Thursday, July 12, 2007

An Epidemic of STUPID PILLS

Take a good, close look at the photo above. Look into the faces of these poor people....Look hard: the glazed-over eyes, the fixed, robotic smiles... These are supporters of the administration of George W. Bush. These are people who think he is probably the greatest president in American history - or, at the very least, the greatest president since Ronald Reagan - who, as everybody knows, is really the greatest president in American history - Duh! (I can't believe I just wrote that last sentence with a straight face!) Look into their eyes. No question about it. The diagnosis is unavoidable: these pathetic, lost souls have been taking near lethal doses of Stupid Pills.

Make no mistake about it: the Stupid Pill epidemic is a grave and gathering threat to our beloved nation. It has not only overtaken the population in general (recent polls show that at least twenty-nine percent of the American people still think that this administration is doing a good job) it has also infiltrated the main stream media in the same way that steroids has overtaken the World Wrestling Association.

The other day on the radio, I was listening to a very stupid person from South Dakota who was filling in for another utterly stupid human being, the vacationing Sean Hannity (One of the more disagreeable aspects of my job is that I actually have to devote a certain amount of time each day to listening to these assholes.) This pathetic right wing shill (Where do they find these people?) actually made the following statement:

"Dick Cheney is the greatest vice-president in American history".

What other conclusion was I able to arrive at? This is a person who is on a mind melting Stupid Pill binge. The greatest vice president in American history??? Cheney's poll numbers are, at this writing, in the single digits! The poor bastard (whoever he is - I can't remember his name) must be experiencing some particularly weird hallucinations!

FULL DISCLOSURE: At one time, for a period of slightly less than a year, I was a fairly habitual user of LSD. And while I was occasionally treated to some fairly wild hallucinations, I never, ever got THAT bent out of shape! The very first time I ever tried acid was on the night of August 8, 1974, when Richard M. Nixon announced to the world that he would resign the presidency effective at noon the following day. As out of it as I admittedly was when Tricky Dick made that memorable speech (I was flyin', baby!) I at least had the presence of mind to know that it was probably the best thing for the country. Fortunately for me, Stupid Pills were unavailable in the summer of 1974. At the time, they were still in the "drawing board" stage, being cooked up in the laboratory of a young Grover Norquist. Had they been available, it is very possible that I would have been up for a little experimentation that night and might very well have ended up fire bombing the Headquarters of the Democratic National Committee.

The other media outlets where the Stupid Pill epidemic has taken a decided hold are FOX News and the EIB Radio Network, which is responsible for Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. The letters E.I.B. stand for (get your little knee-slappers ready, kiddies!) "Excellence In Broadcasting"! Is that too funny, or what? Limbaugh's drug problems have been much publicized in recent years. One year ago this month he was actually caught red handed trying to smuggle a bottle of Viagra into the United States. What hasn't been openly talked about in the American news media is Rush's major Stupid Pill jones. Listening to his show on any day of the week, one cannot avoid all of the tell tale signs of a major Stupid Pill Junkie: unsubstantiated accusations, flights of delusional fancy and full blown paranoia. No question about it: Rush is not a passive, recreational user of Stupid Pills. This is a man on the verge of a complete, drug induced psychological collapse. He needs to be rehabbed as soon as possible.

In the beginning, Stupid Pills were available almost exclusively to the well-to-do. Recent years, however, have shown that the Stupid Pill epidemic has infiltrated those of moderate means. Why else would so many of them consistently vote against their own self interest by electing to power a party that is dedicated to eliminating the middle class? Why would so many of them embrace a party that has decimated their already modest means of making a living? What could possibly be the explanation? Here's the explanation: Stupid Pills. Lots and lots and lots and lots of them!

Last week, after some Doctors were arrested in England for being involved in a plot to kill thousands of British people, what do you think FOX News' take on the story was?


If I were Roger Ailes (General Manager of FOX News) I would demand that the person who came up with that mind-numbingly stupid headline have his or her blood tested immediately. My bet is that the person, whoever it is, has suffered a major overdose of Stupid Pills. Here is the big question: What were the ratings for that particular broadcast? What percentage of viewers were so drugged out due to Stupid Pill abuse that they actually took the program seriously? Fifty percent? Eighty percent? Ninety-five percent? It makes one shudder just to consider the possibilities!

Twice now, such a huge percentage of the electorate were under the influence of Stupid Pills, that they actually believed that sending a half-witted cowboy wannabe from Crawford, Texas to the White House was a neat idea! On election night 1980, I got so drunk, I actually cast my vote (just as a joke, mind you) for Ronald Reagan! Should there be mandatory sobriety and blood tests conducted at polling stations across the land? It's a question that needs to be explored.

Which brings me to the disturbing and yet unavoidable question: Is George W. Bush - the president of the United States, the leader of the (so-called) "free world" and the most powerful man on the planet - a Stupid Pill Junkie? The signs are all there, my friends. That being the case, the question needs to be asked: Who is his connection? Who has the clout to bypass the Secret Service and supply the First Fool with what is obviously a very dangerous drug? My hypothesis would be Dick Cheney. No one in this administration has benefited more from Bush's stupidity than the vice-president. A congressional investigation is in order.

Heed my warning, campers: the wide availability of this insidious drug has done near irreparable harm to our once-great nation's social and economic infrastructure. Right now, Stupid Pills are perfectly legal. Legislation must be passed at once that makes a person in possession of them subject to instant rehabilitation. This can only be described as a scourge upon our good, decent and wondrous land. Action must be taken.

Remember, kids:

No...That doesn't really work, does it? Is there anyone out there who can help me come up with another really dumb slogan?

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY


At 11:34 AM, Blogger Tabitha said...

You have outdone yourself with this post, Tom! Excellent, excellent, excellent! On another note, in case you have lost contact with my Suck the Boob blog, I have moved it. You can read all the posts from Suck the Boob at:

At 1:45 PM, Blogger GoodtimeCharlie said...

About 15 years ago Rush had a TV show broadcast in the Detroit area. I saw it occasionally and unintentionally. When he cut to commercial, the camera would pan to the audience. I saw the same sort of smiling zombies. I wondered where they get these goofballs who have nothing better to do in the middle of the day; I still wonder, but while I don't so much care, I know they're out there.
I say we HIJACK the stupid pill shipment and replace them with sodium pentothal! I can see the headlines: Millions Awaken From Decades-long Coma!
Yeah, I can't believe some of the stuff these shills come up with, either; are they on crack?? I have the misfortune to occasionally hear some of them...And there's a real drop from the first to the second string...
George the Lesser as the greatest president in history? They say it repetitively or reflexively to prevent any critical thinking on their part; with the de-emphasis of history as a subject in public education, too much of the electorate can't recall the significance of anything that happened before the death of Anna Nichole Smith. I'm not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but if he, you and I were in a room, I'd be pretty smug that I wasn't the stupidest person in it... (HINT: Look for the pickled brain...)
I don't think he needs the pills; it's one of the few things he's achieved all on his own, with no help from George the Elder...
Dick Cheney as anything but a ham handed serial practitioner of crony capitalism, proponent of payback early and often and puppet-master strains credulity, if not reality. (But I still love saying that I spent more time in uniform than this entire administration... And shot fewer people...)
But I sometimes think his purpose is also to commit all these pardonable sins so George the Lesser won't have to, because, as we've so recently seen, sins can be pardoned by George the Lesser for anyone but himself...
How well I remember the night Nixon resigned! It was 2 AM in London, I was with a female American expatriate who left after the Kent State Massacre... You can guess the rest...
Did Faux REALLY come up with that headline?
WTF, O??
I'll grant that most fox viewers have an IQ that approaches room temperature on a good day, and they are preaching to the converted, so in answer to your rhetorical question, it's probably shockingly high, on the order of 2/3 to 4/5...
I could go on...

At 4:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tom, you got it right (did I say "right"?) again.
Stupid pills....
I've been working on the cure for many years, and they should only be taken by those that want to counteract the effects of stupid pills.
They're called "smart pills".
I actually made money with them way back in 5th grade when two of my spelling deficient friends lamented that they needed to find something that would help them pass a spelling test.
That's when I offered them "smart pills".
At the time, I had pet rabbits that I kept in a hutch that had a wire floor so the droppings could drop through. I scooped up a handful and offered them at a dime each.
Well, the first week, buddies each bought two, but alas, both failed the spelling test.
So the next week, I told them they needed to take more. They bought five each, but alas, both failed again.
So the next week, they were getting desperate as report cards were coming up soon.
I advised them to take ten each.
they started gulping smart pills, but when one of my spelling deficient ex-buddies got to number nine, he stopped and looked me right in the eye and said, "These smart pills taste like shit!"
I said, "See? You're getting smarter already!!!"

Yup! Smart pills are the best remedy for stupid pills.
Eating shit either way...especially when any member of Bushco opens their mouths.

At 9:19 PM, Anonymous Sandra Green said...

As always a great rant. I have often wondered how so many people could be that stupid to re-elect Bush. But then we only need to look at the numbers, Repubs had fixed the machines, but they never thought democrats would get that many votes, hence very narrow wins in many states. Says something about arrogance and self-delusion.

Having grownup in Houston and Texas all I wanted was a two party state, so I voted republican ticket. I had to leave this state and go to California to get my head turned around. Of course I too took a few drugs at the time, but I was much older than you are at the time.

The time I was for the Republicans it as about change in Texas politics. Well all those elected people I wanted to change, changed parties with Reagan. LOL! Live and learn. I cannot wait to move again and leave good old Texas and their stupid politics. They did not take US government money to fund Chips for kids, because it might raise taxes, but it would cut their pet projects.

I understand why you are as you are, because you are a Leo and born one day after my birth-date in August. I do not think I would survived things at your age. I would have gone crazy and died of drug over dose. Fire signs just need to change things and love the spotlight if they can catch it.

At 4:03 AM, Anonymous Sandra Green said...

After much thought, about 6 hours, I have some more thoughts about stupid pills. People just do not want to face big problems they cannot change or they are too busy just trying to deal with their own everyday problems.

In small towns in the South where a lot of those Bush believers live, there is a little, if any civics taught any more and history is taught so the south were the good guys. As I teacher in a small town I was told that there was no homework on Wednesday's because it was church night. I told them within two months my values were too different to return in the fall.

I was taught all politicians were crooks and you voted for those who would steal some for their constituents too. They find it hard to believe the president would lie to them and if they did believe it what does that mean? They do not want to think. They have not been taught to think. Maybe they just do not have time to think or the are afraid what would happen if they did think.

Many people have grown up with little hope of changing things outside their own lives, if that and only vengeful God could change that. You must conform to everyone else and not to is a sin more of less. They are sheep and their is no shepherd leading them. They are really afraid of knowing that. I think you really have to be older and have something to lose, to really stop and think what might happen to you if things continue as they are.

We do not honor our elders as most civilizations do. You have to really live through the hard times to start to understand what is at stake right now and to really get mad at the out right lies that are being feed to nation at this time. Maybe they are not stupid pills, but fear pills.

Some people just have to have someone make the rules for them to follow, so they know what to do. They are afraid of coloring outside the lines, must less outside the box. I have two kids who just do not want to think about what is going on. No matter what I say they do not listen and they are approaching 50.

At 7:29 PM, Blogger Tom Degan's Daily Rant said...

Great bunch of comments, folks! Who do you think will be the first half-witted, far-right commentator to die of an overdose of Stupid Pills? My bet is either Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney or Ann Coulter.

Whaddaya say? Any takers???


Tom Degan

At 7:33 PM, Anonymous Macam said...

Thanks Tom, you help to restore my confidence in this corrupt American culture....
Lets hope somebody can find a cure for this madness.

At 11:50 PM, Anonymous Greg Lenz said...

Tom, your style of writing is extremely refreshing.

You're right on the mark, GWB is a murderer... disgusting.

I look forward to reading your blogs.
Thanks, Greg

At 3:06 AM, Anonymous larkrise said...

Ann Coulter is going to choke on her own venom or vomit or both. She looks anorexic; and is quite possibly bulemic. She is so full of viciousness that it is bound to poison her. There is nothing healthy about her, neither in body nor in spirit.
Fanatics are people who are unable to think beyond a set-in-stone dogma. They leave reality, logic and reason behind. They are empty, vacuous souls, who are terrified of losing control in an uncontrollable world. So, they latch on to some cult-like beliefs, and follow them (and their chief advocate)blindly. Hence, we have the Jim Jones phenomenon, and the political True Believers. Facts are anaethema to them. They believe in MAGIC! Current Neoconservative incantations would be: "The Market Place will take care of everything." (Even though there is an astonishing increase in corporate buyouts and takeovers, resulting in virtual monopolies, which completely negate the ability of the market place to function.) Pre-emptive War will conquer our enemies. (Even though the pre-emptive war in Iraq has increased the number of terrorist attacks, the number of terrorists, increased their ability to use deadly weapons, and has allowed them to regroup.) The Executive Branch must have absolute power. (This in a country that is SUPPOSED to value our Constitutional freedoms, value the decision of a jury of peers, and respect the sentencing of a judge.) I could go on and on, but you get the picture. In the final analysis, fanatics don't need logic or facts. They just need their dogma and a tin pot dictator to carry it out: some charlatan, crackpot, rogue, bully boy and his flunkies, (read Gestapo)to blithely lead them over the abyss. This simplifies life for the faithful. It allows them NOT to think nor analyze. That all of this always ends in destruction and defeat matters not one whit. They firmly believe the Promised Land awaits them. Whatever that might be. Stupid Pills. Yes, indeed. Coupled with a heaping dose of fanaticism.

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