The 2012 Clown Brigade


Let us face some serious and undeniable facts here. A politician as deliciously sleazy as the Newtster should be cherished - if only for the scads of unintentional comedy his very presence in the national limelight inspires. As you might imagine, I have been following Newt's presidential campaign - or what's left of it - with a longing I'm hard-pressed to describe. I soooo wanted him to get the GOP nomination in 2012 I could almost taste it. I was even contemplating sending the hideous old freak a check. I might as well not waste my money. It's very clear to everyone (except Gingrich of course) that he's not going to get his party's nod next year - or any year for that matter.
Did you catch his act on CBS's Face the Nation last week? This "fiscal conservative" could not explain to Bob Schieffer why he owed Tiffany half a million dollars. But that is the least of his problems. The "base" is pissed off at him - not because he is one of the most corrupt politicians of modern times - but because he is on his third marriage. It's all over for Newt. Isn't it a Pity? Now, isn't it a shame?
Oh, but what a beautifully twisted campaign that might have been! Can you even imagine? As I speculated on this site back in March ("Newt the Hoot"), the fact that Newt is an apparently sane, relatively smart (compared to the rest of that party) white man, he would have needed a screamingly crazy black woman with the IQ of a turnip to "balance out" the ticket. Unfortunately there are no women of color within the Republican party with any degree of national stature. And since Butterfly McQueen is dead, this would have left either Michele Bachmann or Sarah Palin as the ideal running mate. What a fun campaign that would have been to cover! But, alas, it was never meant to be. [SIGH].
But fear not! There is still much hope for the cause of political parody in America. The good news is that the remaining frontrunners seeking to be the standard bearer in 2012 for the "party of Abraham Lincoln" (GAG!) are all ripe for satire. This is too good to be true.
Bachmann/Palin Overdrive
Tied for secon

The possibility of either of these two nitwits being nominated is not quite as farfetched as you might believe. Due to the heavy presence of the half-wit/evangelical vote early in the primaries - particularly in Iowa and South Carolina - it's not improbable that one or the other could gain enough momentum to breeze into the convention hall with just the right number of delegates at the end of the summer.
The dilemma they face is that with both of them seeking the same prize, they will split the uber right wing/Nazi vote between them - with the spoils going to someone like that nasty "left wing socialist" Mitt Romney. They need to make some kind of deal between themselves - and I really hope that they do. As a person who makes his name commenting on the train wreck of American politics, Bachmann or Palin at the top of the ticket would be a gift from Heaven. Okay, I'll level with you: I realize that this is a bit of a long shot but I can dream, can't I?
41. Bush
42. Clinton
43. Bush
44, Obama
45. Bush
Honestly, how idiotic w

FOR THE RECORD:
A country stupid enough to ever send another member of that disgusting family back to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue will deserve everything that happens to it. Everything. Not that I'd mind though. I am one of the very few people who make under a-million-dollars-per-year who would benefit very handsomely from a third Bush presidency. During the last decade, the lower this country sank into the shit hole, the higher my stock rose. While George Dubya Bush may have been the worst thing that ever happened to this country, the half-witted little bastard was the best thing that ever happened to me. You say you want to send another Bush to the White House? Go for it, dude - and thanks!
This mu

"And so Alaska may progress, I will not seek reelection as governor."
Sarah Palin
July 3, 2009
As I said at the moment she made that remark, "What the ffff....DID SHE JUST SAY THAT???" You bet'cha!
Had she b

Whatever happens and whomever gets the big prize at the Republican National Convention next summer, I am looking forward to the 2012 campaign like an eight-year-old kid looks forward to Christmas. This is going to be a revolution of laughs.
To paraphrase the Who: I've got a feeling 2012 is gonna be a weird year. Very weird indeed. I'm giddy. Forgive me.
Tom Degan
tomdegan@frontiernet.net
SUGG
Hardball with Chris Matthews on MSNBC
He drives me nuts sometimes (like the evening in October 2009 when he literally put Michele Bachmann on the political map) but Chris Matthews is just about the smartest son-of-a-bitch out there in the main stream media with respect to all matters political. If I miss an installment of Hardball, I'm the lesser for it.
SUGGESTED

A Good Life
by Ben Bradlee
The memoirs of the legendary editor of the Washington Post. I always thought that Bradlee was one of history's more colorful and brilliant people. This book only reaffirms my opinion. A great read.