Friday, October 05, 2007

An open letter to the First Fool

Dear George,
Well, here we are: Six miserable years, eight miserable months, two miserable weeks and one miserable day into what can only be described as the most murderously corrupt and incompetent administration in the annals of human stupidity - with one more miserable year, three more miserable months, two more miserable weeks and one more miserable day to go. Or, if you will: four-hundred and seventy-three miserable days until you're history. Miserable. Miserable. Miserable - a mind-numbingly depressing scenario any way you slice it or dice it!

Can you believe it's finally come to this, George? By now you must surely realize that with respect to the office of president of the United States, you were in way over your head, were you not? The question that most intelligent people are asking, though, is this: You were such a perpetual fuck-up from the day you were born, after failing at every single thing you ever attempted throughout your entire life, what defect in your psychological make up made you think you could possibly succeed at the most intellectually taxing, complex job in the entire Milky Way? Enquiring minds want to know, George!

But it is not merely the fact that you screwed up royally at everything you ever tried. There is also the undeniable fact that you were one mean little bastard - even as a small boy. Your former childhood playmates like to tell the the story about how, as a kid, you loved to catch frogs at a creek near your home in Crawford, Texas, stuff two or three firecrackers down their throats and blow the little darlings to smithereens in mid-air. Excessive and gratuitous cruelty to animals. You know what that's a sign of, don'cha, George? That's an alarm bell sign of severe mental illness. It is also a trait which is the common childhood denominator of most mass murderers! (Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacey, Jeffrey Dahmer, etc.) Gee! It all fits neatly into place, doesn't it, George? Given your positively perverted penchant for torture and the carnage you've created in Iraq (1.2 million dead and counting), the sad tale of those poor little Crawford froggies makes perfect sense!

I need to know: What made you want to run for public office in the first place, George? Surely it was not out of a desire to do right by the people, that's for damned sure! And it certainly wasn't out of any religious calling to do the work of the good Christian you profess yourself to be. Then what was it, George? When the dust is finally settled and historians are able to siphon through the wreckage of your nightmare of an administration, not one positive achievement will be said to have come from the long years of your disgusting reign of error - NOT ONE!

What motivated you, George? I think I can answer that question. Your motivation was never to preside over a "government of the people, by the people, for the people". It was, instead, to "alter or abolish" that form of government. And the funny thing is, you were almost successful, George! Maybe you're even stupid enough to believe that you have succeeded. Well, here's the big surprise, pardner: Are ya ready for this? Can you hear that bell faintly ringing in the distance? It tolls for thee, George. It tolls for thee.

The jig is up, George, and you can deny it no longer. The chickens will soon be coming home to roost for you, Dick Cheney, and the tsunami of walking, talking shit that comprises most of your administration. Oh, it's not going be a pretty picture, Georgie; not by any stretch of the imagination. You've called tune, Buster, and We, The Pipers must be paid. At the risk of sounding sadistic, I've got to say that it is, indeed, going to be a beautiful thing to watch you being severely punished for your crimes against the human race. Living as a citizen of the United States for the last six years, eight months, two weeks and one day has been like being a passenger in a speeding car with an insane, half-witted, out-of-control drunk at the wheel. The damage that you've done to this once-great nation is impossible to accurately assess. Your tax cuts for a class of people who already had more money than they knew what to do with - at the expense of the poor and the middle class - can only be described as the most despicable deed of any American president in history. Your criminal recklessness and disdain for the tenets of governance put forward by the Founding Fathers over two-hundred years ago will still be palpable one-hundred years from today. Because of your actions, the "American way of life" - that most of us have taken for granted all of our lives - is gone forever.

Compassionate conservatism, huh? What a fucking joke.

Well, George, as your knucklehead of a Father would say, you're in deep doo-doo, son! Honestly, you've got to grow up and face some uncomfortable truths: you've failed yet again. Not only that, but you've also committed serious felonies too numerous to adequately catalogue. From the genocide in Iraq to the warrantless spying on American citizens; from the looting of our national treasure to the perversion of the Constitution....To quote the Sheriff of Boone County Kentucky, "You're in a heap a' trouble, boy!"

Oh, why, George, why??? Why couldn't you just have left well enough alone? You were a rich kid from a prominent (if somewhat disreputable) family who was destined to inherit a fortune from your two hideous parents! Why couldn't you have been content to live out your life as a dim-witted country squire and leave the rest of us be? Why did you do it, George? Can't you see the heartache you've caused for untold scores of millions of people across the globe? Can't you see the misery you've unleashed across this small and fragile planet? Are you unable to perceive the magnitude of the suffering that has been the result of your arrogance and foolishness? Do you not comprehend the death and destruction you've wrought? Are you unaware of the grief you've brought into the lives of so many innocent people? What the fuck is the matter with you, George?

Your day is coming, George. Man! I'd sure as hell hate to be you, buddy! What I'd love to know is, how will you face your just deserts? Knowing you, you'll try to flee the country. That one-hundred thousand acres your family purchased two years ago off the coast of Paraguay had a certain stink to it when I first read about it - just the place for a fugitive war criminal to hide out. How are you going to react when you're finally cornered? Will you take the cowardly, Hitler way out? A well-placed, self-inflicted bullet through the brain? Nah! You're too much of a coward for even that method! I imagine they'll just end up dragging you out of your bunker, screaming and crying like a pathetic, frightened little four year old. By that time you will be such a sorry, gnarled figure of a human being, even I will feel some measure of sympathy for you.

Miserable. Miserable. Miserable.

You had a great opportunity for a while there, George, and you blew it - BIG TIME! You might have taken all of the sympathy and good will that was beamed on the American people from all over the world after the tragedy of September 11, 2001 and ushered in a new, golden era of peace, understanding and cooperation. You might have been able to force even the most unbending, intolerant leaders to look at the senseless carnage of that dark day and made them see the tragic meaninglessness of it all. You could have done great things, George. You had the unprecedented, overwhelming support of the American people. Hell, you even had my support, George! I said as much on a live radio program two days after the attack! So many people like me who were initially bitter towards you because of the stolen election of the year before wanted to believe that the trauma of that day would transform you; that you would put behind you the extremist doctrine of the criminals and sociopaths who have hijacked your party and do the right thing by the country you claim to love so much. But then you thoughtlessly - criminally - rendered all of our hopes and prayers futile. All of that good will was foolishly squandered, scattered like ashes to the wind.

Go away, George. Please, just go away.

Your biggest fan (Ha! Ha! I'm just kidding),

Tom Degan

Goshen, NY


At 8:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poor to see the bastard sweat.

At 10:41 AM, Blogger JRD said...


Nice one. I mean brutal, but good. But you know, I have lost faith. If the Democrats have not taken advantage of the majority that was handed them last November by now, they never will. They'll say "We don't want to be partisan. We don't think the country can take an impeachment hearing. We are not like them..." Sickening.

And then we'll have Hillary and she will want to show the world how big her balls are by not pulling out of Iraq. Or maybe it will be Rudy, and we all know what he, what with his prostate trouble and all, needs to be able to show us...

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

May heaven have mercy on us...

At 11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bush's legacy is already written which will appear as a large and odoriferous fecal smear on American history. I believe him to be immune to self-doubt. He swaggers and struts like the little Mussolini he aspires to be and we all know how fate treated Benito!

At 3:53 PM, Blogger Mama said...

Great rant, Tom! So glad I found your blog - can't wait to share this with my daughter!

At 4:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Tom,

Absolutely brilliant and I wish the idiot would read it.

But I have a nagging question for you and your other readers: do you think we will really manage to get rid of this worthless piece of shit at the end of 2008? Do you really think we will have an election and that he will leave office?

I wish I could believe that we will be rid of him, but I just have too many doubts. He may be stupid, but he or his keepers have certainly put everything in place for him to take over as a total dictator and completely destroy the democratic way of life.

At 4:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I, Mariam Russell, second every word. I cannot get this to accept anything but anonimo, and do not like saying anything anonymously.

I really wish I could believe that these thugs would pay even a little, but I am afraid that is not the way the game is played....kill one person, get the death penalty.....kill 2 or three million, live to a ripe old age in comfort and die with "honors" and totally unrecognizable descriptions of yourself in your Milton Freedman.

At 6:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey Tom - love your words. but really, what makes you think Bush and Co are going to be held accountable for their actions? do you know something i don't? i certainly hope so.

i was having a conversation w/ a co-worker earlier this week how he thinks there might not even be an election next year if another terrorist attack happens.

but i don't think that will happen - for you see, Bush never wanted the job, you can tell in the way he purses his lips and gets annoyed w/ the questions people ask - everyone put him up to it - his daddy's friends, Che-ney, and the other corporate swine.

but i'll tell you what - i almost want the elections to be canceled next year - know why? because i know with 90% certainty that most americans won't do a gawd darn thing about it - i mean, besides politely holding a vigil on a street corner or something. when faced w/ fascism or revolution, america will do the same thing they did in 2001 after the supreme court effectively installed the fuhrer - nothing.

and as the Clash sang prophetically over 2 decades ago, the only question people reading this should be asking themselves is, "when they kick in your front door, how you gonna come? with your hands on your head? or on the trigger of your gun?"

At 8:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why did you support this ghastly man for even a second during 9/11? It was known, early on, that the entire administration ignored the warning "Bin Laden determined to attack USA."
There was no reason, ever, to be in favor of this Administration unless you're terminally wealthy. It is a disgrace.

At 9:21 PM, Blogger Saltwater said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 9:25 PM, Blogger Saltwater said...

Sorry, I removed this same post by mistake and am re-posting it.

What you write Tom is so true. It's rather ad hominem, but if anyone deserves that, Bush does. Good "rant" that really really deserves the title!

I feel the same way about the maniac installed and apparently immovable in the formerly-known-as-the-White House.

I wanted to call people's attention to another open letter, this one by Retired USAF Lt. Colonel Robert "Bob" Bowman, published very recently at

It's called

Duty, Honor, Country 2007
An Open Letter to the New Generation of Military Officers Serving and Protecting Our Nation"

It is powerful reading, highly recommended, and suggests a possible scenario, or solution, that would be less tragic than the Hitler in the bunker scenario. I'd love to see IT on a full -page New York Times ad. As if. But maybe...

At 12:22 AM, Blogger Todd said...

Good rant, Tom, and I hope Bush and company gets their just deserts - prison, but for some reason I don't think congress or anywhere in the whitehouse are spines willing to charge him. It's like he has SOMETHING hanging over them, but I don't know what, that they just blindly follow him :-( Or at the very least do nothing to stop him.

At 3:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great Rant! Where did you get that picture of the First Fool? How can 30% still support his policies? How in the name of all that's holy did this country get to this point? Will this nightmare ever end?

At 2:48 PM, Blogger Blake said...

Gee Tom

And all along I thought you were a Bush supporter? And the "Impeach Bush" signs on the sides of your car were a ruse to distract attention from your REAL feelings about this president?

Oh Well-Live and learn. Now I've been set straight.


Rick Lippin

At 4:18 PM, Blogger Tom Degan said...

You read me like a cheap dime novel, Dr. Rick! You've got me pegged! Actually, as Noel Coward would say, I'm mad about the boy!

All the best,

Tom Degan

At 5:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bush was installed in the Oval Office as a figure head to do what he has done, turn the country over to the oil bidness as the late great Molly Ivens termed it; and any other special interest that will deposit cash in his off shore account. Cheney was picked to run the country while Bush functioned as the Elmer Gantry of the business world.
Using other peoples' money George has lost milions of dollars of daddy's friends' money while walking away scot free.
Bush has always been joke to anyone who knows him so the office of president is a coup. It's the power stupid.
As for Paraguay, Bush has never put up ANY of his own money, ask what cartel is funding the ranch.
On a limb, a trainig ground for a paramilitary group?

At 3:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you protest too much. Bush is not the clown you pretend him to be. If you think what is happening is an aberration and an election is going to make the world okay again, I think you are wrong. Their world is okay and yours is irrelevant. If you do not believe me just ask Miss Hilary. However, keep the light shining one if by day two if by night.

At 2:04 PM, Blogger stoney13 said...

Anonymous 3:12

Look numb-nuts If you think that this country is fine, and Bush Isn't the clown that Tom thinks he is, then you're a fucking idiot!

As a fucking idiot, then anything you have to say on heavy things like politics and world affairs is not only irelavant, but so wildly misguided that any attempt at civil discourse with you is as big of a waste of time, as playing chess with a baboon!

Oh! It's "Mrs. Hillary", not "Miss Hillary"! and you also spelled it wrong! Hillary Clinton was the wife of a President so far above "Frat-Boy George", that even mentioning them in the same sentence feels somehow wrong!

I'm not saying he was a really good president, but he was a damned better than the idiot we've got now!

Troll if you must, dick-head, but don't be surprised if we piss off the bridge from time to time!

At 3:26 PM, Blogger LeeAnnG said...

Hey, Tom. Glad I finally connected with you through Alternet and came to your site.

This is a great rant, but I do fear sometimes that the reign of the Bush regime will not end with his occupancy in the White House. I refuse to call him the president because he was appointed the first time and brought to the office by fraud the second - I am convinced of this.

I've read several of your entries and they are as good as I expected. However, it's very unfortunate that your prophesy that the Decidinator would be impeached by the end of summer has not come to pass. I thought the same thing until Pelosi declared it "off the table."

What a fiasco!

At 9:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bush is stupid yes.But he's no accident.Its all so much worse than that.Ranting about Bush is like screaming at a cardboard cut out.The real culprits are behind the curtain.And theres too many of them to stop..


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