Fasten Your Seat Belts

The next two years are going to be a political junkie's dream. When the final results of the 2006 mid-term elections became official late Wednesday morning, one could almost feel the heat coming from the White House. It's melt down time, folks! It's enough to make you nauseous to think that the likes of John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Franklin D. Roosevelt once took up residence in what is now nothing more than a glorified house of ill repute. Once these people are finally led out of there (in handcuffs and well before 20 January 2009, I promise you) we're gonna have to have the joint fumigated! Remember the mantra they kept repeating when they first seized power in January of 2001? "The 'adults' are in charge now"! Please.

It really is entertaining to watch, is it not? For all of the tragedy that George W. Bush and company have inflicted on this troubled planet, when it comes to unintentional humor, these assholes are a comedy writer's dream! I can remember during the campaign of 2000, Don Imus telling his audience, "Please vote for this guy, I'm begging you"! The idea was that the I-man's job of making people laugh would be so much easier with such a heart-stoppingly incompetent and comical figure sitting in the oval office.

Take Wednesday, for example. When it became clear that his administration would have to stand in judgement before a democratic Congress, the First Fool held a press conference to announce that, after long and serious discussions, he has decided to accept the resignation of Donald Rumsfeld. Oh, this had been planned for weeks, he says. Oh, we didn't make the announcement before the election because we didn't want to politicize it, he says. Is that just a rib-tickler, or what? How stupid does he think we are? No, it doesn't get any funnier than this!

Here's why Donald Rumsfeld was fired (No, he didn't "resign", he was fired): Bush and Cheney know damned well that the jig is up. In a matter of months Donny Boy will be forced to raise his right hand and tell the whole, nasty truth about everything that led up to the invasion of Iraq and the White House's handling of it. It'll look far better for the Bush Mob to have this testimony coming out of the mouth of an "ex" Secretary of Defence than a sitting one, if you get my drift. The really funny thing about it is the fact that, had they made their announcement on Monday morning instead of stupidly waiting until Wednesday afternoon, they probably would have been able to hold on to the Senate! Bush has a lot on the table that he needs to ram through Congress between now and January 1st - the John Bolton nomination and illegal wiretapping legislation, for instance (Bush wants to do away with a law he's been violating for at least five years). That's not going to be so easy now. The Republicans - within Congress and without - are furious at him for screwing up the Rumsfeld "resignation".

Honestly, can this whole thing possibly get any funnier? Yes it can and it will. In 2007 when serious Congressional hearings are held, the tiny little details of the Bush administration's jaw-dropping ineptitude of which, at best, we have only a broad picture at the moment, should have us all rolling in the aisles begging them to stop. When the movie about the Bush era is finally made, of this you can be absolutely sure: it will be a comedy - a black comedy but a comedy none-the-less.

Picture the scenario: The eldest, not-too-bright, ne'er-do-well son of an ex-president decides he is going to "one up" his father - of whom he feels nothing but jealousy and contempt; in spite of the fact that the elder man has bailed the son out of one problem after another his entire life. Whether it be business failures or tangles with the law, the father has spent much time, energy and influence keeping the son's personal and professional life from falling apart. Within eight years of his father's defeat for re-election, the half-witted son is elected in his own right - sort of. He does it by stealing the election. He is re-elected four years after that but, again, because of another stolen election. He also has the advantage of a deplorably ill-informed and indifferent electorate.

To prove to himself that he is his own man, whenever confronted with a difficult decision he asks himself, "What might Dad have done"? and does the exact opposite. For six years, his macho posturing and reckless abandon brings the entire planet to the precipice of chaos. In the end, the father bails him out yet again by sending in his powerful friends to sort through the disaster the son has created through sheer stupidity and arrogance. This is exactly what's occurring at the moment with respect to Jim Baker and the so-called "Iraq Study Group". For the Lord knows how manyth time, Poppy Bush has to send in his crafty consigliare to pull poor Junior out of another fine mess he's gotten himself into. Somewhere in the void, Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy are weeping.

Please give thanks for the miracle of technology. We're all going to have front row seats for the implosion of the Bush White House via the medium of television and I can't wait! The great radio comedian Fred Allen once said that "the only reason television is called a 'medium' is because on TV nothing is well done". The proprietor of Allen's Alley had a good point but of this you may be absolutely sure: The hearings that will lead to the eventual impeachment of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney will be television's finest hour. I'm positively giddy with anticipation!

Pray for peace.

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net