Monday, January 05, 2009

Post #200: Worst of "The Rant"

Two hundred postings in thirty-one months? The first posting of 2009? Well now! If that ain't a milestone event worthy of a retrospective flashback, I don't know what is! Join me, kiddies, while we take a merry little stroll down Memory Lane....

June 2, 2006:
In November of 2000, when the voters of the United States of America foolishly sent this moron to the executive mansion, we effectively pointed the proverbial loaded pistol at our own collective head. Four years later on Election Day 2004 - make no mistake about it - we pulled the trigger.

June 3, 2006:
And on a star spangled night, my love
You can place your rights on the fireplace
And by the dawn's early light, my love
Your Constitution's turned to dust
Fascism American Style!
That's me and you!

June 4, 2006:
He [Bush] is the greatest president in American history. His is the most gifted, competent administration in American history. History will be the final judge of "We the People" as to whether or not we had the moral foresight to stand behind our able and good commander-in-chief at this most perilous moment....

I'm sorry. I just made a twenty dollar bet with myself that I could write [that last paragraph] and keep a straight face. I lost.

July 4, 2006:
Conservative causes may look good when viewed through a contemporary prism. But they always - without exception - look foolish, even totalitarian, when viewed through the objective lens of 20/20 historical hindsight. If you don't believe me, look up every Conservative cause in American history - starting with slavery! No doubt about it: America is in dire need of a long overdue history lesson, not to mention a course or two in civics.

July 14, 2006
Please stop desecrating the memory of the great emancipator by continuing to refer to it as the "party of Lincoln". Don't ever call it that again. Abraham Lincoln's influence on the Republican Party ended at exactly 7:22 on the morning of April 15, 1865 when he breathed his last breath.

July 31, 2006
One day - and that day is coming very soon - the American people are going to wake up from the Right Wing coma they've been snoring under for the last quarter of a century. And just as they did in 1932 with Franklin D. Roosevelt, they'll send a progressive, "a Liberal" to Washington to clean up the whole, shameful mess.

August 2, 2006
Is it any wonder that we are the laughingstock of the world? Yeah, yeah, I know! The Bush Mob stole the elections of 2000 and 2004. But if most people didn't actually vote for him, a significant minority did. An extremely significant minority. it's easy to steal an election when the results are that close. That's how Lyndon Johnson was able to steal a senate seat from Coke Stevenson in 1948. All it took was rearranging a handful of ballots in one precinct. Think about that for a minute! But for a few corrupt officials in one small Texas district, America might have been spared the horror of Vietnam a generation later. We really should start thinking about giving that state back to Mexico.

September 18 2006:
Three-an-a-half years ago, almost to the day, the president of the United States of America broadcast a message to the youth of Iraq: "Don't give your lives for a dying regime." Truth be told, I was shocked that George W. Bush was even capable of such sage advice. It's also excellent advice for the youth of America: Don't give your lives for this sick, corrupt and dying regime! And if I may, I would also like to add this little pearl to the discussion: ORGANIZE AND RESIST.

November 26, 2006:
Eight years ago Bill Clinton was almost forcibly removed from office for lying about having an extra-marital affair. When are we going to stand up and admit that Clinton's relatively minor transgressions are but a cup of water when compared to Bush's moral and ethical tsunami?

January 19, 2007:
George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld - and the tsunami of human excrement that comprises this despicable administration - opened up the gates of hell when they went into Iraq almost four years ago. Only God knows
whether or not we would have been able to save the Iraqi people from themselves; but at least we'll be able to save them from us. That's reason enough to leave.

February 6, 2007:
This generation of Americans inherited from their parents the most prosperous nation in the history of the world. And just what will our heirs inherit from us? A social and ideological cesspool. Go shopping, America.

February 23, 2007:
Will Barack Obama be the next president of the United States? It's hard to say; but one shouldn't be foolish enough to dismiss his chances outright. We live in desperate and extraordinary times and the American people, if only out of sheer desperation, might very well turn to an extraordinary candidate. That very fact is enough to put the good senator over the top. We can only hope. Talk about audacity!

March 19, 2007:
Dear President Bush,

This morning on MSNBC they rebroadcast the footage from May 1, 2003 of you on the deck of the aircraft carrier, Abraham Lincoln. I saw you in that silly flight suit. I saw that disgusting smirk on your face as you declared, "Major combat operations in Iraq are over".

QUESTION: Sir, with the benefit of 20/20 historical hindsight, do you even have a clue as to how fucking stupid you look?

Just wondering.

Love and Peace,

Tom Degan

[Author's note: That letter was mailed to the White House]

March 24, 2007:
The end of the Bush era is upon us. The American people are angry and will soon demand that justice be served. And you thought that Nixon's downfall was fun to watch? Oh, brother!

April 2, 2007:
Let's face some serious facts here, kids: Hillary Clinton is not - under any circumstances - going to be the next president of the United States. 'Tain't gonna happen - not in this lifetime nor the next. Get used to the idea. Come to terms with it. Get a grip. Deal with it. It's not in the cards - marked or otherwise. It's not part of the equation. It's not on the table. It's not under the table. It's not in the stars. It's not in the moons. It's not in any body's horoscope - yours or mine. It's not on the horizon. Let me be as clear and concise as I possibly can: That's never, EVER, going to happen. Could I be any clearer than that?

May 13, 2007:
Somewhere in the void, Richard M. Nixon, you may be sure, is laughing right now. As revolting as the break-in at the Democratic Headquarters in the Watergate Hotel on June 17, 1972 might have been, when history finally renders its ultimate judgment, that crime will seem but a paper cut when placed in juxtaposition to George W. Bush's moral and ethical bloodbath. Compared to the Bush Mob, the Nixon Gang are starting to look like a bunch of Trappist Monks.

June 2, 2007:
Is it un-American to feel positively giddy (as I unashamedly do) by the implosion of the executive branch of the United States government? Not at all. Not when that government has proven itself to be as murderously corrupt and incompetent as this one. Make no mistake about it: the complete and utter failure of the Bush regime is the best thing for our republic.

July 10, 2007:
I imagine if I had gone to high school with Mrs. Bush, we wouldn't have done much hanging out together. I never would have been invited to one of her parties and she would not have been caught dead at one of mine:

"Try this hit of Orange Sunshine, Laura, You'll be up for days."

No. Scenes that weird have a tendency of stretching the imagination to the breaking point.

July 26, 2007:
We do live in interesting times, don't we? We really do! Watching these despicable people literally self-destruct before my very eyes is a joy that I can't even adequately put into words! Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming!

August 14, 2007:
Although the day passed totally - deservedly - unnoticed, May 2, 2007 marked the fiftieth anniversary of the death of Joseph R. McCarthy. I only mention this fact because no one in the last half century has replicated more the corrosive effect the red-baiting Wisconsin senator had on the American political system than Karl Rove - NO ONE.

October 15, 2007:
Hey Democrats! Do you want to know another reason why I left your party almost a decade ago? You people are just dumb enough to give the nomination to Hillary Clinton! Prove me wrong, Dems! Please prove me wrong!

October 21, 2007:
In 1958, the year I was born, the very idea that an African American would one day sit on the Supreme Court would have been dismissed as ludicrous by even the most liberal-minded person. It is because of the very policies that Clarence Thomas so despises - policies placed into law by the progressive-minded lawmakers he views with such utter contempt - that he is where he is today. The very fact that he would want to pull up the ladder that made it possible for him to climb to the pinnacle of his profession - thereby preventing other members of his oppressed race from achieving the same opportunities he so skillfully exploited - is one of the most despicable things I have ever been forced to witness as an American citizen.

November 30, 2007:
The America that you and I grew up in is as dead as a doornail. That "shining city on a hill" is a mirage; it's a dream. Wake up. Wake up! WAKE THE FUCK UP!

December 16, 2007:
And you thought that the only thing George W. Bush had been torturing all these years was the English language?

Christmas Day, 2007:
Keep your eyes wide open for the miracles all around you. And remember the simple truth that there is more music to be found in the laughter of a single child than can be found in all of the symphonies ever composed by all of the composers who ever lived.

December 30, 2007:
2008 will be remembered as the year our entire economy collapsed. Take that to the bank (so to speak).

January 4, 2008:
You know, I was just thinking: This son-of-a-bitch [Barack Obama] just might be able to pull this thing off! WOW!

January 31 2008:
America is definitely at a crossroad. Probably more so than any time since 1932. We're now in a position to vote for real change. We now have a golden opportunity to ring in a new era of enlightenment and progress. The choice is still ours to make.

February 13, 2008:
The reality must be faced head on. Sending a Black guy to the Oval Office is an idea that's long overdue. And we're not just talking about any Black guy. He's not Jesse Jackson and he's certainly not Al Sharpton! What we're talking about here is someone who is one of the most extraordinary candidates to come down the political pike in a very, very long time. Barack Obama's day has come.

March 11, 2008:
The final hours of the Bush presidency will find the soon-to-be ex-president furiously issuing pardons - THOUSANDS OF THEM - to the criminals and cowards who faithfully, mindlessly did his bidding. Given the arrogance of this half-witted frat boy, he probably actually believes that a president can legally pardon himself. No doubt about it, the hideous bastard is in for one dark and deeply disturbing surprise.

April 20, 2008:
The total abolition of the Death Penalty is an idea that is long overdue. That this inhuman practice is is being committed on an almost weekly basis inside the walls of prisons all over the country only demeans us as a people. It is un-American and un-Christian. Or at least that is how my civic and religious upbringing forces me to interpret it. My Jesus was a Man flowing with love, mercy and compassion. What was your Jesus all about?

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy".

April 26, 2008
Once again, the Democrats have been handed a bottle of finely aged, twelve-year-old scotch and these gutless assholes have turned it into donkey piss.

June 8, 2008:
So desperate is the Bush Mob to forestall the inevitable, catastrophic economic collapse that is months - if not weeks away - they have resorted to sending checks in the amount of several hundred dollars to every taxpayer in the United States. Their intention is to keep the economy barely sustained just long enough to be able to get out of town while the getting is good and blame the coming, unavoidable meltdown on the next administration; an administration they have some reason to believe will be a Democratic one. What they are in the process of doing may very well serve as a temporary fix; but it will eventually only further deplete our already decimated national treasure. Seriously, has it dawned on you yet how utterly contemptible these people are? I was just wondering.

July 5, 2008:
The next four months will find Barack Obama saying and doing a lot of really nutty and stupid things in order to appease a nation chock full of nutty and stupid people. That is the only way one can get elected president in this country. Trust me on this one.

July 24, 2008:
How is it going to look if we choose a senile old bobblehead over a young and vigorous statesman who has the respect and admiration of the entire world? Gee, we're gonna look awfully silly, don'cha think?

September 3, 2008:
Another thing that struck the funny bone with a vengeance was the old man [George Bush 41]. After Dubya addressed the convention via satellite from the Oval Office, the camera cut to George, the elder. It was laughably apparent that poor old Poppy was just as proud as a peacock at the performance of his half-witted kid. Obviously someone has been hiding the newspapers from the clueless old bastard these past seven-and-a-half years.

September 16, 2008:
What must be understood is that Ronald Reagan was essentially a mask, with a twinkle in its eye and a fine, Irish smile. Remove that mask and what is revealed is the hideous smirk of George W. Bush. That's the real face of the Reagan Revolution. Wake up, America. We're about one half of a step away from the point of no return.

September 26, 2008:
Someone has accurately described it as privatized profit and socialized loss. How much more proof do the clueless American people need? The mask has been yanked away from the phantom of this stupid operetta and the real, ugly face of the Reagan Revolution is revealed for all to behold. THEY are allowed to run roughshod through our social and economic infrastructure. WE are expected to clean up THEIR mess. THEY walk away from the economic carnage relatively unscathed, THEIR tax cuts, quarterly dividend checks and multi-million dollar severance packages still firmly in place, while WE are left to bear the burden of THEIR greed and recklessness. FUCK THEM!

October 15, 2008:
It must be a horrible thing indeed to walk in the shoes of George W. Bush nowadays. Have you seen him lately? The disgusting little thug has aged ten years since the early spring. Why? Think about it: As long as the polling results between Senators Obama and McCain were so razor-thin, stealing this election would be as easy as it was in 2000 and 2004. McCain would be a sure thing and the First Fool and his posse of homicidal sycophants would be able to slither out of town, forever assured that they had gotten away with their crimes against the American people. The last thing in the world he wants is to have the Department of Justice placed in the hands of competent investigators. Read that to mean: "non Right Wing party hacks".

October 25, 2008:
The "Far Left" that the Far Right loves to whine so much about doesn't even exist anymore. You don't believe me? The next time you're in any big city, try finding the local chapter of the American Communist Party. Good luck.

October 30, 2008:
The possibility of sending a non-white person to Washington as the leader of a quarter of a billion people is a wonderful thing to contemplate. Those who share the color of his skin suffered more hardships and injustice than any other group throughout our history. Their time has come. This is their moment. Don't try to stop it. It will be easier to keep the sun from rising.

Election Day, 2008:
Every generation or so, the American people will do something that defies historical expectations. Last evening was a shining example of one of those moments. For the first time in my life (I turned fifty on August 16) I will point towards the Executive mansion on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and I will be able to say with pride, "That's where my president lives." I suspect that there are millions of us who feel that way. I don't know about you, but I've never been more proud of our country.

November 13, 2008:
The euphoria I've been feeling since election Day came to a dead halt yesterday when I was reminded of something I hadn't thought of before. The election of the first Black person as president of the United States is not the milestone event I had previously thought it to be. Think about it for a minute or two: What will Barack Obama be doing for the next four to eight years? The same thing that African Americans have been doing for the last four centuries - cleaning up the mess left behind by lazy and ignorant White people. What the hell's the big deal?

Eight years ago, poll after stupid poll said that most of the people who voted for George W. Bush did so because they would have preferred to have a beer with him over the smarty pants, policy wonk, Al Gore. Sure! I would prefer to have a beer with Bush over Gore any day of the week - if only to smash the little thug upside his head with a bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon. But I'll let you in on a little secret: I sleep much more soundly at night knowing that my president is an articulate, intelligent person. Imagine how troubled my slumber has been for the last eight, long years, knowing that the man with his finger on the nuclear trigger has the I.Q. of a half-eaten box of Milk Duds. It has not been easy, trust me. From this day forth, if the Republicans insist on nominating people with the intellectual afflictions of Ronald Reagan, Dan Quayle, Sarah Palin and George W. Bush - then the Grand Old Party is over.

December 2, 2008:
The fact that this half-witted little guttersnipe was elected twice to the most powerful office in the world defies credulity. And considering the gravitas of the two men he was able to defeat, his tenure as president is all-the-more embarrassing. It is akin to Jascha Heifetz and Itzhak Perlman losing to Jack Benny on the American Idol violin competition.

December 31, 2008:
In terms of sheer, side-splitting stupidity as entertainment, it will never again get funnier than George Walker Bush. That much I can say with total confidence. The man should have a table named in his honor at Lindy's. Truth be told, I'm kind of going to miss the hideous little bastard when he's gone.

January 5, 2009:
Two-hundred postings in thirty-one months? The first posting of 2009? Well now! If that ain't a milestone event worthy of a retrospective flashback, I don't know what is! Join me, kiddies, while we take a merry little stroll down Memory Lane....

I'm sorry. Am I starting to sound just a tad redundant?

Pray for peace.

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

COUNT DOWN: There are fifteen days until the imbecile-in-chief will be sent a'packin' back to Crawford, Texas.
`
Photograph taken on the morning of January 5, 2009.

10 Comments:

At 2:58 AM, Blogger larkrise said...

It will be 15 days of Hell. Gaza is worse. The economy is worse. Bush is conniving to destroy every regulation that ever helped mankind. The sorry little pipsqueak is so full of venom, he can't stop spewing it everywhere he turns. He and his Neocons are part and parcel of the mess in Gaza. Sleep well, Georgie, you and Deadeye Dick have killed a lot of children. Yeah, that takes real guts. Your souls are as shriveled as your cahunas.

 
At 7:51 PM, Blogger Sharon said...

Technically, **WE** did not send GWB to the White House; the Supreme Court did. We must never ever forget that.

The best news I've read since Nov 4th:

Bush starts packing to leave White House

Oh, and George and Laura aren't going back to Crawford, except maybe for holidays. They don't have to pretend to be ranchers anymore, so they're moving into a $2M house in the exclusive Preston Hollow section of Dallas. Word is that the Bushes want to have gates installed at the entrances to the neighborhood, just like Daddy Bush did at his house in Houston.

 
At 6:08 AM, Blogger Tom Degan's Daily Rant said...

Thanks for the link, Sharon. That is what I have always found so funny about the Bushes: their pretenses at being just regular folks. The are the biggest bunch of phonies in the history of the republic. The tragedy is that so many voters fell for their bullshit hook, line and stinker.

January 20 just can't come soon enough for me. Remember his mantra during the 2000 campaign?

"I'm going to restore honor and integrity to the White House".

Doesn't it make you want to puke?

Cheers!

Tom Degan

 
At 2:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tom,

Thanks for your blog. It has made me laugh these past few years, and you have expressed perfectly the anger so many of us feel. Your sense of history, not just dates and facts, helps remind us that we as a nation have made mistakes, paid for those mistakes, quickly forgot the mistakes and repeated them. The human comedy will continue without this First Fool dancing for the masses.

I, too, look forward to having an adult with their finger on the doomsday devices and trying to steer our ship away from the rocks ahead. Mr. Obama sought and acheived this great office and for the life of me, I can not understand why. Who would want this job at this time? I can't imagine how he will accomplish ANYTHING because he has such a mess to clean up. He is starting out in the negative and Americans expectations are extremely high.

You think Georgie aged quickly? Mr. Obama will have white hair by the end of this year!

Let's all pray for peace and say an extra little prayer for the President-elect. Bless him for stepping up when most of us would run away.

Thanks again for hosting such a GREAT forum.

Peace,

Jo in Arizona

 
At 3:34 PM, Blogger Tom Degan's Daily Rant said...

Well, hell's bells, Jo!

That's just about the nicest thing anyone has yet to write on this site! Thank you for the kind words, my dear.

As the Beatles once said, "That means a lot".

Love and Peace,

Tom Degan

 
At 5:25 PM, Blogger Prairie Waif said...

Ah, the wheels of justice grind slowly, but ever so fine.

CNN reports that George W. loses his Secret Service Protection Detail in 10 years.

Why? He had the budget cut as "was it really necessary to protect them to the end of their days?"

Ah, Georgie, you are at the end of your days.

Ten years ya say. . . .

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger Jefferson's Guardian said...

I read the linked article, from Sharon, detailing Bush's early packing. Something that caught my eye, and is worth examination, describes exactly what they're packing: “They didn’t come with a lot of things; they didn’t bring a lot of furniture here. So mostly what they have are books [italics my own], obviously their clothes, and then some of the things that they’ve picked up along the way on their travels as they’ve traveled.”

We all know that Bush proudly, and smugly, professed that he didn't read newspapers. But apparently, according to Karl Rove, Bush is an avid reader of books, particularly biographies and history, a good portion of fiction, and each year he also reads the Bible from cover to cover. Now, this is the question that I have, and I'm sure many of your readers do also, does he understand, or comprehend, anything that he reads? I find it hard to believe that he does, because if he did...if he is as well-read as Rove claims he is...I can't understand how he'd be the most incompetent and foolish president we've ever known.

From here on out, the number "43" should be relegated to the pile of other unlucky things -- such as the Friday the 13th (or anything "13"), or walking under a ladder, or lighting three cigarettes with the same match, or...

 
At 9:55 AM, Blogger Tom Degan's Daily Rant said...

Frank, the notion Karl Rove is putting out that Bush is a "voracious reader" is just more Rovian spin. Quite frankly, I don't believe it. The First Fool's sycophants are desperately trying to white wash Bush's legacy and one of the things they are trying to "correct" is Bush's image as an idiot. It's not going to work.

Cheers!

Tom Degan

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger Anna Van Z said...

Cudos, Tom! Well done, my man, well done.
And also what larkrise and sharon said - agree 100%.

 
At 11:08 AM, Blogger stoney13 said...

Holy Shit!!! Only 9 days left!!! Wonder what President Pork Pie has planed for an encore! It'll have to be a real hoot!

Maybe a whirlwind world tour, bouncing off locked doors, bragging about shooting pigs, and dining with the good manners and rare grace of a cud-chewing goat! Then it's off to sneak up on important foreign dignitaries of the opposite sex, and grabbing them by the neck from behind!

Maybe he can bring Poppy Bush along to blow chunks all over who, and whatever body politic is unfortunate enough to host this circus!

And of course we must put Jeb on the plane, with his grand sword, and his invisible friend "Chang the Mystic Warrior" who he described in such great detail before the Florida Legislature, and STILL got reelected! (What the fuck is wrong with Florida?)

Better yet to forgo all this unleashing on the world the epitome of the "Family Ugly American" The world has suffered much at their hands, and needs no more grief from them!

Better to erect a stone marker, and on that marker engrave the following:

"January 20 2009. The End of an Error"

 

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