An International Embarrassment

Do you have any idea how the rest of the world views the train-wreck of American politics and politicians? We're a joke. We should change the words on the Seal of the United States from "E Plurbus Unum" to "Make 'em Laugh". It's gotten that pathetic.

"Newt Gingrich has already achieved the improbable effect of making Bob Dole look cuddly....When Gingrich started muttering about putting millions of children in orphanages to be raised by a government that he believes can't do anything right, some of my compatriots here on what passes for the left were chilled to the bone."

Molly Ivins
November 1994.

I miss Molly Ivins.

Last week in a piece that appeared on the Huffington Post, Robert Reich (photo left) chided Democrats who were giddy over the prospect of Newt Gingrich getting the nomination at the Republican National Convention this summer. He went on to imply that anybody who would hope for such a thing ought to have his or her head examined. As usual he makes a good point. Robert Reich has a pretty good track record when it comes to making good points, have you ever noticed that?

Part of me (the part that likes jumbo chocolate ice cream cones) is just giddy at the thought of Gingrich getting the nomination of that disgusting party. The other part of me (the part that understands that jumbo chocolate ice cream cones are not particularly good for me) is horrified by the idea.

Twelve years ago I was jumping for joy when the GOP gave their nomination to a half-wit from Crawford, Texas named George W. Bush. "He'll never win in the general election", I remember saying at the time. Turns out I was right. What I didn't realize was that the Bush Mob would be able to steal that election. Who's to say that Newt Gingrich won't be able to do the same thing in 2012? Think about it: All of the pieces (and people) are still in place that would allow history to repeat itself.

NOTE TO THE DEMOCRATS: Be careful what you wish for.

I imagine the that the whole question of a Gingrich candidacy is moot at this point. The Newtster has always had this unfortunate tendency of administering self-inflicted body-blows just as things are going his way. Last week he cheerfully lived up to his reputation. For your reading pleasure:

"By the end of my second term, we will have the first permanent base on the moon. And it will be American....when we have 13,000 Americans living on the moon they can petition to become a state."

Newt Gingrich
25 January 2012

Wonderful. He's against Puerto Rican and DC statehood but wants to add the lunar surface to the union. Ain't that a hoot? Ya gotta love the guy. Ya just gotta! Can you even imagine the roar of international laughter that would be heard if any American president was arrogant enough to claim the moon as sovereign US territory? Since that little gaffe last week, Gingrich's poll numbers in Florida have taken a bit of a dip as you might imagine. When your act gets even too weird for the Tea party crowd, it's probably a good idea to pack up and go home. But that's not Newt's style. He's in this for the long haul, baby. If he's going down in flames he's determined to bring his party (and Mitt Romney) down with him (Not that that would be a bad thing you understand). When all the dust has settled his speaking fees will be through the roof . A real class act that Newt.

With each passing day Mitt Romney appears more-and-more to be the guy who's going to bring home the big prize at this summer's convention, but you never know. 2012 is turning out to be such a peculiar political year - and it's barely begun. Here's Mitt's problem: The establishment Republicans know damned well that the "base" detests him, and that he's not likely to inspire them to come out en masse on Election day. Also Romney's citation of his Mexican/Cuban heritage in the most recent debate probably didn't do him one bit of good.. It will be just another reason why the half-witted "base" of that disgusting party will not be inspired to come out in droves for him on election day.

A "liberal" Massachusetts Mexican Mormon for president? I can almost hear the tea partiers quivering.

This might turn out to be the first convention in a century where the winner of the primary has the nomination denied to him. In 1912 the mantle of standard-bearer was seized from Theodore Roosevelt and handed over to William Howard Taft, leaving the GOP hopelessly split and leading to an easy victory for Democrat Woodrow Wilson. Might history repeat itself? I don't think that this scenario is as far fetched as you might imagine - or is this merely wishful thinking on my part? We shall see.

Tom Degan
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

SUGGESTED LISTENING:

Here is a link to listen to a recording of Theodore Roosevelt from a century ago, recorded during the campaign of 1912:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPXkVsiIasg&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL4BA44CD7D6EBA235

He's gone and he ain't coming back.

AFTERTHOUGHT:

Today is the one-hundred and thirtieth anniversary of the birth of Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Here is a link to three pieces I've written over the years regarding his endangered legacy:

http://tomdegan.blogspot.com/2007/09/franklin-d-roosevelts-endangered-legacy.html

http://tomdegan.blogspot.com/2009/03/weekend-at-frankllins.html

http://tomdegan.blogspot.com/2010/11/obama-can-learn-from-fdr.html

Happy birthday, Frankie D!!!

Newt's Family Values

It was the Newster all the way in South Carolina last night. This wasn't as big a surprise as you might think. Newt had spent the entire primary subtly pressing all of the right racial buttons and it worked out for him better than even he anticipated I'm sure. You see, South Carolina Republicans don't really care for black people that much. When you enter a place where the Confederate flag still waves proudly over the statehouse, you'll be encountering people with - "issues" shall we say? John McCain learned this lesson the hard way in 2000.

After handily winning in New Hampshire that year, McCain came into South Carolina with a healthy lead over the dim-witted son of a failed ex-president. The Bush Mob were not to be deterred. They spread the nasty rumor that McCain's adopted, dark-skinned daughter was the product of a liaison between him and a black prostitute. It worked. That's just the sort of thing that would work in that state I'm sorry to say. The momentum he had gained heading into the Super Tuesday Primary all-but-died and his campaign was toast from that moment on. Thanks to the stupidity and racism of the average South Carolinian Republican voter, America got saddled with the worst president since James Buchanan. Nice.

From this point on anything can happen - and probably will. Gingrich has an unfortunate tendency of going ballistic and flaming out just as things are beginning to look up for him, and I haven't a doubt in my mind that history will repeat itself very soon. It will probably be Mitt Romney who receives the coronation next summer - but I haven't given up hope for Newt. I want him to get that nomination so badly it makes me drool buckets! Can you imagine what fun his campaign would be to watch? Oh, please, fate!

It matters little at this stage who gets the nomination. It's a fairly safe assumption to say that the election of 2012 is essentially over. Are Romney and Gingrich secretly working for Barack Obama's campaign? That would seem to be the case given their behavior in recent days. They've done so much damage to one another (and their party) that his reelection in November is almost written in the stars.

Here's another thing to take to the bank, boys and girls: Romney (assuming he will be the nominee) will be placed in the same position that McCain was forced into in 2008. In order to bring out "the base" he will be forced to place on the ticket with him someone (like Sarah Palin) who is such a right wing extremist that he or she is in serious danger of falling off of the face of the earth. Remember how well that worked out for them last time 'round? As it did four years ago, the choice of running mate will scare the living shit out of moderate Americans. Just you wait and see.

Here are the Cliff Notes: The Republican party is imploding before our very eyes. Life is beautiful.

Which brings me back to the thrice-married Newt: In an eleventh-hour interview with Marianne (the second Mrs. Gingrich) in which she revealed that when she found out about Newt's affair with Barbi-doll-wannabe Callista (the third Mrs. Gingrich) Newt informed the poor gal that from that point on, he wanted their marriage to be an "open" one. Shortly after she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, Newt served Marianne with divorce papers - much in the same manner he had served the cancer-stricken Jackie (the first Mrs. Gingrich) with divorce papers a decade earlier. The day after he unloaded the bad news on her, Newt gave a speech highlighting the traditional values of American families.

Are you following this?

Newt's history as a serial marrier did didn't mean a thing to the "Family Values" mob in South Carolina, All that matters to these clowns is the fact that old Newt really despises that Big, Black, Bolshevik Boogieman in the White House. That's good enough for them. He told these nutty people that he didn't merely want to bloody Barack Obama's nose, he wanted to "knock him out". Bop the coon! He'd have done much better in the final tally had he just told this crowd that he was in the mood for a good old fashion lynching. String 'im up!!! That would have brought out the base alright - in droves.

But he did the next best thing. By constantly referring to "food stamps" and "welfare", Gingrich lassoed the imaginations of these jackasses and was able to paint a black face on nearly every issue. He knows that the only way the Republicans are going to take back the White House next January will be by appealing to the very worst in America's historical character - and Newt Gingrich is the world's outstanding authority on the subject of bad character. All he needs to do is exploit the irrational prejudice toward the most oppressed people in the history of the human race. And to do so under the guise that he has the Almighty on his side? My goodness. Hell must be beckoning.

If there's any doubt in your mind that 2012 is going to be the nastiest political year of our lifetime all I can tell you is, hang onto your hats, folks. This is gonna get ugly. Very ugly indeed. It might very well get violent in some places. This Tea party crowd has lost their minds. As Al Jolson liked to say in his day, "You ain't seen nothin' yet!"

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

SUGGESTED VIEWING/LISTENING:

This is a link to a tender little lullaby to the GOP that I came across during my meanderings through cyberspace:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=OE-8emw39fA

It really tugs at the old heartstrings, doesn't it?

Cheers!

I-Ronnie of I-Ronnies

"Where collective bargaining is forbidden, freedom is lost."

-Ronald Reagan

I'm almost at a loss for words. Who knows whether or not Reagan really meant what he was saying when he made the statement. My guess is that he did not. That utterance was made during the campaign of 1980. Candidates say a lot of things they don't really mean. Less than a year later when as president he fired the air traffic controllers, he pretty much hammered yet another nail into the coffin of collective bargaining in this country. Still, it speaks untold volumes that thirty-two years ago a Republican candidate could say such a thing and not lose an ounce of support from "the base". It also perfectly illustrates the devolution of "the party of Abraham Lincoln".

Thirty-one years ago this coming Friday, the American people sent to the White House a corrupt, feeble-minded, failed "B" movie actor. Do you wanna hear the punchline? The Republican party has sunk so deep into the ideological cesspool since January 20, 1981, Ronald Reagan is starting to look like Theodore Roosevelt! As Jack Parr was fond of saying in his day, "I kid you not."

Isn't life strange?

During Ronald Reagan's reign of error I was living in New York City. I was really into writing song parodies then. I would occasionally perform them on the guitar at a place I loved which was right around the corner from where I lived - Ye Olde Tripple Inn on West 54th Street - directly across from the fabled Studio 54, a place I never frequented. One of the songs I lampooned was called "And Nixon, I Miss You". It was sung to the tune of Bobby Goldboro's 1968 hit, the delightfully maudlin "Honey"

One time I thought that Richard Nixon's Presidency
was the worst thing possible
But that was many years ago
and nowadays that sentiment seems laughable
In nineteen-eighty somehow
the electorate coughed up a brain-dead movie star
I never had faith in the voters
but I never realized how dumb they are

And Nixon I miss you
and I'm feeling blue
I've lost all of my senses
I'm nostalgic for you

That was then. This is now.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way reformulating my opinion of Reagan or his presidency. As I've said too many times to count, the damage that the hideous old freak did to this once great nation is so immense it will never be accurately assessed. It is incalculable. After all, it was the insane policies of deregulation championed by Ronald Wilson Reagan that set us upon the road toward the economic mess we find ourselves in today. He told us he could increase spending, cut taxes and balance the budget - and that he would do it by 1982! Anyone with a remedial grasp of arithmetic knew what utter bullshit that was. The reason his successor George H.W. Bush was defeated in his reelection bid by an unknown named Bill Clinton was because he was forced to raise taxes ("revenue enhancers" he called them) in an attempt to clean up the mess he inherited from Reagan.

And I'm also not implying that I "miss" Ronald Reagan anymore than I was missing Richard Nixon when I wrote that parody in 1988. It's just that (Jeez Louise) the two of them are starting to look pretty good - at least when placed in comparison to the insanity junkies who now populate that disgusting party. Imagine that you're a kid who's just arrived home from kindergarten. You switch on the TV to find that Bozo the Clown has been replaced by the John Wayne Gacy Show. It's kinda the same thing.

And see the debt how big it's grown
But friends it hasn't been to long it wasn't big
In early nineteen-eighty one
The debt that's now a redwood tree was just a twig

What a difference three decades makes.

This is sheer speculation on my part but I imagine that even a dirty old dingbat like Ronnie would be horrified to see where the so-called "Reagan Revolution" has taken us. Then again maybe not. It was always hard to figure out where der Gipper was coming from. Even his own children couldn't figure the old bugger out. He was always an aloof and distant figure to them, even when he was present. I just learned something this morning that floored me. On the day his half-witted kid Michael was married, his dad and Nancy opted out of the festivities and went instead to Tricia Nixon's wedding at the White House! It makes one seriously wonder about the man's inner character.

When even some "liberals" are expressing a sense of teary-eyed nostalgia for the likes of Ronald Reagan, that's all the proof you need to understand that the political wheels have come of the planet. And the fact that a Casper Milquetoast moderate like Barack Obama is viewed by many as a left wing radical is further proof that the American people have lost their bearings - to put it as mildly as possible.

The fact of the matter is that the dead conservatives of another era - Barry Goldwater, Nixon and Reagan - could not get nominated to run as sewer inspectors in the current environment of the grand old party. At the end of his life Goldwater had turned his back on the right wing movement - a movement he helped bring into being when he was nominated by the Republicans at the convention of 1964. And remember, this was a man who in his day was known as "Mr. Conservative"! That speaks volumes, doesn't it? It's a good thing for Barry that he didn't live to see the Tea party - although I do wish Reagan had lived to see a black man in the White House. The very sight of Obama in the Oval Office would have given the old racist a fatal case of spastic apoplexy. That would have been oodles of fun to watch. Can you imagine?

Unless they succeed in stealing a whole lot of elections this November (Don't put it past them; they're working on it as I write these words) 2012 is not going to be a particularly good year for the Republican party. It's a fairly safe bet that the Democrats will be able to take back the House in spite of themselves. Not that I'm jumping with joy over that little prediction. The best that can be said of these present-day Dems is that they're not quite as incompetent as the GOP. Certainly they're not one/tenth as corrupt as them. We can only hope that the new batch of freshmen won't be in the pockets of corporate America. We can also pray they remember that they are in fact the party of Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Yeah, right.

Did you ever think you'd live to see the day when this once-great nation would be reduced to such a sorry and pathetic state? Hold onto your hats, kiddies! The worst is yet to come! Somewhere, Ronald Reagan must be laughing.

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

AFTERTHOUGHT:

This is a paragraph I wrote on this site about three years ago:

"What must be remembered is that Ronald Reagan was essentially a mask, with a twinkle in it's eye and a fine, Irish smile. Remove that mask and what is revealed is the twisted, hideous smirk of George W. Bush. That's the real face of the 'Reagan Revolution'".

For more of my thoughts on Ronald Reagan, here is a link to a little ditty I wrote almost a year ago on the occasion of the centennial of his birth:

http://www.tomdegan.blogspot.com/2011/02/ronnie-at-one-hundred.html

SUGGESTED VIEWING:

"Peace on Earth"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8stkqssLYc

In 1939, a group of writers and animators at Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer came together to produce this little gem. How it got past the eye of uber right winger Louis B. Mayer (head of the studio) is anybody's guess.

Pray for peace.

The 2012 Shoo-in - Maybe

Well over a year ago I predicted on this site that the religious bigots and crazy people who long ago hijacked the "the party of Abraham Lincoln" would never nominate Mormon Mitt Romney. "David Duke will be named head of the NAACP before that ever happens" I speculated at the time. It appears that I might be forced to eat a healthy dish of crow on the occasion of Mitt's victory in the New Hampshire Primary last night. This is not to imply that the half-witted "base" of that party are happy about what happened last evening. Anything but. Let me put it to you this way: The Republicans just got the news that they're pregnant and they're trying to fall in love as rapidly as possible.

Yes, with the honorable exception of Jon Huntsman, the most impressive GOP candidate to come along since Teddy Roosevelt a century ago, the contenders for the nomination were just too bat-shit crazy for even the right wing to stomach. That takes some doing.

Although the polls show Romney with a healthy edge in the South Carolina primary on January 21, it is by no means a done deal. Anything can happen in that state and usually does. John McCain learned that lesson the hard way in 2000. At this moment, the Gingrich campaign is bombarding the palmetto state with an anti-Romney propaganda blitzkrieg so fierce it's liable to take a heavy toll. Whether or not it will prove fatal is open for speculation.

Which brings me to the nasty subject of Newt Gingrich. He will probably save the Obama campaign a million or more in advertising this year by making the case for them why Mitt Romney should never be sent to the White House. The Republican "cause" - such as it is - means not a damned thing to him. He can't be so delusional that he honestly believes that he'll ever be president. His is a scorched earth, take-no-prisoners policy. The only thing that matters to Newt is Newt. If he has to bring the Republican party down in flames with him, so be it. GO FOR IT, NEWT!

"I love firing people"

-Mitt Romney
New Hampshire primary, 9 January 2012

That little Freudian slip didn't do him much good. As someone pointed out recently, Mitt Romney doesn't "create" jobs. He cremates them. The jolly good work he did for Bain Capital all those years ago by buying up companies and liquidating them - throwing thousands of people out of work in the process - will surely come back to haunt him when he faces President Obama in the general election. It was a very telling - albeit unfortunate - choice of words. It is what defines Mitt and his party. It's all about making the largest amount of profit for the smallest number of people. Who gives a shit if their policies wreck havoc over the social landscape of the nation? Money is everything. Chris Matthews has compared him to the Gordon Gekko character played by Michael Douglas in the film "Wall Street". It's an apt comparison to be sure. Greed is very good indeed to these clowns.

Assuming he will be the 2012 nominee, Romney has a few hurdles to overcome. Let's face some uncomfortable facts here, campers; even his own people can't stand him. He doesn't come off as the most sincere guy - and that's being generous. In fact he's the most superficial candidate who ever sought the office. He reminds a few people of the host of some lame, 1970's game show. He's not likely to inspire "the base" to show up at the polls en masse. Not only is his religion a hindrance, but there's also the fact that this former governor of "Taxachusetts" is seen by these knuckleheads as the worst kind of bleeding heart liberal. Isn't that a hoot? And you wonder why I get such a kick out of politics.

But it's not as if Barack Obama himself doesn't have an uphill fight to deal with. His position at the moment is envious despite the economic mess - which he inherited. His problem is that the Governors and legislators of Republican-controlled states all over the country have been passing unconstitutional laws that will make it nearly impossible for the people who tend to vote Democratic to pass their ballots in November. Their reason is the non-existent plague of voter fraud. Although I'm placing my money on Obama, I'm certainly not going to bet the farm on him.

The president also has the problem of the Democratic base to deal with. He's been a huge disappointment in too many areas to count. I can understand the frustration people are feeling. I would only hope that traditional Democratic voters will remember that the alternatives to Obama are just too depressing to even think about. Maybe in a second term he'll start behaving like a real progressive. Maybe.

This much is certain: 2012 will be the most interesting political year of our lifetimes. To paraphrase Pete Townsend:

"Gotta feeling 2012 is gonna be a weird year."

Indeed it will be. Fasten your seat belts.

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

SUGGESTED VIEWING

Paris at Midnight
a Film by Woody Allen

If you love Woody Allen you'll love his new film, just out on DVD. If you don't, you won't. That's the curious thing about Woody. There seems to be no middle ground.

And the winner is - Santoromney?

Look! Up in the sky! It's Mitt! It's Rick! NO! IT'S SANTOROMNEY!!!

So Mitt Romney is pleased as punch after beating Rick Santorum in the Iowa caucuses by a mere eight votes, huh? Mitt's jubilation needs to be placed in check. To end up in a virtual tie with a basket case like poor old Rick is an ominous portent of things to come I'm afraid. With the South Carolina primaries just around the corner, Willard Mitt should be getting fat with worry. And who would blame him? The jackasses in that state who identify themselves as "Republicans" are so out-of-touch with fundamental reality, they perceive a conservative hack like Mitt as a radical left-winger. And you wonder why I get such a kick out of politics? Life is beautiful.

FLASH! THE MIDWEST IS THE NEW DEEP SOUTH!

Another example of the spreading intellectual rot of the United States of America; a country which at one time (Hold onto your hats, generation Xers!) was the best place in the world in which to live. It's not anymore. It ain't even close. Still, we do have the best reality shows on the planet. Stand proud, America!

It boggles the senses that so many voters in the Hawkeye State would have bothered to venture out in the freezing weather to vote for any of these clowns. Their sense of civic responsibility truly astounds. If I had my way, the first caucus would be held in Wisconsin. Those folks have awakened to what is being done to the working people of this country. Iowans obviously haven't a clue.

I fail to understand the importance that is being given to the Iowa caucuses. Does anyone seriously believe that a relatively isolated state near the center of the country is a microcosm of American ideals and political opinion? Or that the people who live there - a lot of whom are just-a-tad reactionary, uninformed and out of touch - are an indication of who the nominee will be? With regard to the Republican caucus, Iowa has a fairly reliable history of getting it wrong. I strongly suspect that the "momentum" that Mitt 'n' Rick will be receiving out of their "victories" won't amount to a hill of garbanzo beans in the long run.

"I don't want to make black people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money. I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money."

Rick Santorum
Sioux City, Iowa
January 1, 2012

Ohhh, Lawdy! Lawdy! Thank you, massah!

Ah, Rick! What an asshole. That a halfwit like Rick Santorum can go as far as he's gone proves only that this really is a white man's world. It also shows a Herculean act of desperation on his part to play the race card in Iowa of all places - a state with fewer African Americans than any other in the union - about two percent. Take that moronically insensitive comment as a sneak preview of what's in store for us as the Hilarious Campaign of 2012 gets underway. No doubt about it, kids, this is gonna get ugly. You don't want a front row seat for this fight; it's liable to get a bit messy. The mezzanine is your best bet.

The right wing wants to take back 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue so badly, nothing's going to stand in their way, not even common decency. They can't win on the basis of their ideas because those ideas are beyond reprehensible. The only chance they have is by appealing to the darkest dysfunction in white America's tormented soul: its irrational fear of the dreaded KNEE-GROW. The Republican governors of thirty-four states are now in the process of "legally" denying them the vote by mandating that they purchase voter ID's. This is what is known as a "poll tax" - and it was ruled unconstitutional almost a half-century ago. Oh, yeah, this is gonna get very ugly indeed.

PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE:

No race of people in the history of this country have suffered more - and with less good reason - than have our fellow citizens of African heritage. I would imagine that there is a special place in hell for any politician who would exploit white America's paranoia simply for political gain.

NOTE TO THE GOP: Knock it off.

If you had any doubt that the Roberts Court's obscene Citizens United ruling of two years ago might seriously harm our republic, those doubts should have been dispelled in Iowa. I never thought I would live to see the day when I would feel a tinge of sympathy for the likes of Newt Gingrich but - so help me Mitch Miller - that day has come. For the past week Romney's super-secret, political action committee has bombarded the Iowan airwaves with anti-Newt propaganda. Gingrich's popularity, which had been rising in recent weeks, crumbled amid the onslaught. We don't know who paid for those ads. We may never know. The court of John Roberts has seen to that.

So it's off to New Hampshire and South Carolina. I must admit to you that I'm feelin' just a little blue at the moment. None of the candidates I was praying for (the bat-shit crazy ones) will be getting the nomination. Herman Cain is gone and forgotten. Rick Perry has headed home to Texas to "think things over". Maybe he'll be back. Maybe not.

Ron Paul's campaign is still in full-tilt-boogie mode. It has recently been revealed that in the eighties, the congressman was responsible for some perfectly hideous, racist newsletters. I find it quite interesting that his opponents for the GOP nod are using every issue they can think of to bring him down a notch or two - every issue but that one. It's not too difficult to figure out the reason for this. Ron Paul is a reactionary racist? That would make him VERY appealing to the knuckleheads who constitute the "base" of that disgusting party. Can't have that, can we.

Just an hour ago as of this writing Michele Bachmann announced that she will be "suspending" her campaign. She has seen the writing on the wall I suppose. At some of her appearances over the weekend, the crowd numbers were in the single digits. And she was born in Iowa! This is a real let-down. I was pinning my hopes on her candidacy more than anyone's. Can you imagine what a scream her campaign might have been? Alas, it was never meant to be. I'm gonna miss Michele like nobody's business. All of that sweet, accidental humor is now ashes to the wind. I wonder what the future holds in store for her. FOX Noise? Dancing with the Stars? Reality TV? I can see her hosting a game show: The Price is Reich.

It's time to wind up the masquerade
Just make your mind up, the piper must be paid
The party's over; it's all over, my friend....

My male friends have always been puzzled by my indifference to sports. This is true. I can probably count on the fingers of one hand the number of articles in the sports pages that I have read in my life. It is also a sad indicator that, as a political writer, I'll never be considered Hall of Fame material. The great ones - every single one of them - were all stone-cold sports fans. But what good is sports when compared to the incredible spectacle that comes only once every four years - the race to the White House??? No contest comes close to it in terms of a pure adrenaline rush. None.

So let the 2012 Republican Clown Car Race-to-the-Bottom begin. Gentlemen, start your rhetoric.

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

SUGGESTED READING:

Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72
by Hunter Thompson

The Boys on the Bus
by Timothy Crouse

Thompson and Crouse were both correspondents for Rolling Stone Magazine during the McGovern/Nixon race of 1972. Their respective memoirs of that campaign are essential reading for any self-respecting political junkie. I'm happy to say that both books are still in print.

AFTERTHOUGHT:

Rick Perry has just announced that he will be entering the South Carolina primary. YES!!!

2011: The Worst of The Rant

Ring out the false; ring in the true
Ring out the old; ring in the new

-George Harrison

Heavens to Betsy! Can it possibly be? Another year come and gone??? Well, goodness gracious me! Time certainly flies when you're trying to save the world, ya know? And speaking of time; it's time once again for another annual recap of the Worst of The Rant. Happy reading, campers!

January 4:
Tomorrow marks the start of the One-hundred and Twelfth Congress. For a person who makes his or her name and livelihood by commenting on the ineptitude and corruption of American politicians, this is indeed wonderful news. We are beside ourselves with giddy anticipation. For regular working people, however - particularly those hardest hit by the economic catastrophe we currently find ourselves in - this bit of news is as nasty as can be. PREDICTION: You thought the One-hundred and Eleventh Congress was beyond awful? OH, BROTHER! This one will be remembered as the worst in history. Anyone care to make a little wager on this point? I'm taking on all comers.

[12/30/11: My goodness! I nailed that one, did I not?]

January 10:
The extremism of [November 22] 1963 was pretty much isolated to a few southern cities. Forty-eight years later it's gone national. What happened in Arizona over the weekend [the shooting of Congresswoman Gabby Giffords] is only the beginning. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but America's political discourse has been hijacked by half-wits and crazy people. Their spokespersons make their names by inflaming their clueless masses with the language of hate. That's their job. Then again, I'm not giving away any state secrets here, am I?

January 20:
I can still remember what my father was wearing when he told me, "The president's been shot." He had just pulled in the driveway and had the car radio on. I was arriving home from Mrs. Peevey's kindergarten class. I distinctly recall that, despite it being late into the autumn, it was an unseasonably warm day. Something wonderful ended on November 22, 1963 - not just John F. Kennedy's life - but America's youthful optimism as well. I don't believe this country ever got over the assassination of President Kennedy. Maybe it will one day. Maybe not.

January 25:
Since the demolition of the Fairness Doctrine thirty years ago, the progressive point-of-view on America's airwaves has diminished to the point that it's now almost non-existent. For every Thom Hartmann you have at least twenty Rush Limbaughs. It's a dire situation that is getting worse with each passing year. And it wasn't exactly a spirit-lifter when Air America failed a couple of years ago. The people's airwaves have been stolen by the plutocracy, and they don't plan on giving it back. Take it back.

January 31
Much of the blame for the "scourge" of Michele Bachmann must be laid at the door of Chris Matthews. I love the man. He is just about the smartest son-of-a-bitch commenting on politics today. But I really have to chide him for "discovering" her. Ms. Bachmann was a deservedly unknown congresswoman in October 2009 when he invited her on his program "Hardball" for an interview. It was there that she called for an investigation of all the Democrats in congress for their "un-Americanism". Under normal circumstances such an idiotic statement would have hurled her right back into obscurity. Instead, the GOP made her a star. Life is funny that way, you know?

February 6:
On February 6, 1911, one-hundred years ago today, Ronald Wilson Reagan was born in Tampico, Illinois. Unlike most of the country however, I won't be spending this day looking back on his presidency with any degree of nostalgia - trust me. I'm not celebrating the life of Ronald Reagan. I hold the hideous old bastard in complete and utter contempt.

February 17:
Could this be the beginning of a revolution that might spread nationwide? I'm hopeful. Unlike the clueless tea party types, the good people of the state of Wisconsin realize that the blame for the problem lies not with those naughty, bleeding heart Liberals, but with the plutocrats and greed heads who long ago hijacked not only our government, but both political parties - including the one that Lincoln helped found in 1856. Bob Dylan once said, "A hard rain's gonna fall." Indeed. I hope you have an umbrella at the ready. The shit storm has arrived.

February 28:
There is a certain kind of schadenfreude that comes with seeing a people getting exactly what they deserve, and I imagine that I'm going to love every minute of it. It's also a much better thing to come to terms with the shit storm that is just around the corner than to delude oneself into believing that some nameless secular messiah is going to lead us all to the beloved Candy Land of our fantasies. A lot of us (myself included) made that mistake with Barack Obama and our hopes exploded right in our faces. It's almost like anticipating that knock-knock-knocking sound to be Winston Churchill - only to open the door to find Neville Chamberlain standing there - utterly clueless and befuddled. And unless Obama is challenged in the primaries by the ghost of Eleanor Roosevelt, I'm afraid we're stuck with him.

March 11:
It will be recorded [of Wisconsin governor Scott Walker] that no other single human being was more responsible than he for inspiring the people to finally rise up and revolt against the economic injustices they had been suffering under for over three decades. When Walker and the GOP legislators in the Wisconsin State House illegally signed away the collective bargaining rights of union workers, did they really believe that that would be the end of it?

Like it or not, the Madison Revolution is here. Get the fuck out of the way.

March 16:
Newt Gingrich is one of those "lowest common denominator" politician­s that litter the pages of American history. Like old Joe McCarthy, he is unable to appeal to the best in his fellow Americans because there is not a heck of a lot of substance there. But all that aside, Newt wants to be the next president of the United States so badly he can hardly contain himself. He's hell-bent on seizing the nomination at the GOP convention in 2012 - and nothing and NOBODY is going to get in his way. This is gonna be good!

April 5:
I hate to be seen as a cheerleader for the Democrats, I really do. I often feel like I'm in a restaurant and the waiter is asking me, "Would you like a nice cool glass of donkey piss to wash down that juicy plate of elephant shit you've ordered, sir?" Our choices these days are sparse - no question about it. But when everything has been sliced and diced, I feel that am left with no choice but to side with the Dems. The alternatives are too depressing too even think about. "Stick with Tweedle-dee", I tell myself, "Tweedle-dum is brain-damaged." He's also a bit of a pervert.

May 19:
I'm going to do something I've never done before (and will never do again - I promise!) I'm going to say something in favor of Adolf Hitler and the Nazis: When they took power in March of 1933, they at least didn't fuck with the electoral process. Hitler's ascendance to power was achieved legally and in conformity to the German constitution as it stood at the time. That's right; I'm comparing the Nazis favorably to the Republican party. Things have gotten that weird.

May 24:
I've been thinking a lot about Ronald Reagan lately. Less than two weeks from now will mark the sixth anniversary of his passing. Six years! Can it possibly be? I'm sorry he's no longer here. I wish he could have lived to see the presidency of Barack Obama. I really do. The sight of a black man in the Oval Office would have given the old bugger a severe case of spastic apoplexy or maybe worse. That would have been so much fun to watch.

May 31:
Let us face some serious and undeniable facts here. A politician as deliciously sleazy as the Newtster should be cherished - if only for the scads of unintentional comedy his very presence in the national limelight inspires. As you might imagine, I have been following Newt's presidential campaign - or what's left of it - with a longing I'm hard-pressed to describe. I soooo wanted him to get the GOP nomination in 2012 I could almost taste it. I was even contemplating sending the hideous old freak a check. I might as well not waste my money. It's very clear to everyone (except Gingrich of course) that he's not going to get his party's nod next year - or any year for that matter.

June 20
By privatizing the American prison system these assholes have created a brand-spanking-new corporate class whose very existence will depend upon those prisons being filled to the rafters with human beings - FOREVER! As a result the owners will send lobbyists to Washington, who will then bribe our representatives into passing more-and-more punitive laws that will ensure that those prisons are booked to capacity. How will they make a profit? Forced industrial labor - which will be just another drain on American jobs. Think about that: Forced labor. It's something that was officially terminated in this nation one-hundred and forty-six years ago. It was called "slavery". Remember that "peculiar institution"?

Mah! Mah! The ol' plantation sho has changed!

June 28:
In the meantime the Republicans in Congress are doing everything humanly possible to ensure that the economy crashes. That is the reason - and the only reason - they are trying to prevent the raising of the debt ceiling in August. If America goes into default the proverbial shit will hit the economic fan. When that happens, all bets are off for the president. Their goal is to bring on an economic catastrophe in order to take back the executive and legislative branches of your government on January 20, 2013. That is what human slime like Eric Cantor, Mitch McConnell and John Boehner are banking on. Our livelihood and well being doesn't matter in the least to these bastards. Wake up.

July 7:
The right wing has been in serious denial throughout its long and weird history (You may recall the "peculiar institution" of slavery). Modern times are no different for these freaks. Here's what they need to (but won't) understand: America's financial affairs are in shambles. There is only one way out of the hole we have dug for ourselves - and it's going to involve taxes: Decades of SERIOUS taxation. The people who benefited the most from the thirty-year financial drunk - the Plutocracy - will be the ones who will have to bear the burden of the shovel. And that will mean bringing the tax rates for the richest two-percent back to where they during the Eisenhower era when many of them were in a ninety percent bracket. That is the only way out. Deal with it.

July 14:
I have been desperately trying to write a poem about the train wreck that Rupert Murdoch's life has become but I've run into a bit of a brick wall. Please, could somebody give me a word that rhymes with schadenfreude?

July 21:
The Republican party is at this very moment mounting a campaign that, if successful, will disenfranchise the the voting rights of African Americans - and everyone else who tends to vote left-of-center - all across America. Isn't that sweet? They understand all-too-well that the mysterious and unknowable segment of the population that the sociologists describe as "moderate" or "swing voters" (I call them "purple agitators" myself) are starting to become disgusted by the extremists who hijacked the Grand Old Party decades ago. What to do? Not to worry! Just bypass that nasty ol' Voting Rights Act of 1965. That'll learn 'em!

July 28:
The problem with the Republicans is that they have forgotten that they are the party of Roosevelt - Theodore.

The problem with the Democrats is that they have forgotten that they are the party of Roosevelt - Franklin D.

August 2:
The Tea party owns Washington DC. This radical, right-wing fringe group now sets the agenda for this country, isn't that a scream? Mike Lupica put it well in yesterday's New York Daily News: "These are the crackpots who have designated themselves to speak for Conservative America. Only they don't act like conservatives. They act like anarchists." I can relate. I never dreamed I would live to see the day when I would feel a sense of tender nostalgia for Alan Simpson. These surely are interesting times to live in.

August 10:
In the meantime our downward spiral will only continue. This is as it should be. A people moronic enough to squander the treasure of their once-great nation as they have been doing for the past thirty-one years deserves everything that happens to them. There is an indescribable joy - call it "schadenfreude" if you must - in watching people who are losing their homes and pensions while simultaneously complaining about "those goddamned liberals". It's quite a funny thing to witness. As America continues to slide into the depths of destruction and despair, I can console myself with the knowledge that there will be no shortage of entertainment value in its decline - for me at least. Life will still be beautiful, thank you very much.

August 22:
According to these plutocratic handmaidens, the tax code simply isn't fair. People who live at or below the poverty level have to start chipping in! A family of four making $22,000 a year (or less) will have to shell out to the feds. Can you believe that? Think about it: That single mother who barely scratches out a living assembling Big Macs at the McDonald's down the street? If these hideous bastards and bitches have their way, she will now have to send a check (assuming she has a checking account) to the IRS every April 15. Of course that will mean she and others in her income bracket will have a lot less money to pump back into this already-feeble economy - a fact that apparently has not been taken into consideration by the knuckleheads who govern us.

And they call us "elitists"!

August 31:
Dick Cheney is back with his "long awaited memoirs". Awaited by whom they won't say. I won't be reading it. I've read enough about it and heard enough about it (primarily from the Dickster's own mouth) to form my own assessment of the drivel spread generously within. In fact I won't be reading any of the flood of books that have been written, are being written, and will be written by the Bush Mob. It's always an amusing thing to watch these bitter, dirty old men attempt to cleanup their putrid little corners in the Hall of Infamy. Robert McNamara tried it fourteen years ago and it didn't work out too well for him. Cheney will fare no better I suspect. What he is attempting here is the equivalent of putting a smiley face on a decomposing pig:

"Well lookie thar, Martha! Ain't that purdy?"

September 15:
Two debates in the space of five days? Somebody up there must like me. In the midst of the first one I asked myself out loud, "Am I hallucinating this?" I wasn't. This was very real indeed. Thanks to the miracle of modern technology I was able to record both spectacles onto DVD for posterity. Looking at them again last evening was not the ordeal you might imagine. To the contrary it was loads of fun to watch! Unintentional comedy always is - and these twits are the Marx Brothers of unintentional comedy.

September 21:
Here's a little something you can bet the farm on. The next thirteen months will see the right wing beside themselves as they scramble - like sadistic little mice - to change the topic of discussion from that of economic fairness, to the subject of that BIG, BLACK, BOLSHEVIK BOOGIEMAN in the Oval Office. They won't be able to take back the senate and the White House - nor will they be able to retain control of the House of Reprehensibles - without exploiting the worst racist tendencies deep within America's tormented soul. That is their biggest hope. That is their only hope. 2012 might very well turn out to be a most interesting political year. Talk about understatement!

In addition to playing the race card, it's a fairly easy guess that they'll drag out their moth-eaten bag of "family values" for good measure, as hard as that argument is for many of us to swallow these days. The Republicans don't give a shit about American families - or the families who gross somewhere under a million per. This is a party that cares about one thing only - that the obscenely rich get obscenely richer. To hell with the rest of you.

October 1:
Since the voters of this country foolishly handed over the reins of executive power to a feeble-minded, failed "B" movie actor a generation ago, the rape and plunder of America's financial infrastructure has been going on at full speed. Politicians of both parties rigged the laws in order to make the theft perfectly legal. That mournful chiming that is now emanating from deep within Wall Street is the death knell of the orgy that the plutocrats thought would never end. Americans are taking their country and their economy back.

October 12:
Here is a question that I am hard-pressed to avoid: Is there a bigger asshole slithering though the halls of congress than Eric Cantor? If there is I'd sure-as-hell would like to know about it. It has always amused me to watch him on the tube trying to defend the morally indefensible. He always has this weird look of cherubic contentment on his clueless face. It really is something to behold. To the credit of Mitch "The Plutocracy's Bitch" McConnell, he at least has the decency to look somewhat ill-at-ease when having to vomit forth their nonsensical talking points . Cantor, on the other hand, is right at home with their delightfully twisted agenda. Too weird!

October 15:
If the next president is a Republican and is able to make one or (God forbid) more appointments to [the Supreme] court, it will ultimately lead to the end of democracy in America. Does that sound a tad paranoid on my part? Maybe it is. Let's all vote Republican next year and see what happens.

October 21:

Folks, that is not a political party. That's an organized criminal enterprise. Those aren't statesmen. Those are the plutocracy's hired goons. This isn't America any longer. This is something else entirely; something dark and ominous. That's why what is happening down on Wall Street - indeed all across the land - is so important. We are now into the second month of the occupation. It won't be going away any time soon. This is only the beginning of something really, really big, baby! A hard rain's a'gonna fall. Forgive me if I seem giddy.

November 20:
When people have been subjected over long periods to injustice, it's only a matter of time before they revolt. Revolution is not something that can be swept away by think tanks or police riots. It's a bit more complicated than that. Revolution-in-reaction-to-human-cruelty is as natural as the sun rising in the eastern sky. All the king's pepper spray and all the king's soldiers can't stop a rising sun either. Try it sometime.

November 29:
Yeah, I'll fess up - I get awfully sentimental when it comes to the subject of the Beatles. On the night George died I remember pouring my heart out over the telephone to my friend Terri Sager. I admire her patience. She listened gently while I waxed inebriate on the news of his passing, and what a drag it was that two of the Beatles were now dead, and how this was possibly the end of the world, and blah blah blah....But it moves me to realize that today the two survivors are elderly men, and that eternity is now beckoning them. When I was a boy, John, Paul, George and Ringo were the undisputed princes of the planet earth. They seemed to be invincible. The passing of the decades reminds us that the Beatles were as frail in their mortality as any of us. They really were a bit like you and me.

December 15:
I am the person of the year. So are you.

You don't have to be down in Zuccotti Park. You don't have to be on the streets of Oakland, California or Madison, Wisconsin or Austin, Texas or South Bend, Indiana. You won't have to be out in Ulme Park in Poughkeepsie, NY this afternoon at 4 PM in order to be a part of this movement. That's why the worldwide Occupy movement is so frightening, not only to the corporate media, but to our "rulers" as well. Jello Biafra is the former lead singer of the legendary political punk band The Dead Kennedys. He is today a lecturer who has released a number of spoken-word CD's on his Alternative Tentacles record label . Ten years ago, in a statement that is truly sunning in hindsight, he advised us, "Don't criticize the media, become the media!" A decade ago his words left some of us scratching our clueless heads. Today we know what he was talking about. We are the media. The revolution is being televised!

Thank you, Steve Jobs.

December 21:
Was Iraq worse than Vietnam as some have implied? Certainly not in terms of lives lost, thank goodness. But in terms of the damage done to our economy and infrastructure, Iraq clearly wins out. Also we need to be reminded that Vietnam only gradually evolved into the quagmire it eventually became. In the case of Iraq America stupidly dove headfirst and smiling - eyes wide open - into the muck. For the first time in history, taxes on the rich were actually lowered during a time of war. Saddam Hussein was going to destroy us we were led to believe. It was a lie of course. We destroyed ourselves quite handily thank you very much. We didn't need Saddam Hussein.

December 25:
Keep your eyes wide-open for the miracles all around you. And remember the simple truth that there is more music to be found in the laughter of a single child than can be found in all of the symphonies ever composed by all of the composers who ever lived.

*******************

But now the days are short
We're in the winter of the years
And now I think of this place
As Wonder Bread turned green from mold
To rocks from gold
We were gripped by fear
It was a very weird year....

Whew! And what a year that was, huh? Do you think that the next year will not possibly get any weirder than the one which is now mercifully ending? I wouldn't take that bet for anything.

Happy New Year, everybody!

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

SUGGESTED VIEWING/LISTENING:

Ding Dong! Ding Dong!
by George Harrison

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJR44H48POo

Like George says, "Ring out the old, ring in the new!"

And finally, here is a little seasonal treat for you, It's my all-time favorite Popeye cartoon:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI0gH-W0dQw

Let's Celebrake!

The Obama Family's Commie Christmas

Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel's voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born

What a disgusting sight on oh-so-holy a night. The Photograph at the top of this piece is from the Obama family's Christmas card. Aren't you positively revolted by this sickening image of Bo the cowardly Kenyan/Communist Canine desecrating the floor of the house where the sainted Ronald Reagan once lived? You're not? That's okay, I didn't think you would be. I wasn't either. I was just pulling your leg!

Whatever your political persuasion, it would be kind of hard to find fault with the tranquil scene depicted above. And yet, predictably, the right wing scream machine went into full-tilt, freak out mode the moment they had their first look at it. Sarah Palin was just beside herself on FOX Noise. They all were! No mention of Jesus. No mention of Christmas. Just a picture of their mangy pooch snoozing away by the fireplace. Our gal Sarah called the photo "strange". It's Christmas day. I'll refrain from calling the woman an idiot. T'is the season, you know what I mean?

I don't get it. As much as I despised the administration of George W. Bush, it never even occurred to be to find a molecule of fault with any of the eight Christmas cards he sent to the American people during the eight Christmases he occupied the Executive Mansion. That would have been quite foolish - not to mention a tad petty on my part. One of the Bush family cards was a sketch of the White House that depicted a bunch of Scotch Terriers frolicking in the snow on the south lawn. There was no mention of Christ or Christmas in that card either. The right wingers didn't make a peep at the time. That was then. This is now.

Having gotten that little bit of stupidity off of my chest....

Let me savor this moment to wish all of you - left, right or center - a happy Christmas/Holiday season. Another year over and a new one's just begun. To tell you the truth, I just haven't the "Christmas spirit" this year. There are a number of reasons for this, the most obvious one being the deplorable state of the country I love more than any other on earth. Since I have nothing upbeat and optimistic to leave you with in 2011, I'll close with something I wrote four-years-ago on Christmas Day 2007:

Keep your eyes wide-open for the miracles all around you. And remember the simple truth that there is more music to be found in the laughter of a single child than can be found in all of the symphonies ever composed by all of the composers who ever lived.

Much better. I never wish anyone a "merry" Christmas. Drunks and drug addicts are often quite merry, but they're seldom - if ever - "happy". Happy Christmas, one and all!

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

SUGGESTED READING:

The Christmas Box
by Richard Paul Evans

SUGGESTED VIEWING/LISTENING:

Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy
by Bing Crosby and David Bowie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCQwwCRiDZQ

This is Bing Crosby and David Bowie in a duet from Bing's 1977 Christmas show. We see Crosby at the very end. Less than two weeks after this segment was taped, he collapsed and died on a Madrid golf course of a massive heart attack. He was seventy-four. The program aired posthumously.