Scott Baio and the Nugent Playbook

 

Erin Moran

It isn't any wonder that Scott Baio is one of Donald Trump's biggest and most vocal admirers. Like the Donald, Scott has this unfortunate tendency of letting loose with a verbal barrage before his brain clicks into action. This bad habit of his is constantly being let loose on a - by now - thoroughly suspecting public, as it was earlier this year when this self-righteous knucklehead breathed a condescending sigh regarding the death of his former Happy Days costar, Erin Moran. That's what happens when one's life is wasted by the abuse of narcotics:

"My thing is, I feel bad because her whole life, she was troubled, could never find what made her happy and content. For me, you do drugs or drink, you're gonna die. I'm sorry if that's cold, but God gave you a brain, gave you the will to thrive and you gotta take care of yourself."

The only problem with this utterly reckless statement was the embarrassing fact, later revealed from her autopsy, that Erin didn't die of a drug overdose. The poor woman had been quietly (and by all accounts bravely) battling throat cancer since the middle part of 2016. She was a troubled woman who had struggled with emotional issues for her entire life. Scott could not resist kicking dirt on her still-warm body. Nice guy.

I have always associated Scott Baio with the demise of the Happy Days program. I don't know if you remember this, but for the first two or three years of that show's existence it was excellent. Sometime in around 1976 or so, the format changed. Instead of being shot within the thoughtful confines of a film studio, the producers moved it to a studio audience. Gone forever were the thoughtful scripts. From that moment on, the program focused on the muggings of "DAH FONZ!", an interesting and sympathetic character in the beginning. It was around this period that a new character appeared: Fonzie's teenaged nephew, "Chachi". From that moment on, Happy Days became unwatchable as far as I was concerned. I never again wasted another minute of my time on it. Although I never had a chance to watch it, I have it from good sources that the spin-off series, Joanie Loves Chachi, was even worse. Mind you, I'm not blaming any of this dreck on Scott Baio, he was just some innocent kid given the break of a lifetime. He would have been foolish not to take advantage of it. I'm merely pointing out that Chachi's fingerprints are just one of many on the Happy Days corpse.

The final nail in the coffin of his career as a sit-com star came a couple of years later in something that was called, Charles In Charge. I am not in a position to comment on the quality of this one. I can only assume that it was as bad - probably much worse - as most of the televised "comedy" of the dreadful era I always refer to as The Dark Ages of American Television Comedy.



Vicky Soto

I was thinking about this last week when Scott found himself in his latest, totally avoidable, controversy, when he posted on Twitter a meme that suggested that the murder of thirty-two year old Heather Heyer by a racist thug in Charlottesville earlier this month, had been staged by an imaginary group of latte-swirling, cheese-eating liberal elitists. In the past, he has also suggested that maybe the slaughter in Newtown, Connecticut in December of 2012 of twenty little boys and girls and the six women whose job it was to educate and protect them (REMEMBER THAT ONE???) was another myth cooked up by those liberal rascals. On this particular posting he crudely suggested that Heather's mother and murdered teacher Vicky Soto were really the same person, and that "she" was nothing more that a paid "crisis actor" (whatever the hell that's supposed to mean) I swear, I'm not making this up, folks.

I feel no anger in my heart for Scott Baio. Truth be told I feel sorry for the pathetic little twit. He obviously longs for the days when his star shined bright; when he was on top of the world. He is not the first child star to have the spotlight elude him as an adult. The pages of film history are littered with the sad, often tragic examples of others. In this respect, Scott is lucky. He didn't end up being shot to death before his thirtieth birthday as was the case of Carl "Alfalfa" Switzer of Little Rascal fame; He avoided ending his life from an overdose of heroin and being buried in a Pauper's grave as did Bobby Driscoll - best remembered today for being the voice of Peter Pan in the Disney film of the same name; and he certainly didn't languish in poverty before dying too soon of cancer like his old friend, Erin Moran. By all accounts, Scott Baio's life these days is contented and comfortable. He should consider himself fortunate - but for reasons known only to himself - he does not.

Ted

I get the feeling that poor old Scott has studied the Ted Nugent playbook rather carefully. To refresh your memory, Ted is a one-hit-wonder from the seventies of mediocre talent, who somehow managed to chart something called Cat Scratch Fever. In 1977, when  I caught his act with a group of friends in New York City, I walked out of the show after fifteen minutes - the only time in my life that I ever hightailed it out of a rock concert.  He was that awful. In recent years, Ted has had a bit of trouble keeping his "brand" in the public arena. He certainly can't do it by virtue of his "talent" ( which is all-but nonexistent). What to do? Just come out every now and then with a really hateful and dumb remark that is just weird enough to keep the masses of halfwits and Nazis paying attention. In this respect, Ted has been able to succeed beyond anyone's expectations. His biggest moment of vainglory came a few years ago when he compared then-President Barack Obama to a coyote that ought to be shot. For the record, he said this at an NRA rally. Isn't that priceless?

I suspect that Scott Baio has taken Ted's playbook and run for the hills with it. To his credit, Scott's public pronouncements are not half as vile and idiotic as Nugent's - that would take quite a bit of effort - but they can be pretty mean-spirited nonetheless.

Scott Baio needs to come to grips with his situation. He can avoid his name being tarnished in the history books as the most visible champion of the worst, most corrupt and vulgar president in the history of human mediocrity. Someday - soon - his error is bound to dawn on him. He needs to leave  his heirs something to be proud of. Being remembered as Donald Trump's spokesman will be far more harmful to his legacy than Joanie Loves Chachi ever will be. Just a thought.

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY

AFTERTHOUGHT:

I tried to offer this sage advice to Scott Baio via Twitter, but he has blocked me from using his site. At least I made the effort.