If there is one thing that has always tickled the heck out of me, it is the absolutely pathological disdain with which Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas, views affirmative action. Not just the program itself, but the people who have benefited from that program - people like himself! To hear the good judge say it, you would think that it was the worst idea in American history!
According to Uncle Thomas in his recently published memoir, My Grandfather's Son, when he received his diploma from Yale Law School, he put a "fifteen cents" sticker on it and relegated it to the basement of his home. You see, Clarence Thomas believes that it was the very existence of affirmative action that made his law degree all-but-worthless. To his way of thinking, he would have been much better off had he just pursued his dream of becoming a lawyer only on the merits of his talent and abilities and not relied on the good intentions of all those evil, white, liberal, do-gooders. In his mind, his place on the Supreme Court would today be all-the-more significant and he would be sitting on that revered bench free of the guilty conscience that obviously torments him to this very day. His place in the halls of justice would have meant so much more had all of those silly and stupid Great Society types not interfered with his ambitions.
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Question: Just where do you think Clarence Thomas would be today had it not been for affirmative action?
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Answer: He would be mounted on the front lawn of some beer distributor's home in Albany, Georgia, wearing a jockey uniform and holding a lamp.
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Malcolm X used to tell the parable of the Field Negro and the House Nigger. The Field Negro worked the plantation - worked it hard, Jack! From dawn to dusk, he would be out there breaking his back, spilling his blood, and without a single break! He was frequently subjected to savage beatings by the overseer, even for the simple offence of being too physically exhausted to carry on. Oh, he hated the Master. He hated that old bastard with a passion so deep and unbending that he would not have been able to express it in words had he tried. He had dark, vivid fantasies about ending the life of the lord of the plantation - and the lives of his wife and heirs - through an act of cold blooded murder. His only ambition was to escape his soul-destroying existence of tormented, unrelenting, physical hardship.
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The House Nigger, on the other hand, had a pretty sweet deal by comparison. He worked inside the home, setting the table, making the beds, and preparing the meals. He loved his Massah! There was nothing he wouldn't do for him. If he saw another slave committing an infraction against Massah's strict rules, he made damned good and sure that Massah found out about it to ensure that the poor bugger would be beaten silly. Whatever Massah wants, Massah gits! Yassah! When the House Nigger went to bed at night, he had nothing but sweet, contented dreams about Massah. When the Field Negro was able to get what little sleep was available to him, he dreamed only that the Master would die.
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Minister Malcolm was the modern day equivalent of the Field Negro: one who despises the sick, racist system that we're all forced to live in and dedicates his or her life to pulverizing that system to dust. To put it in Hollywood terms, when you think of the House Nigger, think of Stepin Fetchit. When you think of the Field Negro, think of Ossie Davis. That illustrates it beautifully! If the term "House Nigger" ever makes into Webster's Dictionary, it's only safe to assume that there will be a engraved etching of Clarence Thomas' utterly clueless face next to its definition.
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These disgusting, subservient Negros have become more and more visible in the last quarter of a century. Condoleeza Rice, Tony Brown and Michael Powell (Bush's Chairman of the FCC and Colin's half-witted kid) come immediately to mind. I have to believe that ideology had not a thing to do with their joining the fold. It was nothing more than cynical opportunism on their part. Let's face some serious facts here, folks: African American faces at Democratic gatherings are a dime a dozen. If a black man or woman really wants to be noticed, it has be at a gathering of Republicans. The reason is quite simple: No sane and rational person of color - in his or her right mind - could possibly support the extremist, racist policies of the kooks, criminals and fools who have hijacked that party! That is why there are so few of them "in the tent", so to speak.
A black person in the Republican camp has one hell of an opportunity to stand out - and maybe even make a little extra bread on the side (as Armstrong Williams did when he was paid a quarter of a million dollars in taxpayer cash by the current administration to promote their No Child Left Behind scam). It also gives the Great White Father the opportunity say to the rest of the world, "See? We really are the party of all the people!" It is a mutually beneficial arrangement: Quid pro quo. One hand washes the other; ya know what I mean?
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Back in 1980, the GOP had a little problem. By that stage in the game, the "Party of Lincoln" had lost all credibility with the descendants of slaves. It didn't help matters any when Ronald Reagan launched his campaign that year from the little town of Philadelphia, Mississippi - a town whose only claim to fame was the brutal murder of three civil rights workers there in the summer of 1964. (Shame on us if we ever forget their names: James Chaney, Andrew Goodman and Michael Schwerner). At the time, it really didn't surprise anyone who knew the Gipper's history. After all, Ronnie's first exposure as a political figure was in 1964 when he made a nationally televised speech supporting the candidacy of Barry Goldwater. It was during this tirade of an address that he condemned the Johnson administration for the Civil Rights Act which had been passed earlier that year.
His not-too-subtle message sixteen years later in Philadelphia was as clear as a bell: "Jim Crow's gonna have a friend in my White House." The nasty little reality facing the Grand Old Party was their well deserved reputation for being the Party of the White Man. Every television picture of every crowd at every convention always showed the same old faces: WHITE FACES. All they had to do, at the very least, was give the illusion of inclusion. Well now, just how the hell were they going to do that?
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America's House Niggers bravely came to the rescue.
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By the time the conventions of 2000 and 2004 rolled around, the crowd shots still showed almost entirely white faces. So where were all these newly recruited Black Republicans, you may ask? THEY WERE ALL UP ON THE STAGE - EVERY FREAKING ONE OF THEM!!! Oh, my goodness! That was a funny sight, indeed! It looked so much like an old time minstrel show with all of those smiling, slap-happy and pathetic Uncle Toms shufflin' 'cross the podium! I thought I was watching a tribute to Scatman Crothers:
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We got wings
'Dey got wings
All God's chil'en got wings!
All God's chil'en got wings!
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Watching this tragicomic spectacle on television, I remember thinking to myself, Just where do they find these assholes???
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In 1991, Judge Thomas scored the the ultimate affirmative action gig. Legendary Justice, Thurgood Marshall, the first African American in history to serve on the Supreme Court (in ill health and with not long to live) was retiring and George Bush the elder thought he could score some political points on both sides of the aisle. He would please the liberals by appointing another Black man, while at the same time appeasing the right wing by making sure that the Black man in question was a half-witted, reactionary darkie. He didn't have to look far to find the man who fit the bill: Clarence Thomas was there, ready to do his bidding for dear ol' Massah. What a great trick Poppy must have thought he had pulled off! One can only imagine Judge Thomas sitting in the oval office, congratulating the president on his political chicanery:
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"Hee! Hee! Oh, Mistah White Folks, you sho' is sly!!"
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Thomas' confirmation hearing, which was initially expected to sail through the senate, hit a snag early on in the process because of the disturbing accusations of a woman named Anita Hill. (We won't go into the sordid details here - Hey! Even I have standards of decency, thank you very much!) After a long and contentious fight (Thomas describing it as a "high tech lynching"), he was able to win over a few of his more timid, Democratic detractors and was then confirmed as an Associate Justice to the Supreme Court of the United States of America. He has been dutifully making the lives of black people in this country miserable ever since.
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Clarence Thomas, the ultimate House Nigger, is a sad, bitter and confused man. In 1958, the year I was born, the very idea that an African American would one day sit on the Supreme Court would have been dismissed as ludicrous by even the most liberal minded person. It is because of the very policies that Thomas so despises - policies placed into law by the progressive-minded lawmakers he views with such utter contempt - that he is where he is today. The very fact that he would want to pull up the ladder that made it possible for him to climb to the pinnacle of his profession - thereby preventing other members of his oppressed race from achieving the same opportunities that he so skillfully exploited - is one of the most despicable things I have ever been forced to witness as an American citizen. No law or program is perfect and affirmative action is no exception. One of its glaring imperfections is the undeniable truth that it occasionally allows someone of mediocre ability and intellect to rise to the top of the heap. Clarence Thomas' very presence on the highest court in the land is an embarrassing testament to that truth.
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Bill Maxwell is an African American writer for the St. Petersburg Times. In an excellent and moving opinion piece that was published yesterday in the Times Herald-Record of Middletown, NY, he reminisced about his early years as a scholarly but dirt-poor black kid from the deep South and the advantages that came his way because, one fine day, some whiny, cheese-eating, latte-swirling liberal recognized his great talent as a writer and chose him to become an "affirmative action baby":
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"Thomas got into Holy Cross and Yale University Law School through affirmative action programs. I got into the University of Chicago the same way....Affirmative action had opened up this rich world to me, a young black man born into Southern poverty. I was proud to be at the University of Chicago. I wore a "U of C" sweatshirt everywhere. Clarence Thomas' diploma may be worth fifteen cents to him. My degree from the University of Chicago is priceless."
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Amen, Brother Bill. Amen.
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Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
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SUGGESTED READING:
Black Like Me
by John Howard Griffin
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Notes of a Native Son
by James Baldwin
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The Autobiography of Malcolm X
by Malcolm X (with Alex Haley)
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Nigger
by Dick Gregory
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