Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Ballad of McCain and Unable

Have you seen the bigger piggies in their starched, white shirts?
You will find the bigger piggies stirring up the dirt
Always have clean shirts

To play around in....
George Harrison

Consider this: The American economy is on the verge of collapse. Lives are being lost on a daily basis in a two-front war. Our infrastructure is coming apart. Hundreds of thousands of people all across this troubled land are losing their jobs not to mention their homes. As I write these words, the city of Houston, Texas is being destroyed by Hurricane Ike. With all this going on, what do you think these silly, half-witted Republicans have the entire country debating? Lipstick on a pig.
As the late, great Jack Parr used to say, "I kid you not".
In their sties with all their backing
They don't care what goes on around
In their eyes there's something lacking
What they need is a damned good whacking!
The "controversy" (if that's what you want to call it) revolves around Barack Obama's description earlier this week of John McCain's economic policies:
"You can put lipstick on a pig and it's still a pig."
"SEXISM!" screamed the loony right wing, "That's a direct smear of the vice-presidential candidate! How cruel! How thoughtless! How could he? The poor woman! Oh, the poor, poor woman!"
I think that it reveals a lot about what they really think of their V.P. nominee. The moment the word "pig" escaped Obama's lips, the first thing that came to their minds was Sarah Palin. Very interesting indeed.
This is straight out of the Karl Rove Playbook: Distract, distort and divide. They obviously can't discuss "the issues", so to speak; they can't run on the basis of their ideas because their ideas (or, rather, their "ideology") is atrocious. So, what to do? Create a controversy out of think air. Ignore the fact that if you google the phrase, "lipstick on a pig", you will be able to find a score or more of Republican politicians using those words in the last year alone. Ignore the fact that the title of the book written by John McCain's former (and female) press secretary was "Lipstick on a Pig". Ignore the fact that when asked last year about Hillary Clinton's plan for health care, the Arizona senator himself inarticulately replied, "The latest proposal I see is putting lipstick on a pig".
Forget all of that. Just ignore it.
All that matters really matters is the fact that this BLACK man called our precious Sarah, our darlin' and delicate flower of the northwest - "a pig".
And what spastic vessel transported them to this weird island of twisted logic you may well ask? Don'cha see? Last week Sarah Palin said that the only difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull is lipstick. See? She said "lipstick". He said "lipstick". He called her a pig! See? See?
Yes....yes, I know what you're thinking. No, it doesn't get any stupider than this.
What we are witnessing here is pure desperation. It also reveals that Camp McCain knows damned well that there are a lot of Americans out there who are just stupid enough to fall for this bullshit (Attention, viewers of FOX and Friends). What it all boils down to is this: When the focus is on the issues, it's a good day for Senator Obama. When the focus is lipstick on a pig, it's a good day for Senator McCain. Chris Matthews of MSNBC put it perfectly when he called it "a brilliant distraction from eight years of Republican failure".
The lip rouge affair was soon overshadowed by our gal Sarah's interview on ABC News. When asked by Charlie Gibson what she thought of the Bush Doctrine, it was comically apparent she wasn't even able to define it. "In what respect, Charlie?" She didn't know. Nary a freaking clue. It really was a scream to watch! When asked about the Bush policy of preemptive strike against a sovereign nation, she said that a president had the absolute right to do anything if he or she believed that that nation was about to strike. The fact that Saddam Hussein had neither the intention nor the ability to "strike" at anything or anyone - and that the Bush Mob knew it - mercifully never came up.
When McCain first put forward the name of this twit to be second on the ticket, I damn near jumped with joy. "This election is over, baby!" I said out loud. Then I caught myself: J. Danforth Quayle. Remember him? Dan Quayle's historical image as an idiot has been somewhat softened in recent years. When compared to George W. Bush, the guy is starting to look like Einstein. But that doesn't take away from the fact that when George the elder chose Danny boy as his running mate twenty years ago, it was perfectly, laughably obvious that he could not have come up with a worse running mate if he had tried - and yet he won that election.
Just consider the criteria of the electorate! In 2000 and and 2004 George W. Bush was respectively able to defeat the far more qualified candidates, Al Gore and John Kerry, for no other reason than the fact that he was the one most people would prefer to have a beer with. That is what we are dealing with here. Actually, I have a confession to make: There is no other politician - living or dead - with whom I would rather have a beer than Bush - for no other reason than it would give me the golden opportunity to smash the hideous little bastard in the face with an unopened bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
.The sad fact of the matter is that the GOP can end up winning this thing despite having so deplorable a candidate as Governor Palin on the ticket. Watching the McCain campaign, particularly during the last four or five days, has been all-at-once funny and disturbing. Funny because (let's face some serious facts here, people) the gut-wrenching stupidity of the American people is always loads of fun to watch (SA-RAH! SA-RAH!) Disturbing because in the long run, the future of our children will be negatively effected by what could very well be the outcome of this election. By that I mean a McCain/Palin victory on Election Day.
My advice to the Obama Campaign would be as follows:
Please, folks, don't make the same mistake John Kerry made four years ago. When attacked from all sides, Kerry insisted on remaining "above it all". Bad move. The Democrats have got to get down - right into the gutter - with these despicable assholes. It's their only hope. As far as politics are concerned, they have to realize that they are now living in the Age of Rove. If there is any thing we have learned these past eight years, it is that the Republicans only know how to fight one way - DIRTY. The Dems have to give back as good (or as bad) as they get They have no other choice. None.
Can you remember the headline of London's Daily Mirror the day following the election of 2004?
Given all the damage that the Republicans have done to our beloved country these past fourteen years, I can just imagine what their headline will be if the electorate compounds the mistake of Sending the Bush Mob to the White House by electing the team of John McCain and Sarah Palin:
A very grim scenario any way you slice it or dice it. And then there is the very real possibility of election fraud. Don't forget all of those computerized, easily hackable Diebolt voting machines that have been conspicuously installed in all of the so-called "purple states", where a GOP Victory is not-at-all a foregone conclusion. Should the results on Election Day conflict with the exit polls (as they did in Florida in 2000 and Ohio in 2004) a full-blown, national revolt will most definitely be in order. We cannot allow this country to be seized by people whose only motivation is the looting and plunder of our economy. That will be the cue for all of us who believe in the words of the Bill of Rights to screw the system by any means necessary - within the law and without. Raise hell! Refuse to pay taxes! And, most importantly, be heard. Be loud. Be very VERY LOUD. It's time for all of us to brush up on Dr. King's course of non-violent, passive resistance.
Everywhere there's lots of piggies, living piggy lives
You can see them out for dinner with their piggy wives
Clutching forks and knives
To eat their bacon
The Chinese have a blessing which is also a curse: "May you live in interesting times". Well, heck! While these may not be blessed times, they sure as hell are interesting!
Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
Good Night Bush
by Gan Golar and Erich Origen
This is a screamingly funny parody of the childhood classic, "Good Night, Moon" by Margaret Wise Brown and Clement Hurd. My beloved niece Marieke Pennings (Hello, darling!) gave it to me for my birthday. It's an absolute hoot!
There are one-hundred and twenty-eight days until we are free of George W. Bush!


At 10:36 AM, Blogger stoney13 said...

Yea, Tom! I would like to smash Bush in the head with a bottle of "Pabst Blue Ribbon" myself! But "Pabst Blue Ribbon" hasn't been made for an awful long time, and if you have any, hang on to it, it will be a collector's item very soon!

Better that Bush be rewarded with a crack to the cranium with a bottle of "Old Frothing Slosh" or some other commodity which at this very minute is being consumed beside railroad tracks across this great country of ours! Good old fashioned "Mad Dog 20/20" or "Richardson's Wild Irish Rot" also springs to mind!

And Pig Little Sarah... oops! I mean Poor Little Sarah! How horrible for her that every, and I mean EVERY talking point, and statement made by her and "St. John the Semiconscious", has been proven to be lies, and profoundly so! MSNBC is running a streamer right now that says BOTH of McSame's new adds are "erroneous"! MSNBC is very kind! I call them LIES!!! Lies from a liar schooled by even bigger liars of the rarest skill in the concoction, and proud pronunciation of LIES!

All thanks to the efforts of Professor Karl Rove! King of Crap! Baron of Bullshit! The rarest of minds from whose squirming depths spring all the lies the Bush has spoken, for the entirety of his political life!

He, from whose lips and pen, spring that which fertilizes the finest of fuck ups! The great, and mighty elephant who shits in your living room, and calls it a good thing!

Oh yes good people! King Karl the Krapmiester has indeed been lending his skills to the House of McSame! All you have to do is watch the bouncing bullshit balls! It's LIES!!!! ALL LIES!!!

It makes you want to scream at the fuck sticks in the voting lines, "IDIOTS!!!! CAN'T YOU SEE!!! 'To Serve America' IS A COOK BOOK!!!!"

*sigh* I need to quit smoking pot, while watching "The Twilight Zone" at 3:00 in the morning!

At 11:04 AM, Blogger Tom Degan said...

Stoney, you never cease to amaze me. Always right on target. You take no prisoners, pal!

So Pabst went out of business, huh? I'll be danged.

Tom Degan

At 12:45 PM, Blogger HAPPY IN NEVADA said...

Super post, Tom! I'm beginning to think there are more uninformed voters than informed, and that's what McCain is relying on.

The lack of education and the dynamics of STIMULATION (as McCain has tried to do with Miss Piggy), is what I'm sure his advisers and the public polls/research data, have indicated that all he has to do is 'do glitz' - 'make noise' - 'cause excitement', and the voters will ride high on this as they plop their vote for the this woman who is nothing but a token for the cause; a 'bauble' in McCain's pocket.

McCain would NEVER have picked a 'guy' with the same 'credentials' (or lack of) that Palin has.

Palin is a loud-mouth; she is abrasive - she is brutal; she is a liar, and about the only thing I imagine she can do is down beer and shots 'with the guys'........


At 1:21 PM, Blogger Saltwater said...

Hi Tom
I haven't commented for a while but I still read all your blog posts.

Great rant. I agree with everything you write. I came to the same conclusions on my own, as you did, and it is amazing to read something that I wish I had written myself. Funny, too, because that great old Beatles song has also been on my mind lately.
I think (I mean, hope) Sarah Palin will snap or break down from the pressure of being worshipped and then scrutinized. I know it would make me snap to go through all that.
And now that the honeymoon is nearly over, people are starting to wonder about answers to the harder questions.
I wish she would save herself and the rest of the country from embarrassment (or worse) and just go home to Alaska and stay the hell there.
I wonder if she has already regretted saying yes to McCain.

But the evango-fascist
"Christians" are pretty tough. They may be wrong, but they stick together and dig in. One thing I admire is that, although doing evil and believing in falsehoods, they are very dedicated to their ideas, and are as full of purpose and action as alcoholics killing snakes. They don't fight by the rules, but they do fight hard, in order to win -by almost any dirty trick.
So I have to admit they are committed-- which is one reason why it is not safe to laugh at them too much. Unfortunately, they need to be taken seriously by us saner folks.
I don't even think they are real Christians. I think the "fundamentalist" or "Evangelical" we see today are basically part of a cult, a cult derived from Christianity but not Christian.
Because it is a very large cult, it gets to call itself a church or a movement.
And it is part and parcel with the Neocons and their wars and tortures in the King George 2 Crusade against the infidel/..

I sense that such people- and Palin seems to be one- hold on like a- yes, a pit bull!- even when wrong.
Perhaps the pit bull analogy Palin used can be seen in that light- a pit bull will hold on, like an idiot, 'even unto death'. It will hold on even if someone is beating it with a 2x4. You gotta have at least a hammer or the thing won't get its jaws off the throat of whatever it is trying to kill.
( note: My own English setter has been attacked twice by pit bulls, the second time very seriously.)

I think Palin's "qualifications" as a barracuda and a pit bull without lipstick should make America pause and rethink its infatuation with the woman.
P.S. I don't think she is "hot" either. I think she is a crazy bi**h. Sorry, but-IMHO- the word was invented for women like her.

I don't want her or McCain anywhere near commanding the military forces of the USA.
McCain apparently wants to have his own war or wars, since he deserves it... after all, George Bush and George Bush got to have THEIR wars.So it's "Not fair!" if little old Johnny McCain doesn't get to have one too.

Say NO to Palin/McCain (ok, McCain/Palin)
SAy YES to Obama/Biden.

At 7:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Revolution is the only way out of this duopoly quagmire my friends. We must run them all down Pennsylvania
Avenue, tarred and feathered.

At 11:47 AM, Blogger Blaine said...

Great post. I won't know what to tink if US elects Palin / McCain. Voter fraud not withstanding. I don't have a good feeling about this, it's "whom I'd rather have a beer with" all over again. How can the electorate be so friggin' simpleminded? USA should split into two countries, I think that's the only option. Things arn't much better here in Canada though. Sigh.

At 11:49 AM, Blogger Blaine said...

PS- Pabst Blue Ribbon is still manufactured, and it's actually been quite genius about becoming the "hipster" beer of choice- with little to no advertising!!!


At 2:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats for making it to the peek over at Alternet. For sure, the truth you've been talkin' about for quite a while has been picked up. I sure hope they read the rest of your "rants".
I also hope that some go over to Mudflats and get the skinny on how Alaskans view their candidate.
They held an anti-Sarah rally at the Anchorage library, and the grassroots effort has not gone now, so will your "rants",
Keep going, my friend. There's far too much at stake.
The impending global financial meltdown (see Greenspan's recent comments) will need a true leader to help us find our way out of the forest of deceit wherein we've become lost.

At 5:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not an American. I never felt very pro-American, given the things they've done across the world (which people there just don't seem to know about). After Sept 11, I felt bad for them. That feeling of empathy dried up after their invasion of Iraq. If they elect McCain, they put the whole world in danger. And never again will I feel sympathy for them.

At 6:01 PM, Blogger Tom Degan said...

Thank you for the kind words. Your congratulations regarding AlterNet had me somewhat puzzled until I checked out the site and saw my piece posted there. THAT made my day - and thankyou for the kind words.

I agree with you. If this country foolishly compunds the mistake of sending the Bush Mob to White House eight years ago by electing McCain/Palin, we're going to deserve EVERYTHING that happens to us. Just never forget this one thing, my friend: not all Americans are pleased about what is happening to their country. There are people here who are outraged and horrified by what has happend to the United States of America.


Tom Degan

At 10:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's a fitting alternative to Pabst--
Arrogant Bastard Ale

At 10:50 AM, Blogger Jefferson's Guardian said...

“Am I my brother’s keeper?”

Yes, it seems the Republican machine is working overtime to convince an uneducated, incredibly ignorant, superficially self-indulgent population that Sarah Palin is the next-in-line to "have a beer with". Incredibly, (Mc)Cain, along with his equally inept sidekick, (Un)Abel, are drawing the multitudes into their camp -- hook, line, and sinker. This time, though, C & A are colluding to murder what's left of the American Constitution, along with ransacking our middle and working classes of all they gained over the last few generations.

America. Isn't it a great place for political, high-stakes, drama? While the country, fueled by a corporate media slight-of-hand, debates the insincerities of lipstick-on-a-pig and other drama worthy only of Star and National Enquirer, we sink closer-and-closer towards economic oblivion.

Tell me, do you think this was what it was like just prior to October 29, 1929? Are we staring into the abyss of another Black Friday?

At 4:59 PM, Blogger Prairie Waif said...

. . .The fundamentals of our economy are VERY strong and I PROMISE YOU we will NEVER put our country in this danger again. . . [John McCain, 2008 September 15, 9:30 am]

Okay, I have a cold and heard this on the clock radio just prior to hitting snooze mode. . .tell me, am I delusional or is McCain?

we will NEVER put our country in this danger again. . . Uh, who put us there in the first place? The guy who "knows how to win a war" and hasn't yet?? He's still fighting to look credible, and losing that too.

Honestly? Puhleez! Has Ford Prefect dropped in on Arthur Dent and is the Vogon Expressway being built?

Blaine, THINGS ARE BETTER IN CANADA! When would a Governor of a state call a candidate running for President a Fraud and LIAR, as the Premier of Newfoundland and Labrador, Danny Williams did? AND he is a Conservative Premier who told the people of his governance to not cast a single vote for the FRAUD AND LIAR Prime Minister Stephan Harper, Conservative.

As the Red Rose Tea Commercials state: "Only in Canada? Pity."

This is really "The Ballad of Palin and Unstable"

I guess I won't be getting a dividend check from AIG this year. Although, I DID HEAR that the PRESIDENT of LEHMAN BROTHERS was "ever so fortunate" to receive a $22 MILLION Christmas bonus last year.

Wonder if he gave a "bundling party" for Mr. Unstable with his ill gotten gains, er, bonus.

At 5:57 PM, Blogger Floyd M. Orr said...

I'm baaack, Mr. Degan. You and I may not agree on issues involving illegal immigration. Like I always have said, what part of illegal don't you understand? Otherwise, you are and have always been The Man! This Palin madness has made me positively ill. My wife and I have both had nights crammed with nightmares about the bitch. All of America needs to take another look at the 1976 movie, The Omen, because that's exactly where we're headed, a country ruled by a Satanic Queen. We are, indeed, a nation of idiots.

At 10:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are right about things in Canada. It looks like Harper's lead is shrinking, if we are lucky, we will have nother minority gov't. Also, I like the way you mentioned Danny Williams, as I live in St. John's Newfoundland! Way to go!

At 7:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Super post, Tom. I too believe we will have to have a massive turn out of enraged citizens if this election looks like it has been stolen again. If McCain wins, it was stolen. We will have to get on our street corners with signs, assemble in front of the white house, whatever. Come up everybody with ideas. I work at a library and I have been trying to do my bit by hiding CON-servative books by all the Repuke thugs within the stacks so they can't be found in MY library or even able to be requested by other libraries. I am also putting holds on the smear Obama books and when I get at least a pair of them, I am holding them myself until after the election so no one can have them. Hang the fines. This scary economy has given me a really good opening to talk to everyone and point out a few salient FACTS. When I handed the papers in the am at the library to our resident old curmudgeon, who usually looks at me like I am some kind of "liberal cockroach" (he reads my bumper stickers before he comes in) I smiled and told him McCain is sounding alot like Herbert Hoover. I am sure he remembers the depression and as my granpa always said: There are only 2 kinds of Republicans: Millionaires (Billionaires now) and suckers? Which one was he? It's now time to start using that little nugget of truth of Granpy's.


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