2018: The Worst of The Rant

Me and cousin Madeline
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This is it, yet again: another year-end round up of the worst that this doomed nation has to offer. I wish I could tell you all that this is a joke - or a bad dream - but this is the reality of our lives. This is where we have come.

 

Idiot Nation.

 

January 4:

This was my theory a year before the catastrophic election of 2016 -  and you did indeed read it here first, folks! Trump never had any intention of becoming president of the United States. He was merely intending to "up his brand", so to speak. As we all know by now, his scheme backfired in ways that the hideous old bastard never dreamed possible. He should have heeded the advice of that great muckraker from a bygone era, H.L. Mencken. Donald Trump's lethal error was overestimating the intelligence of the American people. This is black comedy at its finest; and the funniest thing of all is the fact that it's all too deliciously true!

January 7:

Let's take a good look at what is now happening: the president of the United States is determined to send a former political opponent to prison. Now ask yourselves the following question: When was the last time something like that happened in this country? The simple answer is that it has never happened. In nearly two-and-a-third-centuries of presidential politics in the dark and strange history of Idiot Nation, not once has the victor in a national election ever sought to bring trumped-up charges (pun intended) against the person who ran against him. The campaign of 1800 between incumbent-President John Adams and Thomas Jefferson was the dirtiest, most bitter political battle in American history. Although the two men wouldn't correspond for many years after, I'm sure it never occurred to Jefferson to send his former friend and ally to the slammer. Old Tom had a helluva lot more class than that.

January 14:

With the passing of each interminable hour it seems, the sick joke that is the disgusting administration of Donald Trump just keeps getting sicker and sicker - a feat in itself when you think about it.  Are you looking for a convincing argument for obliterating the electoral college? Look no further. As long as that institution exists in what is supposed to be a democracy, imbeciles like Trump and George W. Bush are inevitable.

January 22:

I just had the most deliciously ironic thought: Germany is now the leader of the free world. The country that eighty years ago gave rise to Adolf Hitler and the Nazis - the nation that the United States saved the world from - is today our moral superior. Who would have thought? Our day on the mountaintop is over. The world will never trust us again. Can't say that I blame them much. Can you?

February 4:

Somewhere, I am almost certain, Oliver Hardy is laughing. Donald J. Trump has gotten himself in to another fine mess. There are too many Republicans in both the house and the senate who know that their chances of being re-elected in November are a fraction less than zero. As a result a whole helluva lot of them are retiring - "to spend more time with their families". Of course they are. And now that tooting the idiotic party line is no longer beneficial to their reputations, they're speaking their minds - to the utter detriment of Trump. One of these soon-to-be retirees is Trey Gowdy, an excitable right wing congressman from South Carolina. He will be bolting the congress next January after serving eight years. He said in no uncertain terms yesterday that that release of Devin Nunes' pathetic little memo should have no bearing on the Mueller investigation, and that the Feds were correct in their decision to peruse the Steele dossier. He's not the only one speaking his mind. Trump's political fortunes are devaluating by the day. Isn't this oodles of fun to watch?

February 16:

Here's a tasty little morsel of fact to munch on with your morning coffee: Since the massacre of twenty little girls and boys - and the six women whose job it was to educate and protect them - inside the Sandy Hook Elementary school on December 14, 2012, there have been over sixteen hundred mass shootings in the United States of America. Since that time over three-hundred shootings took place on the campuses of public schools. Ain't that a riot? On the day that the mutilated bodies of twenty little children - all barely out of infancy - became acceptable "collateral damage" to the House of Reprehensibles, the Senate and the National Rifle Association, this doomed country hurled itself - head first and smiling - straight into the pit of hell.

February 21:

Fifty years ago it was the college students of America that shook this country up and turned it around. This new revolution will be waged by mere teenagers in high school. They're standing up and are refusing to be sacrificed on the altars of political expediency, corporate greed and human stupidity. After sixteen students and one faculty member in their Parkland, Florida school were slaughtered last week by some homicidal psychotic who was able to obtain a rapid-fire weapon that, in a civilized country, he never would have had access to, the survivors of the massacre are determined that they are not going to live in a country where that sort of tragedy has become the new norm. They have decided that the politicians in Washington who are there merely to serve as handmaidens to the National Rifle Association are going to finally do the right thing by the children of this country or they're going to disappear forever.

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These kids are pissed, Buster. You'd better believe it.

February 25:

Let's just get it out in the open: while requiring the teachers of our children to carry a weapon may be a hysterically funny thing to even visualize (no argument there) it is also an appallingly bad idea. If you had told me on the day I started this site that in less than twelve years I would be writing about such things, I probably would have felt your forehead. Show me a president that is taking seriously the idea of turning our nation's schools into armed camps and I'll show you a president who has lost his fucking mind. Of course I have known this unsettling fact about Donald Trump for over three decades. Many of you had to find out the hard way. Life can be funny that way, you know?

March12:

The implosion is occurring before our eyes. Scores of administration officials have been fleeing like rats from this sinking ship. Vladimir Putin may be many things, but he's not an idiot. His goal was to weaken America by placing in the White House  a genuine idiot - and quite possibly a paid agent in the service of his government. If I'm correct in my suspicions (and I believe that I am) this is the worst possible nightmare we could ever have dreamed of  encountering. I'm not an advocate of the death penalty - and nothing is ever going to change that - but I think it is worth taking note of the fact that, sixty-five years ago in June, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were strapped into the electric chair and executed for far less than (what it is becoming more-and-more apparent with each passing day) the president of the United States of America is culpable of. No misdemeanors here, kiddies. These are the highest of crimes.

March 15:

It was a thrilling time to be alive. Being born in 1958, I could see the change. The clouds were ascending. I really believed that things would eventually turn for the better. I was barely old enough to remember the America of segregation and Jim Crow. In spite of the elevation of a failed, feeble-minded "B" movie actor, I never - for a moment - doubted that America would move forward. Even the arrival on the scene of George W. Bush was not enough to dim my essential optimism for the future of this country. By contrast with what we have now, Bush is starting to look presidential. And Reagan? He's starting to look like George Freakin' Washington! That was then. This is now. As far as my worthless generation is concerned, the party's over. It's time to call it a day. Our generation was handed a nation, that while not perfect, was functional. And what have we handed over to our descendants? A shithole. What a legacy!

March 25:

This week I am more optimistic for the future of this country than I've been since I can remember - perhaps more than I've ever been. Think about it: In November, kids who were born in the year 2000 will be voting for the first time. They are determined to be part of the process and they're pissed - you'd better believe it, Buster. Theirs is the generation that is going to save this nation, and they began to make their presence known during the March For Our Lives on Saturday, March 24, 2018 - a day that will be remembered in history. They will continue to be heard on Election Day in November. Theirs is the generation that is going to tear this country down and turn it around. 

March 29:

Ask yourselves the following question: If Donald Trump is as innocent as he claims to be, why has he been wasting so much of his precious POTUS time attempting to throw one wrench after another into the Mueller investigation's finely-oiled machine? As a fellow Republican remarked recently, if the president is innocent, he should act like he's innocent. In spite of all this, a report yesterday tells us that the man's polling numbers are up this week - by seven points - thirty-five to forty-two percent! When I first read these numbers my only thought was, what in the hell is the matter with these nutty Americans? Is it something in the Kool-Aid? Are the tin-foil hats wrapped around their little minds a tad too tight? Why are so many of us so easily deceived? To paraphrase Lyndon Johnson, I may not be a gourmet, but I can tell the difference between chicken salad and chicken shit. Something is seriously wrong with this picture.

April 22:

There was no doubt about it: the office of the speaker of the House was not a bit happy back in November when the Chaplain of that body offered a gentle prayer that the tax law which was being debated at that very moment be fair to everyone. Not an hour had gone by when one of Ryan's toadies made his way into the good father's office and let him know that he should focus his prayers on something a little less specific. Adhering to the philosophy of Jesus Christ was something that good Christians just don't do - not as far as the modern-day Republican party is concerned. All pretense of theirs being "the party of Christian values" should have gone out of the window and into the trash bin decades ago. This isn't a political party, it's a cult.

May 10:

A day no longer needs to pass. With the passing of each hour the scope and depth of the current administration's complete corruption astounds. Had you bothered to pay attention during the sense-crippling campaign of 2016, one knew in one's heart, with the announcement of Donald Trump’s victory in November, that this was going to end badly. The question is: who could possibly have anticipated that the catastrophe would be this pronounced? Who would have dreamed, sixteen months into this disgusting president’s reign of error and stupidity, that some of us would be nostalgic for George W. Bush? The most gratifying thing of all is the fact that even the stooges at Fox Noise (some of them anyway) are beginning to figure this out. These are incredible things to be able to bear witness to.

May 24:



Today just might turn out to be the day that the constitutional shit hits the old fan. In an unprecedented move that has legal scholars baffled (if not horrified) the Department of Justice caved in this week to the demands of the Republicans - with backing from the White House, of course - to allow Devin Nunes and Trey Gowdy, two unabashed supporters of the common pervert currently residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, access to the evidence that the Mueller team has, thus far, been able to accumulate on Trump and his cohorts. Naturally and not unreasonably, the Democrats have called "FOUL!". Although it is unheard of that a prosecutor would allow a prospective defendant's team to investigate evidence before an indictment is even issued, the Dems' argument is that it should be the bi-partisan "Gang of Eight" that should be the ones to review what Mueller has. White House spokes-stooge, Sarah Huckabee Sanders told reporters yesterday (with what I must assume was a straight face) that the reason the loyal opposition  won't be allowed into the process is because they haven't requested to be there.

June 16:

Why is this man smiling?

The heat just got turned up ten notches for Donald Trump. It's a fairly safe bet that, at this hour, the poor old geezer is in double freak out mode - screaming obscenities at the television in the middle of the night; gorging himself on cheeseburgers and ice cream; standing half naked in the dark on the Truman Balcony, cursing at fate, how it could have allowed him to be caught in the middle of the atrocious mess he now finds himself in. He's now at the point where he could easily be envious of Dick Nixon during the worst days of Watergate. That affair was nothing - a mere blip on the proverbial scandal screen. Treason is serious stuff. Has anyone reminded him that Tuesday will mark the sixty-fifth anniversary of the day that Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were executed in the electric chair for that very crime? Has it dawned on him the irony that it was his mentor, Roy Cohen, who prosecuted the two of him and sent them to their deaths? It must not be much fun being Donald Trump these days. Call it an educated guess.

June 18:

Donald Trump is what we have become, folks. He is everything, wrapped up into one repulsive human being that the rest of this tired planet has come to view in the American character with a sense of revulsion and alarm. We should have seen this self-inflicted catastrophe coming from ten-thousand miles down the road. We didn't. Idiot Nation.
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Around five years ago I wrote on this site that in a generation or so, we who call ourselves "white" would no longer be in the majority, and that the big story of the first half of the twenty-first century would be how we reacted to this new reality. This week we were all given a nasty preview of how ugly this new change is going to be.

June 26:

Remember the good old days when Donald Trump was merely a goldmine-source of unintentional comedy? That's not to say that the guy is no longer ripe for satire and dark humor; he is. The problem is that what has happened to America is no longer particularly funny. I've been saying for nearly eighteen months, "This is going to end badly". The word "bad" can be read in many different ways. I fell down a flight of stairs in my house a couple of months back, and while this not a good thing it certainly wasn't "tragic". The administration of Donald J. Trump is going to end tragically - and not just for him, his associates and his family. This administration is going to end tragically for all of us. The writing is on the wall, folks - minus the errors of grammar, spelling and punctuation.

July 18:

Imagine....just imagine....if Barack Obama, standing next to the president of the former Soviet Union, had sold out his country as blatantly and as shamelessly as Donald Trump did two days ago at the Helsinki "summit" between himself and Vladimir Putin. Can you even imagine the howl of unanimous, righteous indignation that would have exploded from the conservatives within congress and without? Fox Noise and the right wing SCREAM MACHINE would have blown their collective gaskets; The House Judiciary Committee would not have bothered  waiting for the niceties of the impeachment process. They would have lynched him on the spot. There are a different set of rules in our society for men with dark skin. Don't you forget it, Bubba.

July 28:

I'm not implying that der Donald would shoot his former "fixer" out in the middle of New York City for all the world to behold, but Cohen must sleep a little uneasy these days knowing about the character of the man he worked for at one time. Given the fact that Vladimir Putin has made quite an investment in the very existence of a Trump administration, and taking into consideration that THE VLAD is not unknown for sending hired assassins out on little "errands" - in other countries even - poor old Michael must be just a bit nervous these mornings when he puts the keys in his ignition.

August 7:

What the hell is going on here? Why on earth would the Donald stupidly go on Twitter and admit that, yes, his "wonderful son" Donald Jr. did, in fact, meet with operatives of the Putin government inside of Trump Tower in June of 2016 in order to obtain intelligence ("dirt") on Hillary Clinton, but that it was merely politics as usual and that everybody does it. Nothing to see here, folks! Break it up, the show's over! Everybody just move along!

August 21:

With the conviction of Paul Manafort a lot of things can happen now. Is he counting on a pardon from the Donald? Is a pardon forthcoming? Has some kind of shady deal been made? I kind of doubt that Paulie is going to fall on his sword like a good soldier and go gently into the night. If he really has something completely damaging on the president I imagine he's stalling for time waiting for his sentencing. His problem (and it's a big one) is that the second trial involves the state of New York, where a presidential pardon is not applicable. When that trial is over my theory is that Trump will issue a pardon.

August 28:

 

When McCain first sought the presidency in 2000, he beat George W. Bush early on in the New Hampshire primaries. Next on the trail was South Carolina. The Bush Mob went into that state with a nicely revamped version of the so-called "Southern Strategy" used so effectively by Dick Nixon during the campaign of 1968. In a series of "robo-calls" that bombarded that state, a recorded voice asked potential voters a series of questions. One of those questions was "How would you react if you were to learn that Senator John McCain had fathered a child with a black prostitute?" A few years earlier, John and his wife, Cindy, had adopted a dark-skinned baby, orphaned in South Asia. Bush and his henchmen knew damned well that South Carolinians would see campaign photographs of the McCain family and put two-and-two together. It was the most despicable political dirty trick in modern times: exploiting the love that this couple offered a homeless little girl in order to bring into existence the most corrupt administration in the history of this republic - up to that time.

September 3:

One has to seriously wonder what the people in his inner circle are thinking these days. Are they walking on cracked egg shells? My suspicion is that they're telling this president everything he wants to hear. Those are the types of people Donald Trump has always surrounded himself with. That's why this disgusting administration was doomed for failure. Jack Kennedy, Barack Obama and Dwight Eisenhower always had advisors on hand who would let them know when they were blowing it. Not Trump. All he's ever known in his career are blubbering sycophants, yessing him to his heart's content. Now the silly dingbat is cornered with nowhere to flee to. Bobby Mueller and company are zeroing in and the Donald is desperate. This is ending very badly.

September 12:

There will be no Donald J. Trump Schools - public or private. There will be no Donald J. Trump Memorial Highways. There will be no Donald J. Trump National Parks. There will be no Donald J. Trump Airports. There will be no Donald J. Trump Hospitals. There will be no Donald J. Trump Centers for the Arts. There will be no statues erected to the memory of Donald J. Trump. There will be no Donald J. Trump Presidential Library and Museum.
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There's never going to be a Donald J. Trump Memorial Anything. Okay, I'll compromise: perhaps they might one day dedicate a Donald J. Trump Memorial Rest Area in the center of the Long Island Expressway; a place where weary motorists might stop to relieve themselves. Yeah, that would possibly work; but other than that....

September 19:

It all comes down to this: the president of the United States is seriously - dangerously - disturbed. This situation (amusing as it is) cannot continue. It is obvious that Donald J. Trump is a paid agent on a hostile foreign government. Vladimir Putin put the bastard in office for the sole purpose of doing as much damage to America's political infrastructure as is possible to do - and Trump is cheerfully complying. As things stand now, that damage will take a generation or more to be undone. If he is allowed to complete this first term, or, Heaven forbid, be elected to a second, we will be long past the point of no return. This is an emergency. Calling all cars.

October 5:

This cannot be emphasized enough: A president who is now under criminal investigation for possible treason should not be nominating anyone to the Supreme Court. Brett Kavanaugh is on record for having stated that a president has the constitutional right to pardon himself for any high crimes and misdemeanors committed while in office. When asked if he still believed this nonsense last week during his confirmation hearings (which seems like a hundred years ago) the judge refused to answer the question. It is for this reason alone, I believe, that he was Donald Trump's choice. When he was filtered by the Trump Mob for the nomination, was he asked if he still believed that a president had a license to break the law? My bet is that he was - and that his answer was a resounding "YES". If it is proved that the president of the United States conspired with a hostile foreign power to subvert the results of a national election, then all of his judicial appointments should be impeached.

10/27/18:

Something occurred this week that hasn't happened in over a century and a half - Friday April 14, 1865 to be precise: a mass assassination attempt. That was the night when Johnny Booth and his band of misfit conspirators attempted to murder President Abraham Lincoln, Vice-President Andrew Johnson, and Secretary of State William Henry Seward. Lincoln, as we all know, didn't survive the night. Seward was seriously wounded while Johnson's assailant got cold feet at the last moment. When America woke up to the news of the attacks on the following morning, Saturday April 15, it began one of the darkest periods of morning in the history of the United States up to that point. Those were some pretty strange days in America. These are some pretty strange days in America, too. Strange days indeed.

November 15:

It didn't take der Donald very long to fire Jeff Sessions as attorney general. Anyone paying even moderate attention knew that the dirty old psychopath would do the deed after the midterms were over; but even as blatant a cynic as I was surprised at the speed with which it was carried out. Scarcely a day after the polls closed across Idiot Nation, poor old Jefferson Beauregard was sent a'packin. Trump never attempted to conceal his reasoning: Sessions had recused himself from oversight of Robert Mueller's investigation into the 2016 Trump campaign's possible conspiracy with a hostile foreign government to subvert the election process. Trump saw this as an act of disloyalty. Had he been smart (which, of course, he isn't) he could have saved himself a wee bit of face by saying that he gave Sessions the old heave ho because he is, in non-debatable fact, the most incompetent, racist attorney general in a century or more. He didn't. I guess he couldn't bring himself to even feign compassion for any minority.

November 24:

These days I am at the point where I don't even like leaving my house. There's too much transpiring on an hourly basis to distract one's attention from the computer screen - and I've misplaced the damned cellphone! This black comedy has taken on a new meaning with an ominous plot-shift. The time it took for this country to get to this point was at such a glacial-nails-pace that, if you weren't paying attention between 1981 and now, you didn't notice the change. That's one of my most debilitating curses: I make it a point to pay attention to these kinds of things. I'm nostalgic for Ronald Reagan. George W. Bush is starting to look like Theodore Roosevelt. I can scarcely believe that I wrote those last two sentences. The damage that American politicians have done to this doomed nation is going to take generations to undo - if it is ever undone at all.  The United States of America has become too unhinged to be taken seriously any longer. All bets are off. This is the way it's going to be from now on.

It's become a freaking mantra for me: Get used to living in a nation in ruins.

November 27:

A state run propaganda television network run by Donald Trump? Call it a silly hunch on my part but I don't think that this is a particularly good idea. State TV is something usually associated with Russia or China - not the United States of America. Having said that, I do hope that it does indeed comes to fruition. Let's face it, folks, something like that would be an absolute howl, and would only offer volumes of material for people like me. Can you imagine? Watching grownups trying to put a smiley face on the carcass of a decomposing pig is always oodles of fun. That's what makes Fox Noise (Sean Hannity and Fox and Friends in particular) such a scream to watch.

November 29:

The comparisons are irresistible: on the one hand we have Team Mueller - noses to the grindstone, determined and dedicated, steely-eyed and serious professionals. On the other hand there are Donald Trump and Paul Manafort - stumbling about with one foot in the grave and the other foot on a banana peel. For every clever legal "maneuver" they seem to be digging themselves deeper. It goes without saying that the two of these clowns have met their match in Bob Mueller, and it sure is an amusing to behold. With the passing of each day - of each hour - this scandal gets more and more intriguing.  

December 14:

Our esteemed president didn't do himself any favors the other day when he sat down for a photo-op with his political opposition in the Oval Office. It was quite a scene to be sure. Donald Trump, Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer were quite animated throughout the event. Mike Pence, on the other hand, looked for all the world as if he was auditioning for the lead role in the sequel of Weekend At Bernie's

December 18:

If this president was not so blatantly transparent it would be a lot easier to take him seriously. We're now threatened with a government shutdown on Friday if Trump doesn't get his five billion for the wall on the border of Mexico. That money will not be forthcoming and it's a cinch to predict that the Christmas Shutdown of 2018 is going to happen. Why would the Donald do something so stupid and reckless? I'm sure I'm not the only person to have figured this out, but by shutting down the government Trump believes he will be able to shut down the investigation that is currently being done on the conspiracy to corrupt the election of 2016. This is what the despicable little thug is up to - count on it. It was something to behold.

 

December 29:

Donald Trump's shutdown last week of the government he's charged with overseeing was the icing on an extremely nasty tasting cake. The damage that this obviously demented old freak is doing to the nation that he doesn't even pretend to love will be lasting and (I'm starting to fear) irreparable. The experts tell us that it is unfair and wrong to diagnose mental illness in someone without a thorough examination of that person's psychological makeup. I disagree entirely. You don't need a doctorate in order to understand that the ragged man standing on the corner of West 52nd Street and 8th Avenue screaming obscenities at pigeons has got some serious issues. Such is the case with the president of the United States. It was obvious three-and-a-half years ago when he announced his candidacy. It was obvious for thirty years to anyone of us who bothered to pay even scant attention to this guy. Not enough people were paying attention during the campaign of 2016. They're starting to pay attention in the final days of 2018. Have you noticed that?

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Wasn't that a time? 2018 is over. Good riddance.

Tom Degan

Goshen, NY