Friday, May 31, 2013

Bye-Bye, Bird Brain

"You want to laugh, but don't, because the secret of Michele Bachmann's success is that every time you laugh at her, she gets stronger."

Matt Taibbi
Rolling Stone Magazine

I'm sorry, Taibbi, but I just can't help it.

Piggin' out with Dubya
She's leaving. What shall I do? What shall I do? Those of us who make our names commenting on the utter catastrophe that American politics has become in the last quarter century will need to make some serious adjustments. Our lives will become a bit more difficult come January - just a bit, mind you. We won't have Michele Bachmann to kick around anymore. This is going to take some getting used to. I am consoled by the fact that there are still hundreds half-witted neanderthals polluting the halls of congress who will continue to make our lives a joy. And then there's good old Ted Cruz! He'll always be good copy - no doubt about it. Ah, but that Michele....she is unique: The Buster Keaton of unintentional comedians. Damn you, fate! My life just won't be the same without her. [SIGH]

We should thank the great Chris Matthews for the scourge of Bachmann. It was an appearance she made in October 2009 on his MSNBC program, Hardball, which shot this silly dingbat into the political stratosphere. On this particular installment she told Matthews that every Democrat in Washington should be investigated for his or her "un-American" views. I was watching this spectacle on the  five o'clock broadcast in wide-eyed wonderment. I tuned in again to the 7 PM rebroadcast just to assure myself that I hadn't been hallucinating. I hadn't been.

In normal times such an idiotic statement would have hurled this moronic woman right back into well-deserved obscurity. Instead the Republican party turned her into a national superstar. Aren't politics a scream?

Everyone has a gift of some sort. People are gifted in different ways. Michele Bachman was born with the gift of idiocy. She is the Queen of Gaffes. Consider, if you will, this choice humdinger:

"We know there was slavery that was still tolerated when the nation began. We know that was an evil, and it was a scourge and a blot and a stain upon our history. But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States. And I think it is high time that we recognize the contribution of our forebears who worked tirelessly - men like John Quincy Adams - who would not rest until slavery was extinguished in the country." `
John Quincy Adams
What rankles me more than anything is how these right-wingers tend to be completely ignorant of the history of the country they claim to love a lot more than the rest of us. First of all, John Quincy Adams was not one of the Founding Fathers. Although who among us can take issue with her claim that he "would not rest until slavery was extinguished"? On January 31, 1865 when the Thirteenth Amendment which outlawed slavery forever was made the law of the land, Adams was resting quite comfortably indeed. He had been dead for eighteen years.

In announcing her decision not to seek a fifth term in congress next year, Michele produced an eight-and-a-half minute video which was posted on her website. She now claims that she has a new-found respect for the concept of term limits. If eight years is good enough for a president of the United States, well then - gosh darn it - it's good enough for her. She assures us that it's just a coincidence that her campaign finances are being investigated by the FBI. That nasty little reality has nothing to do with her desire to skip town. How noble.

The fact that even the nitwits of Minnesota's Sixth District who sent her to Washington in the first place are now embarrassed by her had nothing to do with her decision either. She still plans on fighting the good fight against those liberal heathen (like yours truly) who are conspiring to turn this grand and glorious land of ours into a place that the Founding Fathers "would not recognize". She tells us that her "talents" (such as they are) would be put to better use outside of Washington. Bullshit. Like Sarah Palin before her, she saw the writing on the wall - and it's covered in dollar signs. There's a buck to be made, many millions of them in fact - and this greedy bitch has every intention of exploiting all of the juicy possibilities. As Zero Mostel said in the role of Max Bialystok from the 1968 film, The Producers:


Is she planning on a well-paying gig on Fox Noise? I think she's in for a bit of a disappointment if that is the case. As low as the standards are over at Fox, I can't imagine in my wildest dreams that even they would humiliate themselves with a "Michele Bachmann Show". The bar just doesn't get that low. Perhaps an AM radio show would sell in the deep south. As the existence of Michael "Savage" Wiener proves, AM has no standards whatsoever. She can also make a killing in personal appearances. The jackasses in the Tea Party are still crazy about her after all these years. Actually that statement is just a tad misleading: As we all know by now - with or without Michele - they're just crazy period

Fucking clueless
Washington will be a bit less weird when she heads off into the sunset in January of 2015, which is a good thing - for your purposes - not for mine. Michele is the gift that keeps giving. She won't be going away from the national stage, you can count on that. But one can't blame her for wanting to leave DC. As the District of You-Know-Where gets nuttier by the hour it's difficult for a real media whore to stand out. As bat-shit-crazy as this Congresswoman undeniably is, she's got some serious competition. Insanity junkies are a dime a dozen in Washington these days. The time has come for our gal to strike out on her own. Service to the people doesn't mean a goddamned thing to the likes of Michele Bachmann.

A tip of the hat and a raising of the glass to her. She claims that she's here to stay and I'll take her at her word. She and Fascist Barbie from Wasilla, Alaska - in fact the entire Tea Party movement - have always been oodles of fun to observe - not unlike a boxcar packed with clowns that has derailed and overturned at a highway train crossing. It's been quite amusing (to say the least) watching them destroy what at one time was the political house of Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt. When the damage is complete - as it will be in a few short years - she and her compatriots in craziness will be relegated once again to the fringes of society and the dust bin of history.

Pack up all her cares and woes
There she goes, singin' low
Bye-bye bird brain.... 

Cheer up. She'll still be a presence in Washington, waxing idiotic for another year-and-a-half.

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY


Here's our beloved Rachel Maddow with some choice examples of the "BEST" of Michele Bachmann:


Here's a link to a piece that Gail Collins wrote yesterday in the New York Times on Michele Bachmann:

I will say the only word I know that you understand, my Michele: Twit.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Post #487: Random Observations

Ranting in Merrie olde England, 17 May 2010

The following compilation of needless swill is collected from a series of observations that I made in the comments sections of more respectable websites than this one - like the New York Times, the American Journal of Legal History, and Mad Magazine.

1. Goin' Blue

Republican Governors are refusing to allow the Affordable Health Care Act to be implemented in their states. This is merely one more in the thousands of examples you can point to why that party is living at the crack of its own doom. Here's a prediction you can take to the bank: Unless the Voting Rights Act of 1965 is repealed sometime in the next three years (a distinct possibility) the state of Texas will vote Democratic in 2016 for the first time in decades. Don't say I didn't warn you, Governor Rick.

2. Elizabeth Warren

The Dems would be smart to offer her up as the nominee three years from now. Of course that's not going to happen. I love Elizabeth Warren. She is one of the few Democrats who have not forgotten that theirs is the party of Franklin Delano Roosevelt. She understands that no one is too big to jail and has been going after the "banksters" with every bit of nerve and verve that she possesses. Ironically she is one of the only members of that body that I would apply the label "statesman". If she ever decides to make a run for the Big House, I'll put my life on hold and become a full time activist on her behalf. I'm just crazy 'bout that gal! 

3. The Prez's Legacy

If the Obama presidency were to end tomorrow his tenure would get mixed reviews at best. This much is for certain, though: the blame for most of his failures would not be placed solely at his desk. Let's be honest here, folks. The poor bastard has had a confederacy of dunces allied against him from the moment he entered the White House. The extreme right wing Tea partiers who now literally have Washington at the point of a gun are determined that his ideas - even his very conservative ideas - be rendered ashes in the wind. And don't kid yourselves; it's all about his race. The very idea of a black president is too much for these assholes to deal with. All this will change next year when a lot of Republicans are sent packing in the mid-term elections. Obama's only chances for greatness will be given to him in his final two years. Let's hope like hell that he doesn't blow it.

4. And speaking of "BLACK"

The president gave the commencement address last week at the historically black Morehouse College in Atlanta, Georgia. His speech had such a conservative edge to it in places, parts of it might have been written for him by Pat Robertson! You would think that the right wing scream machine would be beside themselves with glee, wouldn't you? Think again. These racist nitwits are incapable of giving this African American president a molecule of slack. The six words that sent these bigoted freaks into such a nasty tirade were these: 

"As a black man like you...."

Somehow, in their shrinking minds, this is proof that the first African American president hates white people. We surely do live in weird times, do we not? Again, if you are unable to see the racism that has been hurled against this man, you've got your eyes closed. Open 'em up.

5. Honoring Lenny Bruce

The Mark Twain Awards are given every year to American humorists and comedians. I've got a grand idea. This year, why don't they give a posthumous award to Lenny Bruce? Can you think of another person whose vocation it was to make others laugh that paid a higher price for his art than he did? Those who came to Lenny's defense during his all-too-short time on this earth often compared him favorably to Twain. Because he held up a mirror to a sick society for its hypocrisy and corruption they labeled him a "dirty comic". He was anything but. The poor guy was persecuted in a manner usually dished out to your average rapist and murderer. At the end of his life he was banned from performing in every major city in the nation with the exception of San Fransisco. On August 3, 1966 he was found dead in his foreclosed, West Hollywood home, the victim of a drug overdose. He was forty-years-old. Let's finally show Lenny Bruce the respect he deserves. I think Mark Twain would approve. 

6. The Carnage Continues

There have been nearly three-thousand gun-related deaths in this diseased land of ours since the massacre in Newtown, Connecticut on December 14 of last year. Three of them occurred one night a couple of weeks ago less than twenty-five miles from where I sit when an unknown gunman entered a house in Newburgh, NY and shot and killed a woman and two men. Although a relatively small city, Newburgh's homicide rate is ridiculously high. That holds true for the rest of the country. As long as the victims are proportionately poor and non-white nothing is going to change. Our "representatives" will see to that. Maybe when a few of their children are sacrificed on the alter of greed and stupidity it'll wake them up. Maybe.

7. Too Weird for Bob 

Do you remember good old Bob Dole? He was the last lovable conservative. Although I cast my ballot against him in the 1996 election, I didn't do so with glee - as I did last year when I voted against Mitt Romney. Although I disagreed with his political philosophy, I liked Bob Dole. I still do.

He made an appearance on Fox Noise Sunday this past weekend. I'm sorry to tell you that this is probably the last time we'll ever see him. He's fading into eternity. He told Chris Wallace that his suggestion to the Republican National Committee would be to shut down for the rest of 2013 and put a sign on the door saying, "Closed for Repairs". An eye-opening statement coming from a man I used to view as a super-hard-line right winger. What a difference a quarter of a century makes, huh? Old Bob's starting to look cuddly compared to the freaks who now control that party. In the interview with Wallace he lamented the disappearance of "Eisenhower Republicans". He said that even someone as conservative as Dick Nixon could not have made it in today's GOP "because he had ideas". Good ol' Bob Dole. Don't you miss him? I miss the guy terribly.


It's going to be a wild ride leading up to the midterm elections next year. This may not be the greatest time to be alive, but at least it's not boring. In fact it's the most interesting period that I can remember. The freak show that American politics has become in the last thirty years never fails to deliver the goods. 

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY


by Eileen Whitfield

For some unexplained reason I've been reading a lot of show business biographies lately. This one examines the life of a woman who changed everything. When Mary Pickford entered the movies in 1909 (over a century ago - WOW!) she was just another pretty face among a multitude of pretty faces. A decade later she would be the first woman mogul of the movie industry, being one the founding members of United Artists (along with Charlie Chaplin and her husband, Douglas Fairbanks). When she died on May 29, 1979 she was a sad and bitter recluse. Hers is a captivating and ultimately tragic story. I couldn't put this one down. 

Photo from Thomas Rankin

Hoping you all had a fine 'n' dandy Memorial Day Weekend! I got together for a little reunion of sorts with that old gang of mine from Goshen Central High School's class of 1977. A splendid time was had by all. They were indeed a nice group of kids to greet the dawn of adulthood with. I think that seventy-seven must be a really lucky number. No weed was smoked. Times have changed.

Here's a link to a piece I wrote four years ago about our reunion on the Fourth of July, 2009:

There's a star man waiting in the sky.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Ghost Scandals in the Sky

From the New York Post Toasties

Scandals are a'brewin' baby! Only these aren't really "scandals" of the scandalous variety. What we have here are distractions that are being perpetrated by the Republican party for no other reason than to deflect from themselves the damage that they are presently doing to this country. In a way it's kinda funny. Then again, in a way it's not. What's behind it all is the fact that there are certain grown men and women in America who can't accept the fact that there is a black man - and his even blacker family - who are living in the same house that was once inhabited by their sainted Ronald Reagan. Let us go over the for-instances, shall we?

The GOP's moronic quest to uncover any kind of controversy within the Obama administration reminds me of the old story of a little boy who was seen gleefully picking through a huge mountain of horse manure. When asked by his father why he was doing such a disgusting thing, the boy replied, "There's just gotta be a pony in here somewhere, Daddy!"

Four days ago the president of the United States held a joint press conference in the Rose Garden of the Executive Mansion with the prime minister of Turkey. It was raining. So rather than having the both of them standing there getting soaked to their skins, two military aids in dress uniforms held up umbrellas for them. As predictable as - uh - rain, within minutes the RIGHT WING SCREAM MACHINE went into overdrive:


Reality Check: With the exception of Jimmy Carter, there is a photograph of every president going all the way back to Grover Cleveland with someone holding an umbrella for him. In the first photographs taken of Lyndon Johnson the morning after be became president, an aid is holding an umbrella for him. No one ever made an issue of the existence of First Umbrella Handlers - that is until this president. I'm sure his race has nothing to do with it....Ahem.

For the record, I'm not a blind supporter of President Obama. The man has been a huge disappointment to me in a few areas to be sure. But I'm smart enough to predict that history will record most of his failures as being the result of an obstructionist and, yes, racist congress. It's gotten so bad that some of these assholes are now talking openly about impeachment.

As Bill Clinton found out the heard way fifteen years ago, the kooks, criminals and halfwits who long ago hijacked the Republican party are desperate to find demons where none exist. Their only recourse is to manufacture them. When they couldn't unearth anything impeachable in Bill and Hillary's Whitewater dealings, Ken Starr dredged up a pathetic intern by the name of Monica Lewinsky.

That is sort of like what is happening today with the latest scandal du jour. The Internal Revenue Service was looking into groups that are notoriously and militantly anti-taxation? Really? Gee, I wonder why! Most of this activity was limited to the Cincinnati office - a place where I am sure the president doesn't think about too often or have much jurisdiction over. None of that matters at all. The Republicans are determined to bring down this administration by any means necessary. The well being of the American people mean not a thing to them. This is not a state secret, folks. Mitch McConnell said within weeks of the inauguration of 2009 that his number one priority would be that Obama be a one-term president. To hell with everything and everyone else.

Chris Stevens
After the attacks on an American outpost in Benghazi and the killings of four people there including Ambassador Chris Stevens last September, another "scandal" erupted immediately. Here's what it was: whether or not Obama properly labeled it a "terrorist attack". In fact he did. When it soon became embarrassingly obvious that that little non-controversy had no legs to stand on, the focus was shifted to a series of e-mails that went back-and-forth between the embassy and the White House. It appeared that the president's people were trying to suppress information because of the upcoming election. We now know that those e-mails were paraphrased and edited in such a fashion as to make Obama look as corrupt and incompetent as possible. The demons of Benghazi are rapidly vanishing - like magic - into thin air. We'll find out the entire story (if any) soon enough. One can't hide from history.

Show me a person who is seriously alarmed by these conjured-up "scandals" and I'll show you someone who isn't paying attention - or who is watching way-too-much Fox Noise. That's not to imply that there isn't policy to be reassessed or personnel to discipline, but let's put things in their proper perspective, okay? To refer to this administration (as many Republicans are curiously doing) as "Nixonian" is bit over the top, don'cha think? Comparing Barack Obama to Dick Nixon makes about as much sense as comparing the sniffles to an advanced case of terminal brain cancer. Let's get a grip here.

Warren G. Harding
We're being told that these latest snafus in the Obama story are the "worst" scandals in the history of the republic. As if Harding's Teapot Dome or Nixon's Watergate or Reagan's Iran Contra - or Dubya's entire eight-year-reign - were mere blips on the radar. No one with even a remedial grasp of history would take such idiotic assertions seriously. Which leads me to the crux of the problem: The average American's knowledge of the story of the country they profess to love so well is pretty pathetic. Your representatives in Washington know this - otherwise they wouldn't make such ridiculous statements. A historical perspective is in order here, and long overdue. Comparing those presidential high crimes and misdemeanors to what might be going on - inside or outside the Obama White House - is beyond ludicrous. 

Ten years ago the sitting president (Guess which one I'm talking about) offered his fellow countrymen and women cooked-up intelligence in order to get us involved in an illegal war. As a result, as many as a million people or more - many of them  innocent children - lay dead today. Not only should that president have been impeached for what he did, he should at this moment be rotting in a federal prison. Where was the outrage then? No one but a handful of progressive writers and bloggers (yours truly included) was calling for his impeachment.

In the meantime watch with wonder and amazement as the United States spirals even further into the ideological cesspool.

And the gods looked down and laughed. 

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY 


by George Reedy

This is an unvarnished memoir of what it was like to work for Lyndon B. Johnson by the late George Reedy, the man who served as his press secretary for over a decade. LBJ was as skilled a politician who ever lived - and one mean bastard to work for - as Reedy demonstrates here.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

President Cruz?

“Every parent was horrified by what happened [in Newtown, Connecticut]. It takes your breath away. But within minutes, we saw politicians run out and try to exploit this tragedy, try to push their political agenda of gun control. I do not support their gun control agenda.”

Senator Ted Cruz on Fox Noise

Ted Cruz is against any legislation that would prevent the next massacre of innocent children? That's fine. I wouldn't expect a reactionary putz like Ted to do the right thing in the wake of such unspeakable carnage. What could you possibly hope for from someone who recently stated that he wants all of America to be more like his beloved Texas - a state that (with the merciful exception of Mississippi) every survey shows to be the worst place in this dying nation in which to live. Gosh, these surely are weird and wonderful times to be alive, aren't they?

Imagine this: Let's say - just for the sake of a really stupid argument - that Barack Obama hadn't really been born in the United States. Not only that, let's say that his father had fought in Fidel Castro's army back in the Fabulous Fifties and that he could take credit for helping the bearded one overthrow the Batista regime, handing the island-nation of Cuba over to the Commies in the process. Can you even imagine the field day that the Tea party loonies and the Birthers would have had with that bit of Obama Family history? Well here's something for you to ponder: That is the undeniable truth concerning the background of their latest savior, Texas senator, Ted Cruz!

Rafael Cruz, Ted's dad, says that he didn't realize that Castro was a Communist when he fought by his side all those years ago - a perfectly acceptable explanation. Even the Eisenhower administration didn't know what to make of Fidel when he visited the United States in 1959. Ted's many fans among the extreme right wing need not fear any serious backlash. No one in their right mind is going to make an issue out of Papa Cruz's past (KEY WORDS: "No one in their right mind" - it'll be a different story during the 2016 GOP primaries) Besides, we who lean left have no reason to exploit that fact. Ted is so burdened with liabilities of his own, the thought of his dad charging up San Juan Hill with Fidel Castro's Rough Riders is pocket change by comparison. The very presence of Ted Cruz on the American political stage is a Progressive's Dream Come True. He's the gift that keeps giving.

 Joe McCarthy
The thing about Cruz that tickles me more than anything is his obvious (and quite pathetic) idolization of the late Joe McCarthy. Although Tail Gunner Joe had been in the grave for almost fourteen years when Ted was born in December of 1970, the legacy of McCarthyism is alive and well in the man's persona. It is quite apparent that the senator from Texas has been channeling the long-dead senator from Wisconsin. He has so many McCarthy-like mannerisms that it's just a tad unsettling - such as the way he hunches over the microphone and tilts his head to the side. It really is something to behold. The weirdest thing about the times we live in is that in 1953 there was only one Joe McCarthy. Sixty years later it's a different story. Today the halls of Congress are polluted with scores of Joe-wannabes. As I said before, these sure are interesting times. 

In the four short months since arriving in Washington, this freshman senator has earned himself the reputation as the most obnoxious, bloviating jackass in town. He's even disliked by members of his own party - which is impressive when you think about it. As you might be aware the Republicans have set the bar pretty low when it comes to what is or isn't considered "statesmanlike" behavior. Show me a politician whose antics are too weird for the GOP and I'll show you a politician who really should be be watched - if for no other reason than our own amusement.

It astonishes me that Cruz is considered by the talking heads to be an intelligent man for no other reason than the fact that he graduated (with honors) from Harvard Law School. Pardon me for pointing this out but some of the most ruthless dingbats in our recent history attended that insanely overrated college. Unless they're Theodore or Franklin Roosevelt or Jack Kennedy, Harvard Men don't impress me too much. George W. Bush was a student there. He was turned down by the University of Texas Law School but was accepted by Harvard. What does that tell you about the joint? I'm much more likely to respect the opinion of a person who graduated  from CCNY. In my experience they tend to have a lot more substance.

 "No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President...."

-From Section One, Article Two of the United States Constitution

I'm gonna need your help here. I know you'll come through.

It is also apparent that Ted Cruz was inspired by a newly elected senator from Illinois named Barack Obama who, after only two years in office, sought - and won - the presidency. The fact that Obama was an African American must have made old Ted drool with longing. He must be saying out loud, "Well, hell! If some damn KNEE-GROW can do it, I can do it, too!" And sure enough, Ted is already on the move. He plans on throwing his hat in the ring in the 2016 presidential primaries. His Tea Party base are beside themselves with ecstasy. You can almost hear the exclamations of joy:

"Finally we're gonna do it right! Next time 'round we're gonna have a real-live, honest-to-goodness, Kool-Aid drinkin', Bible-thumpin' right-winger as our nominee! Cruz is our man! EVER'BODY, LET OUT THE OL' REBEL YELL!!!"

Unfortunately for them their glee is somewhat presumptuous. You see, Ted is constitutionally ineligible to hold the office of president of the United States. He wasn't born here. He was born in Canada - at least that's similar to the rationale that was made by the knuckleheads who challenged the president's eligibility to serve.

I wonder how these idiotic "birthers" would react if Cruz did indeed get the nomination? Would they scream bloody murder, demanding to see his birth certificate in the same way they howled for Obama's? The only thing that made John McCain eligible to be elected to the presidency was that - or so their reasoning went - although he was born in Panama, he came into this world in a hospital that was located on a US military base. This was the argument they used to defend their hypocrisy. I've got a funny feeling that what applied to the president of the United States shall not apply to the senator from Texas. Call it "an educated guess".

It has always been my opinion that Section one, Article Two was a really bad idea. It was probably inserted in there because someone did not want the habitually-controversial Alexander Hamilton (who was born in the British West Indies) to ever serve as chief-executive. I hope that someday it is repealed. We are, after all, a nation of immigrants, aren't we? I'll even go out on a limb here: I hope it's repealed in time to make Ted Cruz's idiotic quest for the White House nice 'n' constitutional - without a molecule of room for misinterpretation. I want him to be nominated as the GOP standard-bearer three years from now so badly that I can almost taste it. What a gift that would be, huh?

Of course it's not going to be repealed by then. There are enough Republican legislators astute enough to understand that having someone as extreme as Ted as their nominee would mean their party's certain doom. But as I said before, the Constitution doesn't mean a damned thing to Ted Cruz. He's hellbent on running regardless of whatever that document mandates. You can bet the farm that his opponents in the primaries will make an issue out of his "foreignness". I never dreamed  that a political year could ever get weirder than 2012. I was wrong about that. 2016 is going to be a laugh riot. Just you wait.

Ted Cruz as the Republican party's nominee in 2016? Oh, please, fate! Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please!

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY 


Fracking Pennsylvania
by Walter M. Brasch

"A valuable contribution [that] methodically lays out...the dangers of fracking. If you are not alarmed and fearful while reading Brasch's book, you are not sufficiently engaging its content."

-Reverend Leah Schade, EcoWatch

Here is a link to order if off of
Fracking Pennsylvania: Flirting With Disaster

Not merely for residents of the Keystone State. I'm just sayin'.

Tony and Doreen DiLeonardo

The Progressive Union:

A very cool internet radio program by my new Facebook pal, Doreen DiLeonardo, and her husband, Tony:

Have a listen when you can. Highly recommended! 

For more recent postings on this site, please go to the link below:

"The Rant" by Tom Degan

Watch America go gently into that very dark night.

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Fear and Loathing in Houston

Image of Fascist Barbie scarfed from CNN website
"The annual festival of conspiracy theorizing, belligerent fist-shaking and anxious masculinity known as the National Rifle Association convention came to Houston over the weekend, and it was everything the organizers hoped it would be."
-Paul Waldman, CNN
"How many Bostonians wished they had a gun two weeks ago?" 
-Wayne LaPierre, Executive vice-president of the NRA
How many Bostonians wish they could knock Wayne LaPierre's teeth out? I wonder....

The faithful descended upon Houston, thousands of "real 'mericans", to gleefully partake in the annual NRA/GOP festival of love - and fear. Wayne LaPierre stood at the podium doing what Wayne LaPierre does better than anyone; cranking-up the masses with some deadly imagery that left them thirsty for blood:
Wayne La P.U.
 "Lying in wait right now is a terrorist, a deranged school shooter, a kidnapper, a rapist, a murderer, waiting and planning and plotting in every community across our country, lying in wait right now." 
The multitudes gathered at the National Rifle Association convention this past weekend absorbed every paranoid word like diseased sponges. These were the true believers. These were the people whose mission in life was to save this grand and glorious land of ours from the leftist hoards of bloodthirsty bleeding-hearts and their dark-skinned, Marxist leader. It was truly a great hour to be a citizen of the good ol' U.S. of A. EVERYBODY SING! Oh, I wish I was in Dixie - Away! Away!

Indeed. The answer to all of our problems - at least according to the clowns speaking at this hootenanny - is not that firearms be "well regulated" as stated in the Second Amendment  (which they habitually quote out of context). The answer to all of our woes is simply more guns - lots 'n' lots of 'em! You see, that is the only way we'll be able to take on the federal government - blow the bastards straight to the pit of hell - on the day (which is surely coming) when the tanks come rolling down thousands of Main Streets to kill us all. QUICK! FETCH MAH AMMO BOX, ESTHER!

Shoot to kill first. Leave the questions to Saint Peter.

One gun in particular was quite evident at this year's NRA scream-a-thon - on exhibit and for sale - the  AR-15. This was is the rapid-fire, people-killing machine that was used by the homicidal little dingbat (who shall forevermore remain nameless on this site) to murder twenty little boys and girls and the six women whose job it was to protect and educate them on December 14, 2012. I'm sure that's just a coincidence, though - NUDGE! NUDGE! WINK! WINK! SAY NO MORE! KNOW WHAT I MEAN? KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

By the way, here's one for the joke books: the new president of the National Rifle Association is some beer-bellied twit named Jim Porter. This asshole still refers to the Civil War as "the War of Northern Aggression". Just a wee-bit out of touch with the times, don'cha think?

Olivia Engel, age 6
As might be expected, Sarah Palin was there. Although it is agreed among reasonable people these days that Fascist Barbie is pretty much irrelevant to our national dialogue, among the insanity junkies whose job it is to organize these NRA freak-shows, her star is still on the rise. Kinda makes you wonder, huh?

She criticized President Obama for using the grieving families of the Newtown victims as "backdrops" in order to appeal to our emotions. I guess it never occurred to this brain-damaged bitch that these poor people are willing participants in these media events, that they might want to prevent the unspeakable tragedy that imploded their lives in December from being visited upon other mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters. Fuck her. And speaking of irrelevance:  
"The freedom of all  mankind - make no mistake - is at stake. And because of this I truly believe that our souls are at stake as well."
-Glenn Beck 

Have a nice day
"Freedom"? Really??? How "free" do you feel? Free as a bird? That's perfectly understandable if you've never had someone you loved dearly killed by gunfire. I have. I wonder how many of the parents of the kids murdered in Newtown didn't give a rat's ass about the "gun issue" prior to December 14, 2012. I don't know the answer to that question. What I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that they care now. They care very much. You will, too, if and when it happens to you. And as we continue down this idiotic road, the chances are getting better by the day that it will indeed happen to someone you love - or to you - or to me (YIKES!). 

You might want to issue a little "travel advisory" to your clientele who plan on vacationing in the "land of the free". There are certain states in this warped nation that are just too dangerous to visit. Here's a list of the top ten places to avoid:

1. Alaska
2. Louisiana
3. Wyoming
4. Arizona
5. Nevada
6. Mississippi
7. New Mexico
8. Arkansas
9. Alabama
10. Tennessee

Just thought I'd give you that little heads-up.

Interestingly (though hardly coincidentally) all of the states listed above are so-called "red states". The ten safest places to live are in blue states. Here's another fun fact to chew on: The state of the union with the lowest rate of murders via firearms (by far) is Hawaii. You don't need to be a genius to figure out the reason behind this. First of all, the Aloha state has very sane and reasonable gun laws. Secondly, it is impossible do drive across state lines to plant an illegal gun in Hawaii. Isn't that wonderful?

Four months ago on the day after the massacre of innocents in Newtown, Connecticut, I predicted on this site that, in spite of the carnage, nothing would change. Nothing has. Nothing will. Get used to living in a nation in ruins.

"A WELL REGULATED MILITIA being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."

Hello? Anybody home???

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY  

Sam Cooke 1931-1964

by Sam Cooke

One of the sweetest little pop melodies ever consigned to wax by one of the more celebrated victims of gun violence in America.

AFTERTHOUGHT, 5/8/13, 5:43 AM:

"An Iraq war veteran and Internet talk show host is trying to gather thousands of protesters to march into the District [of Columbia] on Independence Day with loaded rifles on their backs."

I kid you not. Read all about it:

Anyone want to make a wager that these jackasses bring their small children along for the ride? Any takers?