Note to the rest of the world: Planning on a sweet and cozy vacation for the
spouse and kiddies? Here's some sound advice you'd be smart to heed:
Stay out of the this place. We here in the good ol' USA want you dead. And if
we catch you in the wrong place at the wrong time you're a goner,
Buster. Of course the odds are much better than fifty/fifty that you'll get
out of here alive but why on earth would you want
to take such a chance - particularly when your loved ones are involved? Go
out and hug a tree during a thunderstorm. It's much safer than visiting
the United States of America. Think I'm kidding? Don't mess with us.
Stay away from here if you know what's good for you. I'm not kidding.
Consider this: The Missouri state legislature is in the process of passing a bill that will nullify federal laws with respect to firearms. If they have their way it will be a felony in that state for federal agents to enforce any nationwide gun law. In states all across this country lawmakers are trying to pass legislation that will make it legal for anyone to carry any kind of weapon anywhere - restaurants, churches, bars - even public schools.
Let me repeat myself in no uncertain terms: Stay the fuck away from the United States of America. We may not end up killing you - but we're gonna give it the old college try.
Visit France. It's a heck of a lot safer than the US. Their waiters may be rude but the food is not to be believed. Visit England. Although their food is not to everyone's taste, their waiters are very polite - and you've never had fish 'n' chips until you've had them wrapped in wax paper and sprinkled with vinegar. But if you're absolutely hellbent on getting a taste of America, try visiting Canada. They're a lot like us in more-than-a-few respects. I've always said that Canada is America minus the psychosis. Besides, their beer is better.
You can visit Hawaii if you like. Although technically an American state, due to its climate and culture it's less America-like than Canada is. The thing about the Aloha State that makes it an ideal tourist destination is that it is the safest place in this doomed nation as far as guns laws are concerned. Being a group of islands thousands of miles from the American continent, it's next-to-impossible to smuggle weapons "across state lines" so to speak. You're hundreds of times less likely to be shot in killed in Hawaii than in places like Florida or Texas. Still, for all it's "safeness" you have an easier chance of falling victim to gun violence in Honolulu than in London or Paris. I just wanted to give you something to think about.
Come to think about it, you also stand a pretty good chance in the upper Northeast. Although you're not totally immune from crazy people with guns in that area of the country, states like Maine and Vermont are fairly safe. The gun laws there are somewhat reasonable and the people very friendly. You can also get the best breakfast in that region than practically any other place in the country. Yankee hospitality, you know? Their winters can be particularly brutal, though. Be forewarned.
Yeah, some states are a lot safer than others. Here's another handy and very dandy tip: Do not - under any circumstances - venture south of the old Mason-Dixon line. I'm just sayin'.
I want to give you a heads-up as far as visiting the "land of the free" is concerned. A people who live in constant terror wondering when and where the next massacre of innocent children will take place aren't very "free" at all when you think about it. And there will be other massacres, let's not kid ourselves. Our politicians have seen to that. I know that there will be some of my fellow countrymen and women who will judge me unpatriotic by advising foreigners to steer clear of this place - but as a humanitarian I have no other choice. When human lives are at stake the hell wit the Chamber of Commerce.
There are too many talking heads to count who are working overtime trying to keep foreigners from migrating to the United States; my vocation is to prevent tourists from visiting this place. America has become too dangerous for comfort, and the situation is not going to get any better in the years and decades to come. In fact it's going to get much worse. If you're reading this in Asia, Europe or Australia, the chances are good that you've never even known anyone that was shot and killed, right? Consider this: Not only have I known in my life several people who fell victims of gun violence - I had two cousins who died in that matter. How many of you can say that? Let's see a show of hands.
Who was the last British prime minister to be assassinated? Spencer Perceval on May 11, 1812 - two-hundred and one years ago! In less than one-hundred and fifty years time, four American Presidents have died at the hands of gun-toting assassins, with Harry Truman, Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan coming too-close-for-comfort to being numbers five, six and seven.
And don't even think of falling ill while you're here. It could end up bankrupting you. Foreigners are not covered by Obamacare. NYAH!
Clip this little rant of mine out and send it to as many travel agencies all over the globe as possible. The United States is a dying country; in fact it's in ruins. As less and less billionaires are able to devour more and more of the nation's wealth, a lot of the rest are becoming increasingly desperate by the day. Paris was the place to be in the twenties. England was the place to be in the sixties. Japan was the place to be in the eighties. This is not the place to be in the twenty-first century. Trust me.
I'll say it one last time: steer clear, ya hear?
by John Lennon
HEY, KIDS! HERE'S A HOT 'n' NIFTY CHART-BUSTING TOE-TAPPER FROM ONE OF THE COOLEST VICTIMS OF GUN VIOLENCE IN AMERICA IN THE ENTIRE TWENTIETH CENTURY!!!
|John, shot and killed December 8, 1980 |
I have an announcement to make:
|Tracy Murphy 'n' Me|
At 2:30 PM yesterday, after nearly a decade of correspondence, I had the honor and the joy of meeting Tracy Murphy in the parking lot of Petsmarts in Newburgh, NY. She actually exists in flesh and blood. All this time I almost believed that she was too good to be true.
She's very true, and I am quite grateful for that. It was one of those
mountaintop moments I'll never forget. Better than meeting your favorite
rock star. I once met Charlie Chaplin. That wasn't half as cool as meeting Tracy Murphy. Seriously. She's my hero, you know.
She had driven over six
hours from her native Buffalo to make a connection - a dog from Georgia
named Samsara that she had rescued from certain death. She's that kind
of human being.
What Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King
were to Human Rights, Tracy Murphy is to Animal Rights. I cannot even
begin to describe to you how blessed I am to be even a mere footnote in
this good and remarkable woman's biography. Life is beautiful.
At this writing, she and Samsara are safe and sound at their home in Newfane, NY.
I love you, Tracy Murphy.
Here is a link to a piece I wrote about Tracy nearly four years ago:
Here, also, is a link to Tracy's website, The Buffalo Vegetarian Soctiety:
Photograph courtesy of Tracy Murphy
One week and one day after I wrote this piece there was yet another massacre in the United States - thirteen dead at the Washington Navy Yard. You'd better get used to this sort of thing.
For more recent postings on this site please go to the link below:
"The Rant" by Tom Degan
THERE OUGHTA BE A FREAKIN' LAW AGAINST THIS SORTA THING!
(Psst! They're working on that!)