murderous little psychopath and the hideous bastards and bitches (Hi, Condi!) that comprise his administration have done to this planet is so immense, it will never be accurately accessed. It is incalculable.
So give us a little time, World. We'll fix this problem - Cross our hearts and hope to....Cross our hearts, we will! It will take a little time, true, but eventually we'll end this pathetic situation. Another election cycle should do the trick. Here's a vow, World: By the end of the summer of 2007, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney will be impeached, out of power and on their way to federal prison. I promise you that.
Pray for peace.