Friday, June 25, 2010

Hey! Where's Dick?

Hey, that reminds me - what the heck ever became of Dick Cheney?. You remember him, don'cha? Sure ya do! A couple of months ago he was storming all over this once-great nation - the same nation he helped to destroy - in a nitroglycerin-addled frenzy, warning his brain-dead, clueless constituency what a danger the Obama administration posed for this troubled country. Three months ago you couldn't shut the hideous, gnarled old freak up. His silence since the disaster in the Gulf of Mexico last April is quite deafening. What happened to him?

I'll tell you what happened to him: At this very moment, our esteemed, former vice-president is in some "undisclosed location", meeting with a team of the cleverest lawyers stolen tax dollars can buy. The gazillion dollar shit hammer is within months of crashing down on the spiteful old bugger with a vengeance he doesn't dare contemplate (bad heart, you know). Very soon the executives of BP will be standing before a court of justice. When that day arrives - OH, BROTHER! - they're gonna spill their miserable guts as to what REALLY went down in those secret meetings between the Bush Cabal and the oil industry honchos in the early months of that disgusting administration. It ain't gonna be pretty, boys and girls. Not pretty at all. This is gonna get really ugly; count on it.

Dick Cheney's days as a "beloved elder statesman" are seriously numbered. Very soon it will become apparent to damned near everybody (Tea Partiers excluded of course) what a hideous, dreadful mistake it was to send these people to Washington ten years ago. Take that to the bank.

I have a confession to make: I miss Dick Cheney. I miss him and his disgusting daughter Liz pounding the bejesus out of the talk show circuit, waxing idiotic on the subject of the evil socialist in the White House. Be honest; they were kind of fun to watch, weren't they? They always reminded me of two circus wagons stuffed with clowns that had crashed into each other on a main highway. You just couldn't take your eyes off the two of them! Then came the BP disaster. Liz lowered her profile and Sickie Dick all-but-disappeared! I'm sure that's all a big coincidence, though.

We know, beyond any doubt, that the mechanism - the so-called "Blow Out Detector" - might very well have prevented this disaster. (Come to think about it, "disaster" is too mild a term. This is a man-made catastrophe beyond any in all recorded human history). The above-mentioned device was deemed too expensive (five-hundred-thousand "big ones") and BP was allowed to proceed without installing it. When Bill Clinton was in the White House, the Blow Out detector was mandatory. When Cheney became president (No, that wasn't a typo) it became optional. Wasn't deregulation a neat idea?

Very soon, probably within two years, we will have in our hands the minutes of the meetings Cheney conducted in secret with the captains of the oil industry - if they haven't been destroyed. At the very least we will have the testimony of the British Petroleum executives who were present at those meetings. I don't mean to emulate Joe Barton, but I will offer a defense of British Petroleum (however mild): As far as I can tell, they broke no law. Don't forget the uncomfortable fact that they were only taking advantage of the rules - or lack thereof.

It must be an awful thing to be Dick Cheney these days. To tell you the truth, I'm beginning to feel a bit sorry for the despicable old bastard. This is his Katrina. One cannot even blame Georgie Boy for this mess. The kindest thing I can say about George W. Bush is the fact that the guy was so mind-numbingly stupid, he was probably unaware of ninety percent of what was going on beneath him. Bush was a figurehead. It was only in the waning days of his term that he began to show a little presidential moxie - like when he refused Cheney's request that Scooter Libby be granted a pardon. But by then it was too little, too late. Bush will regret, to his dying day, his decision to have Richard Bruce Cheney nominated as his running mate. I am as sure of that as I am my own name. Do you remember how Cheney wormed his way onto the ticket?

In the Spring of 2000, when it appeared certain that Junior had the nomination locked up, George The Elder knew that his half-witted kid could not possibly win based on any intellectual merit, so he picked the Dickster to head a committee to find a suitable person to run with him - someone with "gravitas". That was the word of the hour. After only a few days, Cheney came back with the name of the perfect man for the job - DICK CHENEY! On March 10, 2007 - on this very site - I conjured-up for posterity's sake the dialogue that must have taken place:

CHENEY: George! I have found your ideal running mate!

BUSH: Great! Who is it, Dick?

CHENEY: You're not gonna believe it - IT'S ME!!!

BUSH: Whooa! What're the odds??

The very fact that our former president fell for this scam is proof of what I've been saying saying since the minute he announced his candidacy almost eleven years years ago: He was (and I'm being mercifully generous here) clueless. And to think that for eight long years he was commander-in-chief. Incredible.

This morning
I was looking at some video footage of Joe Biden on the morning news. Say what you might about the guy, he's such a breath of fresh air - good humored, amiable and thoroughly likable - such a welcome change from Dastardly Dick. You can't help but love Biden. At the moment there is talk along the Washington cocktail circuit about the possibility of dumping him from the ticket in 2012. That would be a grave blunder. He may shoot from the him every once in a while - but he's no Dick Cheney! He's Joe Biden - and if they're smart they'll keep him!

One can only imagine the panic that Dick Cheney is feeling. I know from personal experience the queasy feeling that overcomes the senses when one is certain that they're about to get busted. The sad thing is that he probably did nothing illegal when he loosened the rules that allowed BP to drill for oil in the gulf minus the most basic of precautions. One of the many sick perks of being a member of the ruling class is that it allows you to change the rules to suit your own evil purposes - consequences be damned and screw the people. What will certainly be revealed when they do go to trial will be still more tangible evidence of that administration's corruption.

Whether or not Twisted Dick crossed the barriers of legality in this instance remains to be seen. Wouldn't that be great if he did, though? I'd love to see him hauled off to Leavenworth in the back of an Ox cart, manacled from head to toe. Oh, please, fate! That would be a dream come true!

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

SUGGESTED READING:

The Trials of Lenny Bruce:

The Fall and Rise of an American Icon
by Ronald K.L. Collins and David M. Scover

The tragic story of the persecution of the greatest humorist of the twentieth century. I am in the process of rereading it. A great book. It's available in paperback.

AFTERTHOUGHT 6/26/10:

It was announced late last night that Cheney was rushed to the hospital. Seriously, I wish him well. But I have to ask; are the ramifications of what is presently happening in the Gulf of Mexico starting to get to him? I don't doubt that for a minute.

42 Comments:

At 10:50 AM, Blogger charles moore said...

Hi Tom, we can only hope that his ticker holds out long enough for his sorry ass to spend some major time in prison.

As for Liz, have you ever noticed how her nose resembles Pinocchio?

Seriously, I hope that all the details of his secret meetings with the oil industry will come out. You are absolutely correct; it is interesting how silent they have become - along with Palin.

 
At 11:03 AM, Blogger Jerry Critter said...

I think you are right. Dick's silence is deafening.

 
At 11:46 AM, Anonymous Chip Molter said...

"This is a man-made catastrophe beyond any in all recorded human history"

While it may yet become the greatest man-made catastrophe in all recorded human history(go BP, you can do it!), at this point it is still half the size of the Ixtoc I spill and it pales in comparison to the environmental devastation of the Niger delta.

 
At 1:48 PM, Blogger Sue said...

Tom, you're right on the mark with Dickless Cheney. The idiot is pure evil, but actually I shouldn't call the cunning A-hole an idiot. He knew exactly what he was doing in his plans to destroy America. Him and his hideous Lizard have been very quiet this month, can't ya just picture them in their dungeon with the lawyers!? LOL

I can't wait for the action to begin. Pictures of Dickless going off to the slammer just like Madoff! Oh we can dream...

 
At 3:18 PM, Blogger Bill_in_DE said...

Cheney is like a nightmare that just keeps happening even when you think you're awake.
I just got finished watching a documentary called 'Gasland' on HBO and sure enough, Dickhead and his company are responsible for causing people who live in some of the most beautiful areas in this country to live in a cloud of toxic fumes, and with no drinking water because what comes out of their faucets is flammable.

Thanks a lot, Dick.

 
At 10:12 PM, Blogger Sue said...

It's 10pm eastern time Friday night, Fox has RED ALERT going across the screen, Fuckface Cheney is hospitalized!!!! YAY!!! Oh sorry, I lost a little self control right there...

 
At 10:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sue, lets hope the same for the Thug in office.

Harry from Mass

 
At 10:32 PM, Blogger Jerry Critter said...

Hey, Anonymous, go fuck yourself.

I hope "The Dick" survives so we can put him in jail where he belongs.

 
At 9:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

better blog here:
The Constant Weader at www.RealityChex.com

 
At 9:29 AM, Anonymous ArchieBunkerNYC said...

"Whether or not Twisted Dick crossed the barriers of legality in this instance remains to be seen. Wouldn't that be great if he did, though? I'd love to see him hauled off to Leavenworth in the back of an Ox cart, manacled from head to toe. Oh, please, fate! That would be a dream come true!"


The nightmare that is about to come true is the slaughter this November of the Democratic Party.


Obama was a great campaigner but has shown his lack of executive experience which critics warned about and the Lame Stream Media ignored.


The oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico is gushing out of control. The Obama administration is at first slow to see the seriousness of the accident. Then, as the crisis becomes clear, the federal bureaucracy becomes entangled in itself trying to deal with the problem. "At least a dozen federal agencies have taken part in the spill response," the New York Times reports, "making decision-making slow, conflicted and confused, as they sought to apply numerous federal statutes."


Handling of the oil leak is going to go down in history as a a lot worse than Bush's handling of Katrina. LOL

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger Tom Degan said...

"The nightmare that is about to come true is the slaughter this November of the Democratic Party."

I have to disagree with you, Arch. The GOP cannot win without the support of that unpredictable segment of the electorate who describe themselves as "moderate". At this moment they are becoming quite alarmed at the extremism of the "party of Lincoln". While the Republicans may take back a handful of seats come November, I don't believe they will make any significant strides.

All the best,

Tom Degan

 
At 9:58 AM, Blogger Steve Gravano said...

Now would be a perfect time to release the transcripts from that meeting. But as history has proven for some reason Democrats never deliver the second punch, we let fat ass elephants walk all over us with their lies while they cry National Security.

 
At 12:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It was the MMS, under the DOI, who repealed the need for the environmental assessment and response plans that should have been filed publicly by BP in April of 2008 (the latest regs that were bypassed were put in place in 2005 by the Bush administration, by the way). This is why the Feds are now being sued by the Gulf Restoration Network and the Sierra Club.

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Hey Tom:

Cheney certainly is an evil bastard and was the virtual president (the vice was manifested in other ways)

I'm afraid that Obama will never prosecute the evil bastards - He prefers to "move on".

In our dreams cheney is hauled off to prison and THEN drops dead.

Maybe someday someone will investigate his actual role in 911.

Ray from Montgomery. (we're going to have coffee and chat someday)

 
At 4:39 PM, Blogger Darlene said...

I hope I live long enough to see the facts surrounding the Cheney secret meetings come to light. The fact that they have remained secret for so long proves how powerful he and his friends are.

Cheney probably won't live long enough to go to prison where he belongs, but maybe it will shut Liz up for good. (She even looks like her father. That apple didn't fall far from the tree.)

Just once in my lifetime I would like to see justice triumph and see the evil doers pay for their misdeeds.

 
At 4:59 PM, Blogger Grung_e_Gene said...

Dick Cheney is simultaneously the best and worst example of Government Run Health Care, for if Dick had not entrenched himself for 40+ years in Government "Service" he would have long ago been denied health care coverage and died.

 
At 5:37 AM, Anonymous Long Ben Avery said...

What I'd love to see would be the whole corrupt bunch of Dubya's administration, and that insane and duplicitous bunch we had here, in the UK, busted at The Hague!
The one I most want to see in jail is the Dubya's Old Man, bastard put a price on my head when I was working in Nicaragua, for an aid NGO I might add!

 
At 5:41 AM, Anonymous Long Ben Avery said...

Grung_e_Gene, Thanks for the 1st belly laugh of the week!

 
At 10:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who was president when oil spill liability was limited to $75 million???

 
At 10:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oil Pollution Act of 1990
The bill was introduced to the House by Walter B. Jones, Sr., a Democratic congressman from North Carolina's 1st congressional district, along with 79 cosponsors following the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill, which at the time was the largest oil spill in U.S. history. It enjoyed widespread support, passing the House 375-5 and the Senate by voice vote before conference, and unanimously in both chambers after conference. The U.S. Constitution, as interpreted in Gibbons v. Ogden (1824), gives Congress the sole authority to regulate navigable waters.

 
At 12:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excerpts from the Gulf Restoration Network Lawsuit against the MMS…

“In 2005, after extensive public notice and comment, the MMS adopted regulations that set national standards governing oil and gas drilling on the Outer Continental Shelf (“OCS”). These regulations require that every Exploration Plan contain public disclosures of the highest volume of crude oil that could be discharged from an uncontrolled well blowout, the maximum flow rate, duration, and volume of such a blowout, the likelihood that the blowout could be stopped by surface intervention, rig package constraints and the availability of a rig to drill a relief well, as well as the time needed to drill such a relief well.” This was during the Bush administration.

“However, on April 1, 2008, Lars T. Herbst, the Regional Director of the MMS, Gulf of Mexico, issued Notice to Lessee 2008 G-4, which exempted offshore exploratory drilling operations from compliance with the Blowout Scenario Disclosure and portions of the Worst Case Oil Spill Response requirements found in the governing federal rules. The Notice to Lessee effectively repealed most of those requirements for the operations most at risk for blowouts – exploratory drilling operations.” This was during the Obama administration under Salazar’s watch.

 
At 1:29 PM, Blogger Jerry Critter said...

HarleyA
That was less than 3 months into the Obama administration. It takes time to clean up all the Bush bullshit! He left big piles all over the place.

 
At 1:55 PM, Anonymous Boltok said...

This country would be much better off if Cheyney ran for president and beat Obama.

 
At 4:51 PM, Blogger Bill_in_DE said...

Boltok said...

"This country would be much better off if Cheyney ran for president and beat Obama."

“Every absurdity has a champion who will defend it.” –Oliver Goldsmith

 
At 10:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

JerryCritter –

My real point was that during the Bush administration, the more strict regulations were put in place. So, you need to give credit where credit is due. And, I’m not saying that Obama is culpable for the Notice to Lessees that went out in 2008. Really, it’s ridiculous to think either man had ANYTHING to do with issues at that level of detail. At the same time, I’m saying neither did Cheney understand the engineering minutiae of every production platform. I think you’re barking up the wrong tree, but I hope you find what you’re looking for. It would help if folks would post facts and reality. Your thesis is based on the contents of a vast network of “secret meetings”. And, boy, if you could only see the contents of those “secret meetings”. I hate to tell you, but there’s REP and DEM secret meetings happening every day – every single politician in DC is working pet interests. Life is not so simple that we can blame all our problems on a handful of individuals.

 
At 11:25 AM, Blogger Jerry Critter said...

Let's at least start with the "handful of individuals" and see where it leads.

 
At 1:54 PM, Anonymous Boltok said...

“Every absurdity has a champion who will defend it.” –Oliver Goldsmith

Bill in DE seems to be the champion with Obama.

 
At 3:00 PM, Blogger Bill_in_DE said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 3:03 PM, Blogger Bill_in_DE said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 3:04 PM, Blogger Bill_in_DE said...

"Bill in DE seems to be the champion with Obama."

The absurdity I was referring to was Dick Cheney being a better choice. As though he hasn't already shown what an awful job he'd do as President.

 
At 5:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fair enough, but be even-handed. Go after Cheney. But you might also want to look into the pseudo-science propagated by Gore, for example, all in the name of putting his name in the spotlight. Some very interesting “secret meetings” and agendas being pushed – scientific issues being politicized to further careers. There’s plenty of shenanigans to go around. I realize this is a biased site – I get that. I’d just like to challenge folks to take the political blinders off and think a little. I believe firmly in absolute truth – black and white does exist. I do, however, reject that our two-party system in any way falls along the truth/falsehood lines. Politicians are not in the truth business.

“There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is no party of principle.”
Alexis de Tocqueville

 
At 8:25 PM, Anonymous Boltok said...

Cheney would not have appointed this idoit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSoWGlyugTo

 
At 8:31 PM, Anonymous Boltok said...

how about this vp

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJWxpdYJ3Oc&feature=player_embedded

 
At 9:53 PM, Blogger Bill_in_DE said...

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but the 'pseudo-science propagated by Gore' is actually the conclusion of an overwhelming majority of climate scientists around the world.

Trying to blame Al Gore for climate change resulting from global warming (that's what it's actually called, btw) reminds me of another quote:

"When someone points skyward, it's the fool that looks at the finger."

 
At 7:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where is the Senate Democrat who was the longest-serving member of Congress in United States history and a member of the KKK?

Dick Cheney has nine lives and will outlive you Tom. LOL

 
At 7:40 AM, Anonymous Borat said...

Bill in De
I went to a number of presentations by Oppenheimer from princeton. He would not disucss cause in effect in mathematical terms but would say things like, "If there is one chance in a thousand of man made climate change then we should pass CO2 regulations and tax and cap."

I concluded that the hot air coming out of princeton was solely responsible for atmospheric warming.

University of Anglia destroyed all base data required to recreate their analysis.

 
At 7:43 AM, Anonymous Borat said...

if you want to learn more about one of these gas bag scientists, i have attahced his bio link

http://www.princeton.edu/step/people/faculty/michael-oppenheimer/

 
At 10:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You’re exactly right, Borat . The faulty, and downright wrong, math behind the Mann hockey stick curve that was Gore’s poster child is a laughing stock. It has been shown to be heavily flawed at best and politically motivated and deceptive at worst. And, to say there is wide scientific agreement is simply not true. There are many theories in play as to how CO2 affects global temps and how the earth uses CO2 as a temperature control mechanism. The science is nowhere near the final conclusion state. They still don’t even have agreement on CO2’s role in global temperature control nor how significant a part it plays compared to other factors (water vapor, for example). Whether or not man-induced global warming is real, Gore’s book is bunk.

So, now it’s called “climate change resulting from global warming”. In the 70’s they were sure the globe was in a drastic cooling period. In the mid-80’s through the mid-90’s they were sure we were in a drastic warming period. Now, they’re taking the strong stance that, well, the climate changes. Brilliant.

In the end, we all know that Dick Cheney is controlling global climate, too. It’s all there in the secret meetings…

 
At 8:25 AM, Anonymous Will Shirley said...

"to say there is wide scientific agreement is simply not true." Can you demonstrate that this is a true statement? What do you base it on? I am wondering because I have seen several scientists declaring that the science is in, widely accepted and while there is still some minor debate about the details and exact mechanisms,there seems to be no talk about "pseudoscience". As far as charts and such go, well any intelligent person knows that they can be set up to graphically demonstrate information which would otherwise be too subtle to see. You change the scale in order to exaggerate the slope in order to make it clear that there IS a slope.

Frankly, I think that nature is chaotic and to understand it you must understand the nature of chaos. It isn't erratic, just inconsistently inconsistent. It runs along nicely at one temperature and then a bit of energy hits and suddenly the water is boiling out of the pot! You'd never expect such a display based on careful observation of hot water, but there it is. Now suppose the climate model has similar characteristics. We're moving along at a given pace while the atmosphere heats up and up. Suddenly the ice shelf breaks off into the oceans, the salinity changes, the Gulf Stream stops and we have Holland under an ice cap and most of America is a desert! It can happen, it has happened, and all the chatter will not stop it. Gore is a simple man who has become alarmed, correctly, at the pattern-break pattern of the climate models. But is not pseudoscience to say natural systems operate within rules which are chaotic in nature. Meanwhile the inertia of the atmosphere is such that by the time we get somebody in charge with the balls to say WHOA to carbon-fired technologies we will be swimming in ecological refugees.

The good news is that Florida will be 2/3 under the waves, Texas will be a waterless desert, and Arizona will have been abandoned by Americans the way the Hohokam did a thousand years ago.

 
At 8:34 AM, Anonymous Will Shirley said...

Borat- Have you checked this information?
In fact, according to the scientists, the raw data is still available at the meteorological services where they obtained it -- director Phil Jones said the CRU simply did not keep copies for "less than 5 percent of its original station data" in its database because those "stations had several discontinuities or were affected by urbanization trends."
and then:
"Rupert Murdoch’s “Times” reports the University of East Anglia scientists have not retained a lot of the data they used in their temperature model calculations. Of course, the East Anglians didn’t do the original data collecting. It was collated from many weather stations around the globe. Presumably each weather station has its own data set going back to the start of record-keeping.
But data destruction headlines make great grist for global warmer skeptics."

So maybe the data is actually available for anyone who chooses to replicate the calculations which indicated man was the source of the extra carbon dioxide in the air, and was not destroyed at all.

You know that kid with cancer who is collecting baseball caps? Well the latest version of that story has the wrong name of the "kid", who is now an adult and free of cancer for years, also the wrong address to send the caps, but they still are being sent because somebody put the story on the internet and people don't follow up and check the facts at several sources. I remember the blurry xerox pages being passed around the office showing absolute proof that the Illuminati run the world. Now I read the same stories online, but I still think they are suspect.

 
At 4:34 AM, Blogger Rhiannon said...

Incredibly well written post and I agree with just about everything you wrote about Dick Cheney..he's always been a scary "mean" and "bitter" looking man...his poor heart is always affecting him, because he is maybe holding onto so much guilt..that of course he doesn't want people to know so constantly goes on the defensive and makes himself appear every worse.

I wait for this "evil weapon of mass destruction" Dick Cheney to finally awaken into the light that beckons to him...and for him to crawl out of his dark hole of darkness, and admit his horrific guilt and selfish human frailties..a man with only a rusted old heart...like the wizard of oz, only worse..which is why his heart has always giving him so many problems from a young man all the way up to now...


Rhiannon

 
At 10:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"[The McKitrick and McIntyre findings] hit me like a bombshell, and I suspect it is having the same effect on many others. Suddenly the hockey stick, the poster-child of the global warming community, turns out to be an artifact of poor mathematics."
Richard Muller, 2004. Global Warming Bombshell. MIT Technology Review
- - -
"The IPCC review process is fatally flawed. The behaviour of Michael Mann is a disgrace to the profession.... The scientific basis for the Kyoto protocol is grossly inadequate."
Dr. Hendrik Tennekes, retired director of the Royal Meteorological Institute of the Netherlands.
- - -
"It is strange that the climate reconstruction of Mann passed both peer review rounds of the IPCC without anyone ever really having checked it."
Dr. Rob van Dorland of the Dutch National Meteorological Agency in an article in the Dutch science magazine Natuurwetenschap & Techniek (NWT) Feb. 27, 2005.
- - -
"Between 1400 and 1600, the temperature shift was considerably higher than, for example, in the previous century. With that, the core conclusion, and that also of the IPCC 2001 Report, was completely undermined."
Dutch Climatologist Ulrich Cubasch interviewed on German television, February, 2005.

 

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