A Festival of Lunacy

 

President Babybrains

I never dreamed the day would come where I would be forced to write these words while simultaneously keeping a straight face. Alas, that day has come, so here goes:

 

One: The American people (or any people for that matter) should not inject disinfectant into their bodies. Two: They also should not - under any circumstances - ingest bleach. There's a jolly good reason why these products are kind enough to explain to us us what emergency precautions should be taken if they are accidentally swallowed. I'm just sayin'.

Watching the president's daily campaign rally inside the White House press room yesterday stunned me even! I thought I had become completely immune to the comical insanity of the Trump administration. I honestly believed that it had gotten as weird as it was ever going to possibly get, that we had reached the limit to this festival of lunacy. I was wrong of course; and between now and January 20, 2121, it's probably going to get a lot loonier. That's okay as far as I'm concerned. I've always been an insanity junkie and a huge fan of unintentional humor. When this disgusting administration is finally part of history, people like me will find themselves in the wilderness. There will be some adjustments to make. I'm ready for the challenge.

I'm trying to conjure up in my imagination the image of Franklin Roosevelt or Jack Kennedy - or even George W. Bush - doing something as ludicrous as suggesting that the people of a nation going through the trauma we are now experiencing, a trauma that is compounding by the day - that they poison themselves. I have to tell you that I wasn't quite prepared for something as surreal as that. I should have known better. I'll be better prepared the next time, I promise.

But even more shocking than the stupidity of the president of the United States, was the despicable reaction of Mitch McConnell, the senate majority leader. I am descended from generations of Kentuckians. I still have distant cousins who live there. Kentucky's place in my personal heritage is something I have never had a problem with - until the arrival on the scene of Mitch McConnell three decades ago. That a demographic of voters would be so consistently dumb as to keep sending a corrupt buffoon like Mitch to the senate baffles me to the core and beyond. His challenger this year is a woman named Amy McGrath. While she is gaining momentum on McConnell in the polls, it is almost impossible to believe that she is still one point behind him. What the hell is the matter with the people of that state? 

Amy McGrath and Putin's Bitch
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When Mitch referred to aid for the state of New York - the state suffering more than any other during this catastrophe - as a "blue state bailout", the old bastard should have been swallowed up whole by the earth at that moment. As my governor, Andrew Cuomo, was astute enough to point out yesterday, New York is one of the states in this union that puts out more cash to the federal government than it takes in. Of all those other states, Kentucky is Number Three in taking more than it gives. Mitch McConnell is, beyond a doubt, the most truly demonic member of that body to come along in m lifetime. And although Joseph McCarthy died the year before I was born, I would include him as part of that equation. For all of his faults, old Joe (at least behind the scenes) was a thoroughly likable guy. He was even pals with Jack Kennedy! I couldn't imagine JFK and Mitch in the same room on a bad day. It boggles the imagination.

The good news is that we have only nine months to contend with the Orange Jackass living in the house that was once occupied by Abraham Lincoln - I think. My theory is that The Donald has been encouraging his idiotic base to do so many reckless things because he knows that a massive second wave of breakouts in the autumn would allow him to use the pileup of bodies as an excuse to shut down the elections in November. What other reason could there be for him to promote such insane behavior on such a mass scale? Or maybe it's merely a symptom of Trump's already obvious insanity. Am I wrong in these theories? Perhaps. Perhaps not. We shall see.

Wasn't sending this nitwit to the White House a really neat idea?

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY

AFTERTHOUGHT:

Michael Cohen is out of prison due to the coronavirus pandemic and will spend the next two and a half years confined to his home. He is in the process of writing about his years with Donald Trump. He promises that the book will be on the shelves before the election. I'll be curious to see how the Trump Mob will try to make this book go away. Cohen says that he plans on exposing EVERYTHING.

Just a little something to look forward to, kids. May you live in interesting times.