The War on Christmas
to the other Who's houses
Leaving crumbs much-too-small
for the other Who's Mouses
-Theodor Geisel, AKA Dr. Seuss
It's a secret no longer. We Liberals are out to destroy Christmas. Late in the evening on Christmas Eve we are planning a coordinated, all out, violent assault on the yuletide. As of December 25, 2010, the name of the holiday shall forevermore be referred to as "International Emma Goldman Day". Anyone caught celebrating the birthday of the Prince of Peace from that point forward will be severely punished. Let all those intending to ignore this edict be forewarned.
[CUE THE JINGLE BELLS]
'Twas the night before Christmas
and all 'round the place
Them Liberals was plannin'
to attack us with mace
The Children were nestled
all snug in their beds
While visions of Ayn Rand
stomped on their heads
And mama with her Demerol
and I with my booze
Had just settled down
for a long winter's snooze
When out on the rooftop
there rose such a ruckus
I sprang from my bed to see
WHAT THE F**K IS GOING ON UP THERE???
A posse of Liberals
all armed to the teeth
Were doing rude things
to our poor Christmas wreath
They spoke not a word
but were vile and we shook
As they ripped out the pages
of Ms. Palin's book
They poured gas on our presents
And set them aflame
And to our stuffed Santa
They did just the same
And I heard them exclaim
as they tore up the streets
"Nasty Krimble to all!
Next year leave us some sweets!"
But seriously, folks.....
There is no "war" on Christmas. It's a lot bigger than that. It involves more than just one day out of the year. It is, in fact, a war on Jesus Christ. And that war has been being waged non stop by the right wing in this country for at least two centuries. Another shot across the bough was fired this week by Senator Jim DeMint, the half-witted reactionary from South Carolina, when he said that unemployment insurance should be turned into a loan program.
"It then encourages people to go back to work", he said.
At a time of such terrible economic hardship not known since the nineteen-thirties, those words are an assault on everything Jesus Christ ever taught us. Let 'em eat cake.
"Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth."
Jim DeMint is a self-described "Christian". Has he ever read Jesus' Sermon on the Mount? Does he even have a remedial understanding of what it means? Nah! Probably not! DeMint was part of the same crowd who held the American people hostage by threatening to shut down the government of the United States if a tax cut was not continued for a class of people who already have more money than they will possibly spend in a lifetime.
Jesus does not approve. That is much more than just a guess on my part. Unlike a lot of these clowns, the life and teachings of Christ were part of the curriculum when I went to school as a boy. That's right - five years of Catholic education. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about here.
And as to the war on Christmas, doesn't our consumer culture encourage it? Doesn't our very economic survival depend upon us making a mockery out of the birthday of Jesus Christ every year - going all the way back to the dawn of the industrial revolution over a century ago? If Bill O'Reilly and the jackasses over at FOX Noise were as concerned as they pretend to be about the war on Christmas, they would refuse every cent of every advertising dollar tying any product to Christmas Day. Trust me on this one campers: That ain't NEVER gonna happen.
Christmas comes but once a year
so you'd better make hay while the spirit lingers
It's slipping through your fingers, boy
Don't you realize?
Christmas can be such a monetary joy!
-Stan Freberg, 1958
"And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round them and they were sure afraid. And the angel said unto them: fear not, for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of heavenly host, praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace, good will toward all people."
The Gospel according to St. Luke
Chapter 2, verses 9:14
from the King James Bible
"That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."
-Linus Van Pelt
From "A Charlie Brown Christmas", 1965
They just don't get it - and they never will - these people who would exploit the name of Christ in order to promote the most unChrist-like agenda that is theologically possible. They have spent the last thirty years destroying the American economy. And yet instead of reaching out to help the victims of their greed and recklessness, they would rather cut the taxes on billionaires. God bless America.
"I needed clothes and you clothed me. I was sick and you looked after me. I was in prison and you came to visit me.
Instead they now want to build more prisons. Yes, there is a war on Jesus Christ, alright - and here's something the extremists who have hijacked our national political dialogue need to understand: It's a war they can't win. Beware the sleeping giant of the Religious Left.
And so Happy Christmas
We hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young
Like the man said:
Happy Christmas, everybody!
Suggested Reading for all of those so-called "Christians" who ascribe to the philosophy of the right wing:
The Sermon on the Mount
Just a thought.
Here's a little traditional holiday chestnut from Franz Schubert as interpreted by the late Perry Como:
For more recent postings on this site, please go to the link below:
"The Rant" by Tom Degan
Pray for peace