The Ballad of McCain and Unable

Have you seen the bigger piggies in their starched, white shirts?
You will find the bigger piggies stirring up the dirt
Always have clean shirts
To play around in....
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George Harrison
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Consider this: The American economy is on the verge of collapse. Lives are being lost on a daily basis in a two-front war. Our infrastructure is coming apart. Hundreds of thousands of people all across this troubled land are losing their jobs not to mention their homes. As I write these words, the city of Houston, Texas is being destroyed by Hurricane Ike. With all this going on, what do you think these silly, half-witted Republicans have the entire country debating? Lipstick on a pig.
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As the late, great Jack Parr used to say, "I kid you not".
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In their sties with all their backing
They don't care what goes on around
In their eyes there's something lacking
What they need is a damned good whacking!
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The "controversy" (if that's what you want to call it) revolves around Barack Obama's description earlier this week of John McCain's economic policies:
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"You can put lipstick on a pig and it's still a pig."
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"SEXISM!" screamed the loony right wing, "That's a direct smear of the vice-presidential candidate! How cruel! How thoughtless! How could he? The poor woman! Oh, the poor, poor woman!"
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I think that it reveals a lot about what they really think of their V.P. nominee. The moment the word "pig" escaped Obama's lips, the first thing that came to their minds was Sarah Palin. Very interesting indeed.
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This is straight out of the Karl Rove Playbook: Distract, distort and divide. They obviously can't discuss "the issues", so to speak; they can't run on the basis of their ideas because their ideas (or, rather, their "ideology") is atrocious. So, what to do? Create a controversy out of think air. Ignore the fact that if you google the phrase, "lipstick on a pig", you will be able to find a score or more of Republican politicians using those words in the last year alone. Ignore the fact that the title of the book written by John McCain's former (and female) press secretary was "Lipstick on a Pig". Ignore the fact that when asked last year about Hillary Clinton's plan for health care, the Arizona senator himself inarticulately replied, "The latest proposal I see is putting lipstick on a pig".
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Forget all of that. Just ignore it.
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All that matters really matters is the fact that this BLACK man called our precious Sarah, our darlin' and delicate flower of the northwest - "a pig".
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And what spastic vessel transported them to this weird island of twisted logic you may well ask? Don'cha see? Last week Sarah Palin said that the only difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull is lipstick. See? She said "lipstick". He said "lipstick". He called her a pig! See? See?
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Yes....yes, I know what you're thinking. No, it doesn't get any stupider than this.
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What we are witnessing here is pure desperation. It also reveals that Camp McCain knows damned well that there are a lot of Americans out there who are just stupid enough to fall for this bullshit (Attention, viewers of FOX and Friends). What it all boils down to is this: When the focus is on the issues, it's a good day for Senator Obama. When the focus is lipstick on a pig, it's a good day for Senator McCain. Chris Matthews of MSNBC put it perfectly when he called it "a brilliant distraction from eight years of Republican failure".
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The lip rouge affair was soon overshadowed by our gal Sarah's interview on ABC News. When asked by Charlie Gibson what she thought of the Bush Doctrine, it was comically apparent she wasn't even able to define it. "In what respect, Charlie?" She didn't know. Nary a freaking clue. It really was a scream to watch! When asked about the Bush policy of preemptive strike against a sovereign nation, she said that a president had the absolute right to do anything if he or she believed that that nation was about to strike. The fact that Saddam Hussein had neither the intention nor the ability to "strike" at anything or anyone - and that the Bush Mob knew it - mercifully never came up.
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When McCain first put forward the name of this twit to be second on the ticket, I damn near jumped with joy. "This election is over, baby!" I said out loud. Then I caught myself: J. Danforth Quayle. Remember him? Dan Quayle's historical image as an idiot has been somewhat softened in recent years. When compared to George W. Bush, the guy is starting to look like Einstein. But that doesn't take away from the fact that when George the elder chose Danny boy as his running mate twenty years ago, it was perfectly, laughably obvious that he could not have come up with a worse running mate if he had tried - and yet he won that election.
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Just consider the criteria of the electorate! In 2000 and and 2004 George W. Bush was respectively able to defeat the far more qualified candidates, Al Gore and John Kerry, for no other reason than the fact that he was the one most people would prefer to have a beer with. That is what we are dealing with here. Actually, I have a confession to make: There is no other politician - living or dead - with whom I would rather have a beer than Bush - for no other reason than it would give me the golden opportunity to smash the hideous little bastard in the face with an unopened bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
.The sad fact of the matter is that the GOP can end up winning this thing despite having so deplorable a candidate as Governor Palin on the ticket. Watching the McCain campaign, particularly during the last four or five days, has been all-at-once funny and disturbing. Funny because (let's face some serious facts here, people) the gut-wrenching stupidity of the American people is always loads of fun to watch (SA-RAH! SA-RAH!) Disturbing because in the long run, the future of our children will be negatively effected by what could very well be the outcome of this election. By that I mean a McCain/Palin victory on Election Day.
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My advice to the Obama Campaign would be as follows:
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Please, folks, don't make the same mistake John Kerry made four years ago. When attacked from all sides, Kerry insisted on remaining "above it all". Bad move. The Democrats have got to get down - right into the gutter - with these despicable assholes. It's their only hope. As far as politics are concerned, they have to realize that they are now living in the Age of Rove. If there is any thing we have learned these past eight years, it is that the Republicans only know how to fight one way - DIRTY. The Dems have to give back as good (or as bad) as they get They have no other choice. None.
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Can you remember the headline of London's Daily Mirror the day following the election of 2004?
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"HOW CAN 59,054,087 PEOPLE BE SO DUMB?"
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Given all the damage that the Republicans have done to our beloved country these past fourteen years, I can just imagine what their headline will be if the electorate compounds the mistake of Sending the Bush Mob to the White House by electing the team of John McCain and Sarah Palin:
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"WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE, FUCKING NUTS???"
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A very grim scenario any way you slice it or dice it. And then there is the very real possibility of election fraud. Don't forget all of those computerized, easily hackable Diebolt voting machines that have been conspicuously installed in all of the so-called "purple states", where a GOP Victory is not-at-all a foregone conclusion. Should the results on Election Day conflict with the exit polls (as they did in Florida in 2000 and Ohio in 2004) a full-blown, national revolt will most definitely be in order. We cannot allow this country to be seized by people whose only motivation is the looting and plunder of our economy. That will be the cue for all of us who believe in the words of the Bill of Rights to screw the system by any means necessary - within the law and without. Raise hell! Refuse to pay taxes! And, most importantly, be heard. Be loud. Be very VERY LOUD. It's time for all of us to brush up on Dr. King's course of non-violent, passive resistance.
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Everywhere there's lots of piggies, living piggy lives
You can see them out for dinner with their piggy wives
Clutching forks and knives
To eat their bacon
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The Chinese have a blessing which is also a curse: "May you live in interesting times". Well, heck! While these may not be blessed times, they sure as hell are interesting!
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Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net
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SUGGESTED READING:
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Good Night Bush
by Gan Golar and Erich Origen
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This is a screamingly funny parody of the childhood classic, "Good Night, Moon" by Margaret Wise Brown and Clement Hurd. My beloved niece Marieke Pennings (Hello, darling!) gave it to me for my birthday. It's an absolute hoot!
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There are one-hundred and twenty-eight days until we are free of George W. Bush!