Bob Betrayed by Bastards
"We did it!"
The one-time Pennsylvania senator was positively beside himself with unrestrained giddiness when he tweeted that message to his half-witted clientele. After all, the senate had just defeated the ratification of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities treaty, which is designed to compel the rest of the planet earth to treat their disabled citizens as we do here in the Unites States by treating them with dignity and ensuring that they be given access to public accommodations. That was all too much for most of Republicans to bear. Ironically, although the vote was 61 to 38 in favor, it was five votes short of the two/thirds majority required for passage.
Bobby, Ye Hardly Knew Them!
And there was good ol' Bob Dole, his body wracked by age and ancient wounds received during the second world war, wheeled onto the floor of the senate by his wife, Elizabeth. He was there as a sort of moral beacon, wordlessly reminding his former colleagues of his very real disabilities. It was he, more than anyone else, who was responsible for the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act back in the nineties. I'm sure he believed that his presence could persuade even the yahoos and jackasses who have hijacked his party to do the right thing. It was wishful thinking on his part.
It is obvious that the former Kansas senator is not long for this world. If he even lives to see it, he will turn ninety-years-old next July 22. It's a shame that on what will undoubtedly be the last time he sets foot in that chamber he should witness the defeat of a measure that is so close to his heart. It really was a sad thing to see. My heart goes out to Senator Dole.
The GOP is justifying their defeat of this humane treaty in quite humorous ways. It's an attempt by the United Nations to force their wicked will on the good citizens of this beloved land of ours, they're telling us. Besides, as every red-blooded American knows, The UN is pure evil - EVIL, I TELL YOU!!! Others are trying to get us to swallow the notion that it somehow "undermines US sovereignty". Exactly how they are unable to explain. It really is a funny and amusing thing to behold. It's damned-near touching.
Screw the Cripples
Although I've come to expect the worst from these assholes, this latest one surprised even me. It is evidence that that party is devolving even further by the day. Who knows where they might be in five or six years? It's an unsettling speculation to say the least. Still we might console ourselves by the thought that they do indeed provide us with scads of unintentional comedy; roses plucked from a field of manure. Jon Stewart's writers have the easiest job in the world. Come to think about it, so do I.
As they slide further into irrelevance, the "party of Abraham Lincoln" will become more desperate. They know goddamned-good-and-well that they can no longer rely on the fears and loathings of middle-aged white guys with beer bellies to put them over the top on any given election day.
Already an overt scheme is in the works to rig the electoral college in their favor. They now want to give the more populated counties of America more electoral votes than the less populated ones. Apparently they think that this will work out to their advantage in the "purple" states. Perhaps it will. But what these jackasses fail to understand is that for this little plan to work, it would require a constitutional amendment if it is to be made the law of the land. Jolly good luck with that one.
Mean and Stupid
Don't expect them to do the bidding of their constituents. Don't expect them to look out for the interests of the poor, the elderly and the middle class. Don't expect them not to be lulled to sleep by the sweet smell of corporate cash. Don't expect them to be statesmen (I'm sorry, I meant "statespersons"). It would be sheer folly to expect any of that from these people. They're not looking out for your interests. Not at all. As Mr. Zappa once said:
They're just looking out for Number One
And Number One ain't you
You ain't even Number Two
This is the way it has always been - not only for the Republicans but far too many Democrats to count (Are you listening Chuck Schumer?) The only difference between now and thirty years ago is that they don't even attempt to hide the corruption any longer. But the politicians don't appear to be too worried - and why should they be? They know full well that the masses have been dumbed-down to the point of utter pathos. Thank you, Fox Noise.
Although I didn't agree with a lot of his policies, I always liked Bob Dole. On his worst days he always seemed pretty sensible and smart. You know what I'm talking about: the type of Republican that doesn't even exist anymore. Voting against him as I did in 1996 did not fill me with the vengeful glee that I experienced when I voted against Reagan, Mitt Romney (remember him?) or the two Bushes. It must break the poor bugger's heart to see what has become of his party. It almost breaks mine.
Winchell - Gossip, Power and the Culture of Celebrity
by Neal Gabler
Walter Winchell was the most famous - and feared - columnist of his day. For at least a quarter-of-a-century his column was by far the most widely read in America. His favor was sought by politicians, entertainers and foreign dignitaries alike. He could - and did - ruin many lives, despite having more than a few skeletons in his own closet. And yet when he died in February of 1972, the only person to show up at his funeral was the estranged daughter he had not spoken to in years. This excellent biography chronicals the meteoric rise and devastating fall of this complete American original. It should be a cautionary tale to the Sean Hannitys and the Rush Limbaughs of this world. I doubt that they'll read it, though. Call it a silly hunch on my part.
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