The Shuster Affair

If there is one thing over the years that I've learned about Hillary Clinton, it is that the woman is utterly without shame. This has been reflected in the type of campaign she has chosen to run and the people she has chosen to run it. Her latest attempt to play the sympathy card can only be described as disgusting. And it is all being done at the expense of the career of one of the most promising, young political reporters on television today.
.
Last week, during an appearance on MSNBC's Tuker Carlson program, David Shuster took note of the fact that lovely, little Chelsea Clinton (who is a grown adult, by the way) had been making late night phone calls to the hosts of ABC's The View, asking them to endorse her mother. Shuster said that he thought it a bit unseemly that the Clinton campaign seemed to be "pimping" the darling little thing. That was all Billary Inc. needed to hear. They instantly went into full outrage mode, making pious condemnations against Shuster and MSNBC, threatening to boycott the next debate sponsored by the network if immediate, disciplinary action is not taken.
.
Here is an absolute certainty:
Hillary Clinton would "pimp" her daughter at five bucks a shot on the corner of Tenth Avenue and Thirtieth Street if she thought if would get her the nomination.
.
As it happens, I was watching the Carlson program that evening. When Shuster said what he said, so help me, I didn't even blink. 99.09 percent of the people watching didn't blink. Why? Because the Clinton campaign is pimping Chelsea! (Figuratively speaking, of course). The following morning, when he made an on-the-air apology for saying what he said (without actually quoting himself) I thought back on the previous night's program and couldn't figure out what the hell he was talking about. The only people on the planet who "blinked" were the Clinton campaign operatives, desperate for a non-issue they can cynically exploit. She and Bill tried playing the race card during the South Carolina primary a couple of weeks ago and it blew up in their faces. They were desperate to get on the sympathetic side of some kind of "attack" - any kind - (as Barack Obama was able to do last week when he was unfairly pounded by the Clintons down in Dixie). The only thing they could come up with was David Shuster's harmless, off-the-cuff comment. Had he said that Mitt Romney was pimping his sons on the campaign trail (an argument that can easily be made) no one would have made a sound. The mistake he made was referring to precious little Chelsea, whom most people still picture as the impish little thirteen-year-old, romping through the halls of her new home in the executive mansion way back in 1993. Pathetic.
.
Here is another question which needs to be answered: We must assume that Whoopee Goldberg and the other regulars on The View (I don't know their names because I never watch the show) have unlisted numbers. How was Chelsea Clinton able to acquire them? Does her mother receive some kind of special treatment from the phone company? What is that all about? It is impossible to obtain an unlisted phone number, believe me. I once tried to contact my own cousin who was unlisted and I couldn't. How was Chelsea Clinton able to get her hands on Whoopee's number? Think about it.

DISCLAIMER:

Okay! Okay! Okay! I watched The View once (The Ron Paul appearance). But that was only because I had three friends in the audience and I taped it for them. So sue me!
.
I first noticed Shuster a couple of years ago as the political correspondent on the Hardball program with Chris Matthews. His knowledge and insight were impressive from the start. The guy is on top of and in tune with the American political process and politicians. Lately, the geniuses at MSNBC have sought to loosen up his image, placing him in comparatively informal settings such as co-hosting the Morning Joe program. In these kinds of situations, it is natural that he would let his guard down somewhat - as he undoubtedly did last week on the Carlson show. It is my humble opinion that the tampering of Shuster's public persona is not working at all. They should just let him do what he does best - political reporting; he's pretty damned good at it. Stop trying to turn him into a comedian.
.
The reason Hillary Clinton is able to get so much mileage out of this incident is precisely because it was said by someone with the integrity of Mr. Shuster. Do you think for a moment that they would have even attempted to raise such a stink had the comments been made by Bill O'Riley or Rush Limbaugh? Had they done so, people would have just shrugged their shoulders. In other words, saying that the Clinton campaign is "pimping" cute and innocent little Chelsea is not, in itself, "shocking". What is shocking (I'll use the word "surprising") is the fact that it was said by someone with the journalistic gravitas of a David Shuster. One would hope that the suits at MSNBC will not over-react the way they did ten months ago when they foolishly fired Don Imus. Shuster is a brilliant reporter who will have even less trouble than the I-Man had finding another network on which to work.
.
Face it; we live in dirty times: dirty politics, dirty politicians, dirty policies - DIRT, DIRT, DIRT - everywhere you look. Nowadays Howard Stern rules. A humorist with the intellect and gentle outlook of someone like the late Fred Allen, would not be able to find a job today. In fact, his skit, Allen's Alley, performed weekly on his radio show during the 1940s, would today be viewed as so politically incorrect, he probably wouldn't even be able to find a single sponsor. The inhabitants of the alley - a southern politician (Senator Claghorn), a Jewish housewife (Mrs. Nussbaum), a New England rube (Titus Moody) and an Irishman (Ajax Cassady) - were all asked a different question each week pertaining to whatever domestic problem America might have been dealing with at that particular moment. It was topical, it was clean, and, most importantly, it was as funny as it gets:
.
Fred Allen: "Well, if it isn't Mrs. Nussbaum!"
Mrs. Nussbaum: "You were expecting maybe Emperor Shapiro-hito???"
.
No. The Fred Allen Show, as brilliantly satirical as it was - as undeniably popular as it was - would be viewed today as too ethno-stereotypical by today's whiny, hypersensitive audiences. The Clinton campaign would probably issue a policy paper denouncing Allen as unfit to transmit over the people's airwaves. He would never stand a chance in today's climate. There is no doubt that the sewer that American culture has become in the fifty-one years since his death would have broken his heart.
.
Like it or not, these are the kind of times in which we live. Hillary Clinton - and everyone around her - should just grow up and act like mature adults. On my very first day of school (way the hell back in 1963) my teacher, Mrs. Anabelle Peevey, God rest her soul, gave me the following bit of sage advice that I take to heart to this very day:
.
"Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you."
.
Damn! That old lady sure was hip! Then again, I can't help but wonder how she might have reacted had I brought the latest Lenny Bruce album in for Show and Tell. That would have been interesting, indeed!
.
Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net
.
SUGGESTED READING:
Treadmill to Oblivion
by Fred Allen
.
Photograph to left of column is of Fred Allen 1894-1956, circa 1938