Another Year Over

I'm really not in too much of the Christmas spirit this year for obvious reasons (none of which I need to go into here, I'm sure). Christmas has been permanently ruined for me, I suppose, and it's been that way for many-a-year. When I was a little kid,  I could never understand why Ebenezer Scrooge could hold so sweet a holiday in such complete contempt. I get it now. I really do hope this is not a permanent condition on my part. So, instead of dwelling on the negative, I'll share with you some little chestnuts from Christmases past.

 

2006:

 

Keep your eyes open for the miracles all around you. And remember the simple truth that there is more music to be found in the laughter of a single child than can be found in all of the symphonies ever composed by all of the composers who ever lived.

 

2007:

 

Keep the meaning of this day - which is not only the birth of Jesus Christ, but the very idea of peace on earth, good will toward all people - in your heart and soul. Pray for peace. And remember that it will never come so long as foolish men choose to make their earthly fortunes by providing the world with weapons of death.

Blessed are the peacemakers
For they shall be called Sons of God
 

2009:

Oh, and did I mention that I hate Santa Claus? I really do, you know. I say this without any fear of coal in my stocking. You see, I haven't received a thing from the hideous old bastard since 1966. That was the year I spiked his hot cocoa with a generous portion of Old Granddad. Santa, although a rather large person, doesn't hold his alcohol too well. I found this out the hard way. After leaving our presents under the tree, he took off from the roof or our home and crashed into the Finkle house across the street. Two reindeer were killed. Horrible carnage.

2010:

[CUE THE JINGLE BELLS]

'Twas the night before Christmas
and all 'round the place
Them Liberals was plannin'
to attack us with mace
The Children were nestled
all snug in their beds
While visions of Ayn Rand
stomped on their heads

And mama with her Demerol
and I with my booze
Had just settled down
for a long winter's snooze

When out on the rooftop
there rose such a ruckus
I sprang from my bed to see
WHAT THE F**K IS GOING ON UP THERE???

A posse of Liberals
all armed to the teeth
Were doing rude things
to our poor Christmas wreath

They spoke not a word
but were vile and we shook
As they ripped out the pages
of Ms. Palin's book

They poured gas on our presents
And set them aflame
And to our stuffed Santa
They did just the same

And I heard them exclaim
as they tore up the streets
"Nasty Krimble to all!
Next year leave us some sweets!"

But seriously, folks.....

2012:
`

I don't believe in wishing people a "merry" Christmas. Drunks and drug addicts are often quite merry but they are seldom, if ever, "happy". Like Doctor Winston O'Boogie said nearly forty-years-ago:

`

And so Happy Christmas

We hope you have fun

The near and the dear one

The old and the young!

`

Have a grand time, folks!

2013:

This planet is such a dark and unhappy place. At times it can seem unbearable. There is not one of us who couldn't stand a little more love. Not one of us is incapable of giving a little more as well. Rather than cursing the darkness - and each other - let us, instead, light some candles tonight.

 Happy Christmas, everybody. Happy Christmas, one and all!

2015:

This is just to hope and pray that you don't use this insufferable curmudgeon as an example and that you all have a grand holiday and new year. There really is so much to be thankful for that I have no right to complain about anything. My only request would be that if you know any people who might be spending this Christmas alone, stop by and see them if you're able to. Be safe, healthy - AND FOR PETE'S SAKE, GO EASY ON THE FREAKIN' FIGGY PUDDING, OKAY?

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So there you have it, folks. It doesn't matter your religion - or lack thereof. Have yourselves a grand and blessed Christmas/holiday season.

Cheers!

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY

SUGGESTED VIEWING: Here's a link to watch my Christmas message/tirade on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/tomdegan/videos/10154725815020729/

Cheers!

SUGGESTED LISTENING:

Every year the Beatles would record a Christmas message and send the record out worldwide to all the members of their fan club (Wasn't that thoughtful of the lads?) Here is a wonderful compilation that some very talented person put together a few years ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUvCPkp0H0U

Happy Christmas, everyone!

AFTERTHOUGHT:

The picture at the top of this piece was posted by a friend named Mandy Kilpatrick on her Facebook page. I couldn't resist nicking it!